for The Band of Nine11/2/2014 c6 
2KyoudaiDoushi
Issue: When the Hell did Naruto manage to tell the Hokage about the invasion?
2KyoudaiDoushiIssue: When the Hell did Naruto manage to tell the Hokage about the invasion?
11/2/2014 c5 KyoudaiDoushi
*snicker* With how she normally acts, it's easy to forget that Hanabi is only eight.
*snicker* With how she normally acts, it's easy to forget that Hanabi is only eight.
11/2/2014 c3 KyoudaiDoushi
I only really found one issue in this chapter and it was, in all honesty, a minor one: Why did Toto question Naruto about the gauntlets when he bought them Henged into 'a tall brown-haired man with a long mustache'? Since he felt the need to Henge himself the first time he went there, it implies he would have done the same when he went and commissioned arrows for his bow. Or did he decide the man could be trusted and go back normally, thus revealing he was the one who either bought or was at least now in possession of them?
I only really found one issue in this chapter and it was, in all honesty, a minor one: Why did Toto question Naruto about the gauntlets when he bought them Henged into 'a tall brown-haired man with a long mustache'? Since he felt the need to Henge himself the first time he went there, it implies he would have done the same when he went and commissioned arrows for his bow. Or did he decide the man could be trusted and go back normally, thus revealing he was the one who either bought or was at least now in possession of them?
11/2/2014 c2 KyoudaiDoushi
My first concern from this chapter is that when they set camp for the night, they all went to sleep without any mention of them setting up any precautions, such as Naruto setting up a roving guard of Kage Bunshin or settling into a rotating guard schedule. They may still be in Fire Country territory, but I fail to believe any military unit would be so careless while in the field.
The second is actual from the last chapter: I was under the distinct impression, from what we were shown of Kiba and the rare sightings of his mother and sister in canon, that an Inuzuka was never without their ninken partners at their side, especially when going into a combat situation. So why would Hana purposely leave hers behind for something as utterly mundane as "watching over the injured animals"? They would have been especially helpful while fighting the two Iwa-nin, even if she eventually defeated them herself.
Concern number three: I can't see one of the Nami villagers just giving up the location of the man working on building their salvation to a random stranger without needing a great deal of convincing in the process, even -or perhaps especially- with their hitai-ate visible.
Other then that, spotted a few minor spelling issues, primarily with homophones such as "here and hear" or "there and they're" etc.
My first concern from this chapter is that when they set camp for the night, they all went to sleep without any mention of them setting up any precautions, such as Naruto setting up a roving guard of Kage Bunshin or settling into a rotating guard schedule. They may still be in Fire Country territory, but I fail to believe any military unit would be so careless while in the field.
The second is actual from the last chapter: I was under the distinct impression, from what we were shown of Kiba and the rare sightings of his mother and sister in canon, that an Inuzuka was never without their ninken partners at their side, especially when going into a combat situation. So why would Hana purposely leave hers behind for something as utterly mundane as "watching over the injured animals"? They would have been especially helpful while fighting the two Iwa-nin, even if she eventually defeated them herself.
Concern number three: I can't see one of the Nami villagers just giving up the location of the man working on building their salvation to a random stranger without needing a great deal of convincing in the process, even -or perhaps especially- with their hitai-ate visible.
Other then that, spotted a few minor spelling issues, primarily with homophones such as "here and hear" or "there and they're" etc.
11/2/2014 c1 KyoudaiDoushi
As of yet, the only flaw I've seen is the fact that Naruto told Anko at their first meeting that he was already a Genin when he was clearly still an Academy student at that time.
As of yet, the only flaw I've seen is the fact that Naruto told Anko at their first meeting that he was already a Genin when he was clearly still an Academy student at that time.
12/16/2012 c15 sierra
I am so into this frantic, it keep my full attention. Keep up the good work
I am so into this frantic, it keep my full attention. Keep up the good work
5/4/2011 c15 4webtail
I love this story! I know it is unlikely but I really hope that BloodySeraphim will keep writing
4webtailI love this story! I know it is unlikely but I really hope that BloodySeraphim will keep writing
12/14/2009 c1 Mes-012
Though the idea of the story is nice, this chapter was a bit dull, but only because of the massive training and introductions. Pretty sure it'll pick up in the later chapters. The only other iffy thing about this would be the power levels.
For Anko and Kurenai, are you saying that, with kage bushin, their individual levels are each at 10, or that if they both had kage bushin and worked together, then their combined power level is 10?
Although if its either, the thing still doesn't make sense, since the Sandaime is only at 600, and even the Yondaime, whom you called the greatest ninja to appear in the EC, is only at 800. Kurenai + Anko + KB Yondaime or Sandaime ?
Though the idea of the story is nice, this chapter was a bit dull, but only because of the massive training and introductions. Pretty sure it'll pick up in the later chapters. The only other iffy thing about this would be the power levels.
For Anko and Kurenai, are you saying that, with kage bushin, their individual levels are each at 10, or that if they both had kage bushin and worked together, then their combined power level is 10?
Although if its either, the thing still doesn't make sense, since the Sandaime is only at 600, and even the Yondaime, whom you called the greatest ninja to appear in the EC, is only at 800. Kurenai + Anko + KB Yondaime or Sandaime ?
10/3/2009 c2 Dethroned King Umbros
Just to be clear, it should be Yamata no Orochi, not Hachibi no Hachimata, for the Eight Tailed Bijuu. That just translates to "Eight Tailed, Eight Forked." At least the Yamata no Orochi translated to "Eight-Forked Serpent." Also, Hachimata is a bad reading of the word "Yamata".
Beyond you using the houkou and hachimata, this is a real nicely done fic.
Just to be clear, it should be Yamata no Orochi, not Hachibi no Hachimata, for the Eight Tailed Bijuu. That just translates to "Eight Tailed, Eight Forked." At least the Yamata no Orochi translated to "Eight-Forked Serpent." Also, Hachimata is a bad reading of the word "Yamata".
Beyond you using the houkou and hachimata, this is a real nicely done fic.
8/15/2009 c4 ekiller
I am loving this story it has all the the things I love about fanfiction but I do wonder if you play samurai warriors at all?
I am loving this story it has all the the things I love about fanfiction but I do wonder if you play samurai warriors at all?