for Digimon Adventure: Dark Times Emerge7/27/2008 c2 
9SugarSpiral
Heya again :)
I'm really proud you want my opinion, you sure know how to make someone feel special.
Ok.
It's not bad, though it's very very long... this must have taken ages to write!
You've paid good attention to little details, but maybe you should just concentrate on one or two?
Also, as many of your paragraphs are very long, you should try breaking this chapter up into many chapters, as otherwise it is almost too long...
These are just ideas, you don't need to pay any attention to me.
And btw, I'd quite like you to check out my forum- we've only got Digimon authors atm (hoping to expand) and we really need some help getting started! The url is on my profile. If you're interested.
9SugarSpiralHeya again :)
I'm really proud you want my opinion, you sure know how to make someone feel special.
Ok.
It's not bad, though it's very very long... this must have taken ages to write!
You've paid good attention to little details, but maybe you should just concentrate on one or two?
Also, as many of your paragraphs are very long, you should try breaking this chapter up into many chapters, as otherwise it is almost too long...
These are just ideas, you don't need to pay any attention to me.
And btw, I'd quite like you to check out my forum- we've only got Digimon authors atm (hoping to expand) and we really need some help getting started! The url is on my profile. If you're interested.
7/17/2008 c1 9SugarSpiral
Nice summary of the first series :)
Way to build the suspense... more please!
9SugarSpiralNice summary of the first series :)
Way to build the suspense... more please!