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for Treason

8/26/2008 c14 17zutarakid50
Yay! Toph's back! And Ty-lee! I wonderd what had happend to her. Azula is soo mean! I hope Zuzu's gonna be Ok... :(
8/4/2008 c13 1TheLastNight57
GREAT STORY! please update! I'm dying to know what happens!
7/8/2008 c13 15klainelynch
Ah! Please don't kill Zuko! That would be too depressing!

*cough* Now on to a more coherent review...

I really did love this chapter. My Iroh-fangirl-ness exploded with happiness since nearly half of this chapter followed him around. You really got his character dead on, what with him at the market and such.

Can't wait for more!
7/7/2008 c13 17zutarakid50
Asamiya is so brave! She's taking Roku, right? i don't think there's a better way (other than Appa) to get to the North pole. She chould take SOMEONE with her though. I don't know who, but someone.

And I hope Toph's OK...
7/7/2008 c13 1Pepipanda
Thanks for the update! Go Asamiya! I can't wait for her to get going and save Zuko, though I hope you won't completely ignore the goings on at the palace while she is gone.

The first part with Iroh shows his connection to the family as well as Zuko's. I just love how close they are in contrast to Zuko's childhood family. Iroh is so personable and friendly. He loves simple things and that helps make him so charming. Nice cane. Thinking of The Firebending Masters? I like how Iroh is anticipating, not only Zuko's recovery, but his need for independence. He knows him so well.

Zuko's confusion at what had Katara crying so hard really felt like it belonged. Asamiya is so broken up about this, which fits well considering how close she is to Zuko. I also liked how everyone reacted to the news or just the feeling that something was wrong in their own way. Nobody wants to lose Zuko.

Now that Katara knows that Zuko is almost doomed, she really doesn't want to lose Asamiya too, but Asamiya won't back down, and that's great. I'm already looking forward to Asamiya's adventure!

Oh, and do you have any idea how long this story is going to be?
7/7/2008 c13 31kasplosion
seriously, you know how to spin a mean web of a story. i love everything! asamiya is so like zuko in the latest chapters and iroh still brings the jokes. just fantastic! i wasnt expecting azula to be behind it all or even mai! but, wow, oh, wow! you fooled me! i cant wait for the next updates! can you say epic? [:
7/7/2008 c12 avatargirl92008
I love this story! Normally I'm not too keen on OC's but you really did a great job. Fantastic work and can't wait to read more!
6/27/2008 c12 15klainelynch
I'm going to be honest, I really didn't like the comedy bit at the end. It just felt forced. However, it certainly didn't kill the chapter. The whole Mai-is-Rin thing was really cool.
6/27/2008 c11 klainelynch
Nice and fluffy, I loved it!
6/26/2008 c12 17zutarakid50
Nice touch with Mai! I never would have guessed her! I would have asked what Toph asked! Cool.

ROFL! I like the plot device. Asmamiya needs to got to the North pole? I hope Zuko makes it... :(
6/25/2008 c12 Dragon Jadefire
I like the plot device.
6/25/2008 c12 1Pepipanda
YAY! Asamiya has caught on! How is she going to get to the North Pole in time? Appa could get there and back in time, but people would notice that he was gone, but for that matter everyone would know if Asamiya left, so I guess being inconspicuous in that matter would be moot.

It makes a kind of weird sense: a fire nation poison curable only by a Water Tribe antidote. The description of the fire lily poison reminds me of a quote from The Princess Bride"That which you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is colorless, tasteless, dissovles instantly in any liguid and is one of the more deadly poisons known to man". In other words, the perfect poison.

I liked how you put Toph in a wooden cage. In some Asian views, wood is an element, which probably explains why bending has no effect on it(except of course, that it burns). The actual capture reminded me of when Toph learned to metalbend in the design of the cage(came down from above and encased her).

Nice lampshading(if you don't know what this means, look it up on . It's a very interesting website with lots of Avatar examples) at the end there (with the conscience conversation). Asamiya reminds me of Zuko at the end in that she charges right into her solution with little or no thought on the logistics. She just does what she thinks is right and/or necessary.

Just so you know, I often reread your stories while I write the review so I don't miss as many things I want to comment on(I can't say "so I don't miss anything" because I know there will be things later that I think of or someone else thinks of).

Keep going! :)
6/24/2008 c11 17zutarakid50
I remenber that song. I've watched almost all the Disney movies. Good song choice for this chapter!
6/24/2008 c11 1Pepipanda
They are both so tired. Zuko is so weak and sick and it's just sad seeing him like this since he's normally a very strong character, but it makes very good character intereaction. It's wonderful to see Zuko bonding(well strengthening his bond) with his daughter(a few chapters ago) and then now with his wife. Katara is so devoted to him, and he to her.

Some of Katara's worries and doubts mid-chapter seem pretty reasonable, but I don't think she was meant to be with Aang(at least not in this story's universe). The Zutara here is just too strong and sweet.

It seems that everyone is thinking and worrying about what they would do if Zuko died, but nobody wants anyone(especially Zuko) to think that it could happen. They all care so much! This story is so heartwarming in that everyone cares for and loves each other so much, but it's also exciting and it makes me so happy when I see "Treason" on the first page of Avatar fics!

This was a very powerful and lovely chapter.

The beginning is a scene for later plot development? Hm.

Keep it up!
6/24/2008 c11 Dragon Jadefire
I think you did fine witht eh beginning. Not bad anyways. I liked it. Kept it vague enough to be T.

Anyways. Great job, so...when will they figure out that Zuko is poisoned? Will Zuko live? Just tell me if he lives! I'll keep it a secret.
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