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for Always Touching

8/13/2018 c1 Mary 18 sons
Yeah, it's close to a decade if not outright a decade, but...I'm officially going into the MTNN fandom and well, I saw yours and for some reason it caught my eye? So I took a peek and I read it. So I have some compliments and some constructive criticism (and I'm not sure it'll be welcome since I'm just an anon, not to mention how late I am and there's a 95% chance you're not even in this fandom anymore but still), hope you're not too offended.

So compliments first. When reading this story, I really loved how you stayed in character most of the time. I love Yako's fear towards Neuro. In the anime, it was something that was strangely absent compared to the manga, and it was the major difference I noticed between the two. No matter what Yako suffered in the anime, whether she was beaten, thrown, kicked, punched, threatened, and everything in-between, she never seemed to do anything more than complain. So you mentioning her fear was quite nice and refreshing to me. I also liked her POV. There weren't any glaring grammatical mistakes in your story, and it flowed smoothly. For a one-shot, it was oddly satisfying.

But maybe because I had such expectations for this story when I started reading it, when it got up to the kissing scene, I don't know, it kind of made me sad a bit? Not because a romance isn't possible between Neuro and Yako, but because if they did have a romance, it wouldn't be as gentle as you made it out to be. One thing I noticed about Neuro is that he does care for Yako in his own way; apparently it's a bit more obvious at the end of the manga series (so salty...), but in the anime, he does have this protective streak towards her. He never fails to keep her safe (occasionally getting himself hurt in the process) but when he does protect her, he usually either throws her somewhere, punches her out of the way, and does other forms of bodily harm to keep her safe. This combined with the fact that Neuro mentions many times that he has no idea about the human heart, and the kissing scene suddenly seems out of place. Besides this, you were originally in Yako's POV, but in the middle of the story, you shifted to Neuro's POV with no break whatsoever. If this was a general 3rd person view I'd have no problem with that, but it was made clear that Yako was the focus/narrator of this story in the beginning. That threw me off a little, too.

Besides those things though, I greatly enjoyed your story. Actually, I'm happy you made a MTNN fanfic at all, because there are so few of them. I tried looking in Ao3, but there it had even less than there was here, perhaps because this website came first. So again, hope you aren't too offended with what I said, because I really did like your story. (To be honest, I don't have a lot of het pairings I like; these two are one of the few exceptions. So I'm really glad you made something for these two, and made it well.)

Thanks for taking the time out to read this!
9/25/2017 c1 James Birdsong
Well written
10/3/2015 c1 21Moriyasha Neko-hime
9/29/2011 c1 Bumblebeecamaro38
Neuro's way of showing he cares is strange, no? Poor Godai was sent down the stairs, is there no love for the former yakuza? XD
6/1/2011 c1 14Snowy Ptarmigan
Very entertaining! The whole Godai thing around the end gave me laughs! XD Genuis!
5/15/2011 c1 11Qu33rzi
I really like this idea and your writing was really good too.
5/11/2011 c1 Sepsis
really nice! ;)
6/17/2009 c1 deletedinactivew0001110101010
well i laughed
1/19/2009 c1 2Mistral-black
Ohh! so cute and lovely! I like it! =3
12/12/2008 c1 1Aiko110

Plz let something like this happen in the manga! It was so in character so brilliant! ^/^

*gushes w/ happiness*
11/25/2008 c1 inuyashlovr
0.0 OMG! that was close! . Geah!! *blush*
11/12/2008 c1 Evan le Fay
This part; She pondered for a moment before he patted his lap.

"O-Oh, no. ...No" made me squee soo hard :D Thanks for this lovely fic ^^
10/27/2008 c1 10darkryubaby
9/14/2008 c1 5Awesomoisawesome
that was a sweet fic, kind of
8/12/2008 c1 18ameo66
HA HA HA, perfect ending must I say. Very unfortunate for Godai must I say though.
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