Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Is it really you?

12/5/2016 c7 7Lizardphobia
Oh sweet. You got Jase and Kim together in this one. :)
12/5/2016 c1 Lizardphobia
Oh cute. It's rare to see a Tommy and Trini fic, but inlike it!
8/25/2016 c9 35Pink ranger 13
It's a great story
6/11/2010 c9 ClassicTVfan
hmmm...i'm not too sure about tommy and trini being together as a couple but its something different. can't wait for the next chapter.
4/14/2010 c8 Kay249
Are you going to update this one?

Cuz i would like to see the progress between Trini and Tommy, since he seemed still has a thing for Kim.

Thanks.
11/22/2009 c8 606Ghostwriter
I think Jason has had some experience inthis matter. Great job. Keep it up. Catch ya on the flip side.
11/22/2009 c8 13HorseRidersHaveMoreFun
I like the story idea, but if Tommy's dating Trini, he should be happy that Jason and Kim were together. The way you have it written, he's still carrying a torch for Kim. If that's true, then in a sense he's just using Trini to make Kim jealous.

If Tommy's really truly still good friends with Jason, then Jase would have told him before now that he was dating Kim. It would have been the right thing to do according to how Jason thinks and reasons things out. Plus, it's how he would do things according to the 'code' he went by on the show.

Even Kim, if she still cared about Tommy or was friends with him in any kind of way, she would have told him by now. They wouldn't be trying to keep it a secret from him. Yes, I can see Tommy giving Kim the 'if you drop him like you dropped me' talk and giving Jason the 'if you hurt her, I'm gonna hurt you' talk, but other than that, I think that he'd be happy two of his best friends have found someone that they could tell all of their secrets to and share a life with.

So you need to make up your mind: is Tommy with Trini, fully and with all of his heart? Or is he just using her to make Kim jealous because he's still carrying a torch for the 1st Pink Ranger?

Also, get a beta reader. You're use of punctuation and grammar has started going down hill really bad and it is starting to detract from the story. Spell checker doesn't catch the difference between words like: there, their and they're or two, to and too. All it cares about is that the word is spelled correctly. Some grammar checkers don't catch that kind of stuff either.

Take the first few lines of chp 8:

Tommy came back into the Inn with four bags of food to only find the room empty. Tri yghare you in there?” asked Tommy setting the bags of food down and going over to the bathroom door and knocking on it.

“Yes I’m in here were else would I be .” sighed Trini

“Oh well when your done I went to get us something to eat if your hungry.” said Tommy

“Thanks but I’m not really hungry.” said Trini coming out of the bathroom with a towel rapped around her hair

It would flow much better if it went like this:

Tommy came back to the Inn with four bags of food only to find their room empty. He set the bags of food down before going over to the bathroom door, then knocked on it. “Trini? Are you in there?”

“Yes, I'm in here. Where else would I be?” She asked, sighing softly as she finished what she was doing.

“Oh, well, I went to get us something to eat. So it's out here once you get done, if you're hungry.”

“Thanks Tommy, but I'm not really hungry.” Trini replied, coming out of the bathroom with her hair wrapped up in a towel and piled on top of her head.

What I did was go through and correct your spelling and punctuation errors, added a few details, changed some of the wording around and stopped identifying them in every sentence with their name.

This is the stuff that a good beta reader can help you with.
11/9/2009 c7 606Ghostwriter
Hey, cool. Catch ya on the flip side.
11/8/2009 c7 13HorseRidersHaveMoreFun
The chapter is okay, but it's really hard to follow. Your first paragraph was one long, run-on sentence. You really need a beta reader.

Most of the entire chapter was the same way. The lack of proper punctuation makes it really hard to read and keep track of.
5/12/2009 c6 HorseRidersHaveMoreFun
I understand about personal problems getting in the way of things. I liked this chapter, but there were a lot of spelling mistakes that I don't normally see. Hope things get better for you.
5/10/2009 c5 HorseRidersHaveMoreFun
Thought it was going okay, but you need to give it a bit more depth. And watch your punctuation. You're missing a lot in chp 3. Also, in chp 5, lose the underlining. Makes it really hard to read.
5/10/2009 c5 20JasonLeeScottFan
This is good but you shouldn't underline everything. It makes it harder to read. Plus, you should update more often or people will lose interest. Please update soon!
5/10/2009 c5 2Shego2009
porky pine head? That whs funny. thanks for the update! can't wait for the next one.
5/10/2009 c4 Shego2009
Are you ever going to update this? I really enjoyed this and want to see what happens next.
7/28/2008 c2 53slytherensangel26
well this is a very odd pairing. but i think i will stick with this.

very interesting.
18 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service