for Konoha no Kamikaze8/27/2013 c2 Guest
can you make it longer and stop butting in half way through it is not good and I like the story manly because sakura is not a fan of sasuke and naruto is going to find out how is perantes are
can you make it longer and stop butting in half way through it is not good and I like the story manly because sakura is not a fan of sasuke and naruto is going to find out how is perantes are
1/3/2009 c2 
28kazikamikaze24
The story is still sketchy. It seems like you're not taking the time to add detail to clothing, to plot, or showing a real difference in plot. Yes Sakura and Naruto are relatives, but they're still sharing a bond to Sasuke. A story relies on information for the people/reader to believe in it. You never said how Naruto met with Kyuubi, or how Naruto knows as much as he does. The story is still good, and can become a great tale, but serious work must be done not just in the story, but the emotional attachment you have for it as well.
Kazikamikaze24.
28kazikamikaze24The story is still sketchy. It seems like you're not taking the time to add detail to clothing, to plot, or showing a real difference in plot. Yes Sakura and Naruto are relatives, but they're still sharing a bond to Sasuke. A story relies on information for the people/reader to believe in it. You never said how Naruto met with Kyuubi, or how Naruto knows as much as he does. The story is still good, and can become a great tale, but serious work must be done not just in the story, but the emotional attachment you have for it as well.
Kazikamikaze24.
10/30/2008 c2 7Myra the Dovahkiin
great story. keep writing. Both Temari & Fem. Haku should be with Naruto.
7Myra the Dovahkiingreat story. keep writing. Both Temari & Fem. Haku should be with Naruto.
5/28/2008 c1 Darksnider05
^_^ Blood you killed someone in the your first chapter yay and Harunos no less though they were child abusers so.. thats like triple points.
^_^ Blood you killed someone in the your first chapter yay and Harunos no less though they were child abusers so.. thats like triple points.