for Ruby, Sapphire & Emerald7/26/2009 c19 Sage Strike2
cool. i read all 19 chapters in like 45 minutes and it was good.update this thing again.
cool. i read all 19 chapters in like 45 minutes and it was good.update this thing again.
11/8/2008 c12 
13IwaKitsune
WOW this is just awesome!
And for me Wally is a little out of character (Inner: DAMN HE IS A PSYCOPATH!) Shut it inner!
But the characters don't necesary need to be in character since it is Fan fiction =3
Well So far it is really good, I will wait for the next chapter :D
O and this is just out of boredom but, if you need some OCs (Original Characters) then I can help you with that =3
Good luck in the next part ;p
13IwaKitsuneWOW this is just awesome!
And for me Wally is a little out of character (Inner: DAMN HE IS A PSYCOPATH!) Shut it inner!
But the characters don't necesary need to be in character since it is Fan fiction =3
Well So far it is really good, I will wait for the next chapter :D
O and this is just out of boredom but, if you need some OCs (Original Characters) then I can help you with that =3
Good luck in the next part ;p
9/19/2008 c3 12Ionuneos
I really like the concept of the story, but...I'm sorry. The grammar mistakes just off-put me from it. If you ever get around to cleaning it up a bit, if I could be rather rude and ask, please PM me, and I'd love to read it again.
12IonuneosI really like the concept of the story, but...I'm sorry. The grammar mistakes just off-put me from it. If you ever get around to cleaning it up a bit, if I could be rather rude and ask, please PM me, and I'd love to read it again.
8/28/2008 c4 Jarkes
Bizarre...
Bizarre...
8/28/2008 c1 Jarkes
OOC indeed...
OOC indeed...
8/23/2008 c3 2midori ringo-chyaan
cool match! can't wait for more. (No you think it's horrible) SHUT UP! I THINK IT'S GOOD! (Fine then it could be a little longer) I hate it when my inner's right.
2midori ringo-chyaancool match! can't wait for more. (No you think it's horrible) SHUT UP! I THINK IT'S GOOD! (Fine then it could be a little longer) I hate it when my inner's right.
8/23/2008 c2 midori ringo-chyaan
"Aww, but she's adorable." I think May's kind of hysterically evil!
It's funny... I think there should be a MayXBrendan pairing (I LOVE THAT PAIRING SINCE LIKE FOREVER!) *Smacks myself* Sorry that was my inner... Seriously I DO have one. If i could prove it to you i would.
"Aww, but she's adorable." I think May's kind of hysterically evil!
It's funny... I think there should be a MayXBrendan pairing (I LOVE THAT PAIRING SINCE LIKE FOREVER!) *Smacks myself* Sorry that was my inner... Seriously I DO have one. If i could prove it to you i would.
8/23/2008 c1 midori ringo-chyaan
It's OK but seriously his name is BRENDAN! other than that! It's cute!^^
It's OK but seriously his name is BRENDAN! other than that! It's cute!^^
8/9/2008 c1 Optimatum
Lots of Epic Phail here.
Don't use this:
"Mom: HEY BRENDAN!"
That's looked down upon in hardcore reality.
"Instantaneously, Mom shouted out, "Brendan! COME BACK THIS INSTANT!"
That looks alot better. That, and all your characters are OOC (Out-Of-Character) excluding Brandon, whose name is BRENDAN. Brandon is the Pyramid King, for pete's sake. May needs to be a little hostile. After all, if you're fixing the ceiling and all of a sudden a stranger comes in and touches your things, you'd be very hostile towards him. Especially when you drop on him.
Lots of Epic Phail here.
Don't use this:
"Mom: HEY BRENDAN!"
That's looked down upon in hardcore reality.
"Instantaneously, Mom shouted out, "Brendan! COME BACK THIS INSTANT!"
That looks alot better. That, and all your characters are OOC (Out-Of-Character) excluding Brandon, whose name is BRENDAN. Brandon is the Pyramid King, for pete's sake. May needs to be a little hostile. After all, if you're fixing the ceiling and all of a sudden a stranger comes in and touches your things, you'd be very hostile towards him. Especially when you drop on him.