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for Legacy of the Light Hawk

interesting story i hope you complete
7/7/2008 c1 Knives91
Well this is new, and most promising! Can't wait to see how it goes.

Good stuff. Keep at it!
7/7/2008 c1 2King of Darkness
Nice one Chrisdz. Looking forward to seeing what kind of mayhem Seina will bring to the elemental countries.
7/7/2008 c1 1Akira Stridder
7/7/2008 c1 27The Lord Of Pages
Ah nice dood just don't censer the lemons kay?
7/7/2008 c1 2chaosthesith89
Just like the rest of your stories, very awesome. Naruto, plus the power of Jurai? I feel bad for any of his enemies? So, is he gonna meet the whole group from Earth, or just a select few? What about the Ultimate Goddesses, the Chousin, if memory serves me right? Well, good luck, and please keep updating this ASAP.
7/7/2008 c1 4the DragonBard
This is a very interesting fic, but it has several errors in it. Most of these errors are based in fanon, so I can easily tell where they came from. I'll try to explain things.

Tsunami is 'not' the Goddess of Jurai. The relationship between Tsunami and Jurai is more to the point of her being their patron, and the source of their power. A business arrangement if you will. They respect her, but do not worship her. This is something that has long irritated Airi's family.

Airi's home world is a theocracy, which worships the 'Supreme Lights.' They believe (correctly) that Tsunami might be one of these 'Supreme Lights,' and are irritated both by the Jurain's irreverance to a goddess, but also the fact that the Jurai monopolise her. BTW: The religion was founded by Airi's grandfather or great-grandfather, and the current leader is her father (or he was 700 years ago.)

Jurains have no bloodline limit, not even the royal family. All the powers Jurains have (Tenchi is the only exception) come from their Trees, or from martial arts and ESPer training, as well as body enhancements. Aeka's power to create force fields is because of her Key, which allowed her to channel some of Ryu-Oh's energy. She was able to still use it because the Key had some of the Tree's power, being a part of it. Yosho did the same thing using the Master Key.

There are three branches to the Royal Family. Clan Masaki is just one of them. Check the website of Astronerdboy for info on the other two clans in the royal family. His site has almost all the info you could want.

Naruto acts OOC in a number of places. He's speaking too formally, and should use more contractions in his sentences. He killed Mizuki way too easily I believe. It was too cold blooded for the way Naruto usually is.

These errors are all minor, and can easily be corrected. I hope that this doesn't discurrage you, and that you continue with this fic.

Hope to see more of it soon.
7/7/2008 c1 dragon-cloud16
Poor, poor Naruto. Lady Seto is going to have a field day with trying to get him on a blind date. Not to mention Washu trying to turn everybody with a bloodline into one of her guinea pigs. Although it would be funny to see her chase after Kakashi to run painful experiments on him. That and maybe see what is under his mask. But now Jurai has four heirs to choose from. I wonder how many girls Naruto's going to be engaged to. Maybe Sasami and some girls from the elemental countries. The idea has been done before but the story was never finished.
7/7/2008 c1 8KageNoSigna
Wow the great Chris is making a naruto tenchi fanfic...did you get this idea from my fanfic by any chance because it's not every day you see naruto tenchi crossover
7/7/2008 c1 Darksnider05
Weird but yeah good luck writing this I mean seriously thats gonna be a hard story to write un, hope you find some inspiration of some sort it would be good if you did considering this could be really good.
7/7/2008 c1 RyumaOmega
Great job as always Chrisdz! A nice twist with a member of Yosho's family being stranded on the Naruto planet and masquerading as Kushina Uzumaki, along with the destruction of the Kyuubi by the power of Tsunami and the Light Hawk Wings. It seems that Naruto is like Tenchi in that he is also blessed by Tsunami to use the Light Hawk Wings since almost no Jurian who has access to their Jurian powers can even summon the Light Hawk Wings and only the Trees of Jurai are able to produce them. At first I had some doubts on Kyuubi's destruction since it was a powerful demon/spirit that can easily destroy the surrounding lands with ease and could probably destroy the world if it wasn't worried about it's own existence, but Tsunami is a goddess who has access to the full ten Wings of the Light Hawk and Kyuubi did lose half of it's power with the destruction of it's body so it wasn't impossible. However, I have several questions. How many of the Light Hawk Wings was Tsunami able to summon through Naruto to destroy? Three? Five? Or more? Who are the girls who will be paired off with Naruto in this fic? Will one of the girls be Hinata? Fem. Haku? Ten Ten? Will Azusa or Yosho arrange a Jurian royal female (Sasami or some other Jurain) to be engaged to Naruto? How will the Akatsuki react to the destruction of Kyuubi? Does Naruto use his Jurain power to empower the jutsus he knows? Or does he mix his Jurain power with his mental energy in order to create chakra to activate his jutsu? If you can answer these questions I would appreciate it. If you are not able to answer some of these questions because it could ruin the story, then please a new chapter as quickly as you can so I may know what happens next in the fic. This story is just as good and exciting as your other fics. Please update soon!
7/7/2008 c1 CrystalCipher
I like it!:D sorry i cant come with any help since im in no way a writer hehe.

and im a big fan of your work keep it up :D
7/7/2008 c1 27kopakanuvafan20
This is an interesting crossover. I can't wait to see what everyone's reactions when they find out Kyubi was never sealed in Naruto and he's royalty.
7/7/2008 c1 Kyubi san
YO i like the story and cant wait for the next part.
7/7/2008 c1 SS-ICE-FANG
I cannot wait to see more. I hope this turns out to be just as good as the rest of your works.

Hope to see more soon.

Good luck!
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