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7/1/2008 c4 Antipodean
Well, seems like my concern was unnecessary, you've resolved the issue I had with the last chapter in this one.

The characters... I think you're doing a fairly good job with them so far. I particularly like the rapport between Harry and Lily that you've developed. I'm also looking forward to seeing you incorporate the less used characters you mentioned here into the story. It'll be a nice change to see Harry interacting with a wider range of people regularly instead of rare occasions.

I already suggested one of the Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws for an eventual pairing last time, and I stick by it. Maybe I'll be more specific later on if/when the story reaches that far, which I hope it does.

Look forward to seeing what you make of Hogwarts. Hopefully you'll keep things original and not just rehash what happens in canon. Keep up the good work.
7/1/2008 c4 3demented-squirrel
Thank you so much for giving Silveraegis' story a complete makeover. The plot was originally good but all of the anime/Japan crap and etcetera made it fail on principal. You've made it into an awesome story, in my opinion.

Plus, I found Harry's revelations on Ginny and incest hilarious. A lot of authors don't realize the very fact that Harry is now realizing here and it's honestly rather creepy in general. Thank you for acknowledging that fact. Please- keep it up, it's really good.

7/1/2008 c4 1kidneysrgood
good job, keep it up.
7/1/2008 c3 10Wonderbee31
Nice part here, and interesting on Ollivander's views of Dumbledore as well. Going to be curious to see what all happens with what would have been Hedwig here, and to what she and Harry might get up to later on, along with his sisters also.
7/1/2008 c3 1Lord Magis
a good story to read
6/30/2008 c3 Flying Bears
This is awesome!
6/30/2008 c3 6HeatherLB
6/30/2008 c3 wolfawaken
great chapter, I was going to type "write some more" then I thought "idiot of course the writer going to write more" So as you can see I am a fan
6/30/2008 c3 Guest
Last chapter was interesting. Bit of a twist.

Next to last paragraph was revealing.

I think you've managed to improve on the original more than a bit. This is a much more 'believable' story.

I didn't particularly like what you did to Hermione, but its believable. After seeing otherwise intelligent women do the same thing in real life. Seen a few creative retributions, too. One a which resulted in the Mayor's trip to the ER.

Note that I haven't read past book five. Probably won't, either.
6/29/2008 c3 Arden Ranger
Oh, yes. I like this /much/ better. Excellent work.
6/29/2008 c3 ROBERT-19588
Is Harry a Hogwarts Hire in then story? If Harry is an Hire I hope Hogwarts will reconise him.

if Harry a Hogwarts Hire I hope he will get access to all their volts.

I hope Harry can talk the Goblins to fight on the Light side in this world.

What all did Harry bring with him when he cam into this new world (hopefuly everything Harry had in all his volts in the old world.)?

Looking for more.
6/29/2008 c2 10Wonderbee31
Sweet second chapter there, and really liked the Harry/Lily interaction, and it's always good when Harry gets ome good points to him for a change.
6/29/2008 c3 6Kalistar
I'm amazed at how many people take this story up and yet their writing is almost as bad as the original. Fortunately, you do not fall into that category. I truly appreciate the changes you have made and they definitely improve on the concept of the story.
6/29/2008 c3 Antipodean
I've read the beginnings of some of the various variations on this story before, and I have to say that so far you've probably done the best job of recreating it. I think you've managed to remove/improve most of the material that made the original a bit silly at times.

There is one glaring problem I do see after reading this third chapter though. You alluded to part of it in your Author's note, and then in the story:

"A redhead… in bed with him… Ginny? Had he gone back to his old universe, just before the battle with Voldemort? Or slid through time and space again to another new universe? Then he wandlessly summoned his glasses and put them on, the fuzzy world snapping into crystal clarity.

Oh. It was his mother.

Wow, the fact that he'd made that particular association said more about his former love life than he cared to think about. Gross."

So you've just compared the vast similarities between his Mother and Ginny... and have deemed it to be "gross."

Then, not a few minutes after this disturbing revelation, Harry is suddenly thinking:

"This time around, though, he was going to ask Ginny out in fourth year and take her to the Yule Ball."

If you'd like further proof, from chapter two we have, in regard to Cassie, Harry's statement: "Besides, they'd grown up together thanks to the closeness of their families. She was practically his sister. Crushing on him was just… wrong."

Isn't that practically the same thing with Ginny in the Canon verse?

So, as I see it, you have a problem that needs resolving. I will freely admit, that my opinion is no doubt influenced by the fact that I dislike Ginny Weasley and the whole Harry/Ginny pairing in general, but you can't deny that there are problems as it's been written.

Personally, I hope you find a different pairing. There are a lot to choose from that don't see much light of day (especially from the Ravenclaws/Hufflepuffs).

Anyway, regardless of how you deal with this, if at all... I hope to see you progress further than other attempts have made it. Good luck with the writing.
6/29/2008 c1 Arden Ranger
"4.) Yeah, pretty much everything Japanese was removed. Not just the anime-insertion bits mentioned above, but the random bits of bowing, suffixes on names, spontaneous kimonos, etc."

Thank you, god. I hate that crap in the Harry Potter universe. It's distracting, and makes no sense as insular as the British Wizarding World is. SO many stories start out so promising, and then they bring in a bunch of anime crap.

Off to read your new and improved version of things!
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