for The Chronicles of Narnia: The Final Battle3/28/2020 c5 Guest
this is progressing well! good job!
this is progressing well! good job!
3/28/2020 c1 guest
nice work! I can tell you really like this series, but you need to continue to practice your writing skills. I love your idea but you execution is a little off. remember that when eve a new character speaks you have to start a new paragraph! happy writing!
nice work! I can tell you really like this series, but you need to continue to practice your writing skills. I love your idea but you execution is a little off. remember that when eve a new character speaks you have to start a new paragraph! happy writing!
1/27/2019 c19 Walf
Wow! Great story, plz continue!
Wow! Great story, plz continue!
3/22/2017 c19 Guest
The room, itself, does not matter. The cream walls, the gilt swirls decorating the trim around the floor, the giant solid gold bathtub sunken into the ground. We shall pay no mind to the thick, white towels hanging on the rack next to the young woman sitting on the bench near the door.
Her face, though beautiful, with large blue eyes, full lips, pale skin, dark curled hair, matters not at the moment, not, as much as the voice behind the door.
"You've been in there forever."
The girl laughed. "Five more minutes..."
"But Susan, my love, I wish to ravish you now..."
Susan felt a hot blush begin at her throat, slowly creeping to her cheeks.
"Wouldn't you rather I looked exquisitely beautiful before you lay eyes upon your new wife?"
"I'd really prefer to see you before you make yourself into something you're not. Honestly, you and your skin are all I desire..."
Susan could just see him smiling through the thin wooden barrier.
"You're making me blush."
"Is that not the point?"
"Caspian..."
"I'm only just beginning to make you blush, my love."
Susan held her breath, doing her best to continue taming her wild curls.
"The way your silken skin feels against mine, your soft curves filling my hands. Your swollen lips, red from my mouth, your eyes, blown wide with desire. Your chest, breaths, shaky and short. You, beautiful, naked to my eyes. Vulnerable, mine to protect, to love, to hold.
Your hair, darkened curls, spread cross the pillows beneath you. All this you could have, in the span of a moment, yet still, you wish to keep this door closed?"
"Yes."
"Then I shall have to take matters into my own hands."
There was silence after that.
Susan finished preparing herself, then donned a pale blue paper thin robe, which effectively covered her nakedness, before stepping over to the door.
Which just so happened to be locked.
"Caspian?"
No answer.
"Caspian... love, this isn't funny"
Susan tried the door, doing her best to not sound desperate.
In her attempts however, she failed to notice the footsteps coming towards her from behind.
Strong arms encircled her waist, warm breath tickled her ear, a voice growled in her ear.
"Looking for me?"
The room, itself, does not matter. The cream walls, the gilt swirls decorating the trim around the floor, the giant solid gold bathtub sunken into the ground. We shall pay no mind to the thick, white towels hanging on the rack next to the young woman sitting on the bench near the door.
Her face, though beautiful, with large blue eyes, full lips, pale skin, dark curled hair, matters not at the moment, not, as much as the voice behind the door.
"You've been in there forever."
The girl laughed. "Five more minutes..."
"But Susan, my love, I wish to ravish you now..."
Susan felt a hot blush begin at her throat, slowly creeping to her cheeks.
"Wouldn't you rather I looked exquisitely beautiful before you lay eyes upon your new wife?"
"I'd really prefer to see you before you make yourself into something you're not. Honestly, you and your skin are all I desire..."
Susan could just see him smiling through the thin wooden barrier.
"You're making me blush."
"Is that not the point?"
"Caspian..."
"I'm only just beginning to make you blush, my love."
Susan held her breath, doing her best to continue taming her wild curls.
"The way your silken skin feels against mine, your soft curves filling my hands. Your swollen lips, red from my mouth, your eyes, blown wide with desire. Your chest, breaths, shaky and short. You, beautiful, naked to my eyes. Vulnerable, mine to protect, to love, to hold.
Your hair, darkened curls, spread cross the pillows beneath you. All this you could have, in the span of a moment, yet still, you wish to keep this door closed?"
"Yes."
"Then I shall have to take matters into my own hands."
There was silence after that.
Susan finished preparing herself, then donned a pale blue paper thin robe, which effectively covered her nakedness, before stepping over to the door.
Which just so happened to be locked.
"Caspian?"
No answer.
"Caspian... love, this isn't funny"
Susan tried the door, doing her best to not sound desperate.
In her attempts however, she failed to notice the footsteps coming towards her from behind.
Strong arms encircled her waist, warm breath tickled her ear, a voice growled in her ear.
"Looking for me?"
3/22/2017 c19 Guest
Okay. I have tried all day to find a decent fanfic about Caspian and Susan, doing my very best to be kind with my reasonings, but this has simply put me over the edge. Have you never heard of paragraphs, or the space bar button? I know six year olds who can write better than you. Your constant use of the words, phrases, and strung together sentences with little to no amount of real intelligence or imagination, suggests how very little of a writer you are. Let me give you a good and proper rendering of a romantic scene between Caspian and Susan.
Okay. I have tried all day to find a decent fanfic about Caspian and Susan, doing my very best to be kind with my reasonings, but this has simply put me over the edge. Have you never heard of paragraphs, or the space bar button? I know six year olds who can write better than you. Your constant use of the words, phrases, and strung together sentences with little to no amount of real intelligence or imagination, suggests how very little of a writer you are. Let me give you a good and proper rendering of a romantic scene between Caspian and Susan.
7/11/2016 c10 Guest
I love it
I love it
4/3/2016 c19 meyram.Ndhf
wonderful story 3 please don't stop updating.
i loved how new charecters where introduced to us and how we got so attached to them.
please keep the good work and make us enjoy the excitement and the creativity of your imagination ;)
wonderful story 3 please don't stop updating.
i loved how new charecters where introduced to us and how we got so attached to them.
please keep the good work and make us enjoy the excitement and the creativity of your imagination ;)
4/3/2016 c12 meyram.Ndhf
why didn't they kill him rigth there and then? he was shocked and powerless. that whould save them a lot of trouble. they will regret it later.
but again the story would be less exciting if Caspian were to die now.
so far so good ;)
but i really wish for a surprise in the next chapters ... i wouldn't want the next evants to be predictable...
love it 3 keep the good work
why didn't they kill him rigth there and then? he was shocked and powerless. that whould save them a lot of trouble. they will regret it later.
but again the story would be less exciting if Caspian were to die now.
so far so good ;)
but i really wish for a surprise in the next chapters ... i wouldn't want the next evants to be predictable...
love it 3 keep the good work
3/26/2016 c2 Guest
Lol love it but didn't like the "OMG",other than that I have loved it to pieces!
Lol love it but didn't like the "OMG",other than that I have loved it to pieces!
3/26/2016 c4 OsunaGirl
What if Caspian sees Susan and thinks he is dreaming or he sees her about to be killed or sees her afar of in the woods , he could think he is having an illusion .
Also I love this story but maybe try to make the dieloug more British and less contemporary sounding. I don't think Aslan would have anyone lie, either . Sorry to sound rude or skeptical about this but I just want this to be it's full potential . I love your creative imagination !
What if Caspian sees Susan and thinks he is dreaming or he sees her about to be killed or sees her afar of in the woods , he could think he is having an illusion .
Also I love this story but maybe try to make the dieloug more British and less contemporary sounding. I don't think Aslan would have anyone lie, either . Sorry to sound rude or skeptical about this but I just want this to be it's full potential . I love your creative imagination !
5/27/2014 c19 Narnia Fan
This if the first Narnia fan fiction I have read and I love it! Please write some more!
This if the first Narnia fan fiction I have read and I love it! Please write some more!
1/1/2014 c19 ia
Hey, I know it has been years since you have written this fanfic, but it is really good. Just wondering how it was supposed to end. Does Susan stay with Caspian? Is Isabella really dead? Thank you and again, this is really good.
Hey, I know it has been years since you have written this fanfic, but it is really good. Just wondering how it was supposed to end. Does Susan stay with Caspian? Is Isabella really dead? Thank you and again, this is really good.
12/19/2013 c19 Nenee
Please go oooon ! I just found this and i love it!
Please go oooon ! I just found this and i love it!
12/8/2013 c19 Ilana Lurie
OH MY GOD! i Love love stories u have got to continue! ️
OH MY GOD! i Love love stories u have got to continue! ️