Just In
for The Men In White

6/1/2008 c14 1Spartan Zero
Going off what I have read so far of this story, I believe I know why very little people have been reading it or reviewing it. The story tends to get bogged down in a lot of exposition where the author is explaining things too much. It gets very wordy and makes people lose interest. Also, in these exposition parts I believe that too much is explained. It keeps telling the feelings of every single person going into very minute details. This is really slowing the story down. Just explain what is needed for understangding the story and then move on. Some things the reader can figure out for themselves without the author having to explicitly tell them about it.
4/30/2008 c1 1WholeWheatBeats
This is good! keep it up!

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