for Memories9/24/2011 c1 
1alise45647
I like it. I hope ur making more of this, I was making something like this myself but with out the voice and such
1alise45647I like it. I hope ur making more of this, I was making something like this myself but with out the voice and such
11/6/2008 c1 21Janika
Hmm, well it's hard to say much about such a short piece, but I think I like your style. It does need some work and a little more info on the background (what stage of the games are we in? what recently happened?), as well as a location. Are they by the seaside or desert or some random forest that popped up out of nowhere?
As for the story itself, you immediately start off w/ a mystery. Not only what the place is and why there's a freaky woman still hanging around, but why the two guys feel so nervous. They've seen destruction and ruins before, but for some reason these are different.
I'll wager the lady is Daxter's mother. Who else would welcome him "home"? Of course, I still wonder what happened to Jak's mother, but maybe this lady knows.
Oh, and thanks for putting my story on your alert-list! Always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Review if you can so I can pick up tips or just see your opinion on my polls. I'll keep reading this one!
21JanikaHmm, well it's hard to say much about such a short piece, but I think I like your style. It does need some work and a little more info on the background (what stage of the games are we in? what recently happened?), as well as a location. Are they by the seaside or desert or some random forest that popped up out of nowhere?
As for the story itself, you immediately start off w/ a mystery. Not only what the place is and why there's a freaky woman still hanging around, but why the two guys feel so nervous. They've seen destruction and ruins before, but for some reason these are different.
I'll wager the lady is Daxter's mother. Who else would welcome him "home"? Of course, I still wonder what happened to Jak's mother, but maybe this lady knows.
Oh, and thanks for putting my story on your alert-list! Always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Review if you can so I can pick up tips or just see your opinion on my polls. I'll keep reading this one!