12/15/2008 c2 incarnationofvictory
that was good although normally the non-honorific is used between sib. spouses and such they can use it if if they known each other long enough(does pen pals even count?) so i would assume he would use "-san" first later "-chan" and THEN " " should it so happen oh well i'm not entirly sure(i might love Japan but i don't speak Japanese)
that was good although normally the non-honorific is used between sib. spouses and such they can use it if if they known each other long enough(does pen pals even count?) so i would assume he would use "-san" first later "-chan" and THEN " " should it so happen oh well i'm not entirly sure(i might love Japan but i don't speak Japanese)
7/13/2008 c3 41Unique Art
HA! I love this side of Seto. Molly is funny and cute! I'm glad she isn't mary-sueish. She lost to Seto, which adds a touch of reality to her character. I mean, most of the time, I would assume a 17 year old great gamer would beat an 11 year old girl. But, hey, I could be wrong! I just liked that detail. And Mokie has a hamster? Can I see it!
Oh, and the characters were nice. Molly is so quirky and fun, which is something that brings her letters to life. Nice job!
HA! I love this side of Seto. Molly is funny and cute! I'm glad she isn't mary-sueish. She lost to Seto, which adds a touch of reality to her character. I mean, most of the time, I would assume a 17 year old great gamer would beat an 11 year old girl. But, hey, I could be wrong! I just liked that detail. And Mokie has a hamster? Can I see it!
Oh, and the characters were nice. Molly is so quirky and fun, which is something that brings her letters to life. Nice job!
7/13/2008 c3 4Arana Is
Cute chap. I like this chap best. I have a much stronger impression of who Molly is in this chapter. She seems like such an adorable kid. Good thing you had her loose to Kaiba-or that might have been a Mary Sue moment. As for the Kaiba Bros, I thought that they were in character as well. The only thing that distracted me was the Japanese. The words like 'bochamma' and 'nisaan' didn't distract me, but the bigger phrases did. I think it would be better if you just put that in english and stated that it was Japanese. But that just might be me. I've read books that what you do. Anyway, looking forward to your next update!
Cute chap. I like this chap best. I have a much stronger impression of who Molly is in this chapter. She seems like such an adorable kid. Good thing you had her loose to Kaiba-or that might have been a Mary Sue moment. As for the Kaiba Bros, I thought that they were in character as well. The only thing that distracted me was the Japanese. The words like 'bochamma' and 'nisaan' didn't distract me, but the bigger phrases did. I think it would be better if you just put that in english and stated that it was Japanese. But that just might be me. I've read books that what you do. Anyway, looking forward to your next update!
6/15/2008 c2 1Archon Dragon
I like this story; you are doing good. The second chapter is about the right size. You used the time jump in a good place, keep up the good work.
I like this story; you are doing good. The second chapter is about the right size. You used the time jump in a good place, keep up the good work.
6/15/2008 c2 4Arana Is
Cute story. It's not often that Mokuba gets a story, let alone an OC fic. As for Kaiba, as long as you don't have him being extremely social, funny, and ridiculously OOC, your story should be okay. Don't worry about reviews. Some of the best stories that I've read on this website don't have tons of reviews, and some of the worst stories have too many reviews. Anyway update. And makes sure Molly's no Mary Sue. Although I get that she's a redhead, seems like a nice kid, and a couple of other details, I don't know who she is yet. I'm sure that you'll do that in the next chapter, but it's important to give an instant strong impression of the OC's personality because we know nothing about the OC. Anyway, update.
Cute story. It's not often that Mokuba gets a story, let alone an OC fic. As for Kaiba, as long as you don't have him being extremely social, funny, and ridiculously OOC, your story should be okay. Don't worry about reviews. Some of the best stories that I've read on this website don't have tons of reviews, and some of the worst stories have too many reviews. Anyway update. And makes sure Molly's no Mary Sue. Although I get that she's a redhead, seems like a nice kid, and a couple of other details, I don't know who she is yet. I'm sure that you'll do that in the next chapter, but it's important to give an instant strong impression of the OC's personality because we know nothing about the OC. Anyway, update.
6/15/2008 c2 41Unique Art
This is getting really good! I like how they've stayed friends, even after all of that time. I think a few letters from that chunk of time would add a nice touch, but that's just me. Other than that, I loved it! You deserve more reviews.
This is getting really good! I like how they've stayed friends, even after all of that time. I think a few letters from that chunk of time would add a nice touch, but that's just me. Other than that, I loved it! You deserve more reviews.
5/29/2008 c1 Journey Maker
I really like this story.. Please update when you can...
I really like this story.. Please update when you can...