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11/1/2010 c2 29CeCe Away
Ya know, you don't get to see much of John's emotions and nightmares often. This is very good. Love how Dean tried to comfort and take care of his dad.
8/15/2008 c2 17bananaandbooks
Oh This is so absolutely awesome :D It broke my heart.It's really beautifully done. A powerful piece of work *bows head in admiration*

Congratulation on the first story

hope to read more from you :)

6/21/2008 c2 91Muffy Morrigan
What a wonderful, lovely, breathtaking fic. It was so warm and gentle, so sad. I feel for John and I really try to keep the peace with him (we have issues LOL) but this was perfect and already the burden on Dean, his father's need. So wonderful, so very wonderful.

Five lovingly detail, freshly waxed Impalas.
6/21/2008 c1 Muffy Morrigan
Lovely-This is perfect and so very sad and so very true of him.

Rated: Five Impalas
6/18/2008 c2 6abni
Oh, this is so heartbreaking! I love how you start out with Dean's point of view before moving on to John!

'Dim lights from the road outside flickered through the poor excuse for curtains across the room. It gave the appearence of monster's shadows dancing on the wall. Dean knew they were just shadows, just as he knew real monsters existed, but he was glad his Dad was here with them for once.' - wonderful description, and so very realistic in terms of how their childhood must have been, and Dean's relief that his dad is there is so tragic in a way, since it turns out to be Dean's job to save his father and not the other way around.

'Dean watched his father carefully and knew that what ever haunted his nights, would only increase the desperate need during the day. Since Dean's mother died, Dean's father had began searching for her killer, and then he had begun training his sons to defend themselves. He did it with such a military flare that Dean sometimes thought he was in the marines instead of at home.' - this, too - so tragic that young Dean has this insight, knowing that bad nights lead to bad days for them, and that it's all tied to John's loss of Mary. And his thought that he really wanted to spend the night playing with Sam, but knowing that probably won't be possible *sniff*

'He swallowed hard, tears springing to his eyes. He quickly wiped them away. This was no time to get emotional. He was having enough trouble staying in control when he was asleep, and he was damned if he was going to let it haunt his days as well.' - Then John - so desperately trying to hold things together, not realising that things might've been better, for him, for his children, if only he let that control slip a little and release some of all the emotion building up inside him. But again, so very realistic, trying to protect his children in any way he can.

(Uh, guess I should've warned you, I tend to ramble (a lot) when I review - sorry about that, hope you'll bear with me!)

I love your description of John's nightmare, we all know the image of Mary on the ceiling, but then you add your own little details making it his own personal nightmare rather than just what we saw in the Pilot - brilliant!

'In her eyes he only saw fear.

Fear of him.

Fear for him.

Fear for their children.' - and this says it all, doesn't it? Somehow, subconsciously, he knows that what he's doing may not be right ('fear of him') - that he may do harm to himself by pursuing this so intensely (fear for him) - either get hurt or killed or becoming something she never wanted him to be - and then 'fear for their children' - both fear of what the monsters out there may do to them but also what John himself may do to them. - Awesome writing, so simple yet so powerful!

'Almost giving into dispair, John felt a warm presence.

A small touch on his shoulder.

Warm and comforting. It angkered him.

Suddenly he jerked awake, back into the real world.' - and then Dean bringing him back from his nightmare, back to safety, back to the warm, loving person John once was, to his responsibilities as a father, not as a drill sergent.

'The words were spoken softly, but the way Dean said them always made John feel stronger. This was his son, and he needed to be protected, but at the same time, John felt it was Dean who was watching out for him. Keeping him sane.

"I'm fine, son."

Dean smiled. It was too old for his age, but John knew Dean knew. Things would never be alright.' - and then this, again so heartbreaking, John knowing he should be the one protecting Dean but still needing to rely so much on him for his own sanity, already realising that what has happened to them - Mary's death and what has come after that - has changed him, making him older, and more cynical, too ('things would never be alright').

'Dean knew it was going to be another long day. He knew his father was not fine.

But Dean did what ever he could to help him.

Dean woke Sammy up.' - and then Dean doing the only thing he knows to do to help, moving into 'good little soldier' mode and doing what his father asks of him. *sniff* - So tragic, so realistic.

'That gave him hope for his children.

They were special.

Nothing would get them.

He would train them to be safe if it was the last thing he would do.

His family would revenge Mary, then maybe she could rest in peace.

And so could he.'

- And I just love this ending, there's so much in there! - His hopes that his children will be alright, that he will protect them in the only way he sees as right - by training them - not realising that in the end, this won't make things alright anyway, that this may harm them too, just in different ways. And then that tragic hope, that they will be able to rest in peace once Mary's avenged - so tragic now that we know what happened afterwards, that, well, John may be resting in peace now that he's out of Hell, but his two boys certainly don't.

Uh, sorry again, hope you're still with me, I really do ramble sometimes *embarrassed grin*.

Again, congratulations on your first Supernatural story - I hope you keep writing them, I love the insight you show of the characters and the way you put so much meaning into even the smallest details of your writing. I can't wait to read more!

Love, abni
6/18/2008 c1 abni
Hi Hob!

CONGRATULATIONS on your first Supernatural fanfic! I was so happy to see this posted :D

I'm guessing this is about John dreaming about Mary and Dean waking him up? Wonderful poem, very powerful and beautiful imagery! I love how you use opposites - 'white shadow', 'icey flames' - enhances the impact of the poem wonderfully. And of course the absolutely heartbreaking 'A smile so old and once innocent' about Dean.

And these probably are my favourite lines:

'I am haunted forever by my dreams

I haunt my children when I am awake.' - so tragic, and absolutely spot on when talking about John Winchester.

Again, congratulations! And now I'm off to read the story :D

Love, Abni

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