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12/17/2010 c8 2brightcat12
update soooooooon
9/6/2010 c2 5ejkQMaO8921635
Clark Kent? Really?
8/27/2010 c8 7Sorakage Sama
Boy, once again you pulled out an interesting chapter. And Lauren certainly seems confident in her abilities. Supposed 12th level intellect indeed. But then again you know what they say, "Pride comes before the fall."

Ja ne

Sorakage Sama

P.S. Don't let the Grammar Nazis get you down. The lot of the couldn't see the forests for the trees if branches started whacking them in the face.
8/24/2010 c1 2What a B1tch
Your grammar needs help.

Much, much help.

"Prolog?" What the h/ell?

I suggest you get a beta reader. This story has been reported for terrible grammar.

Have a nice day!

-Lover of Gone
8/24/2010 c2 61Night of the Living Monkey
You've got to be one of two things:

A) a troll who's doing this to tick off the grammar Nazis

B) a complete and irredeemable idiot who knows nothing about English.

If you are the first, you've got to try harder. If you must be a troll, try being a funny one. Or a parodic one.

If you are the latter, get the hell out of this fandom. We've got more than enough of your type and and we certainly don't need someone who's as awful a writer as you are doing any more damage to TDK's reputation.

Mi enemigo, there are six, count 'em six, spelling errors is your summary alone. I don't believe you spelled any of TDK characters' names correctly. In your actual fic, I think the number of errors correlates to the number of stars in the Milky Way galaxy. Your random capitalization is attrocious, your inability to use the comma is offensive, your butchering of the characters' names (and everything else) is unbearable, your misuse of words astounds even me and I have seen grammar nightmares, and it's obvious that you have no idea what you're doing on any level. I don't think there's a Beta-reader alive who could save this story.

Here is the best advice I can offer you: Bruce Wayne is spelled like this, Harvey Dent like this, Rachel Dawes like this, Joker like this, and Metropolis like this. But don't worry about that. Before you ever try to write another Batman fic, learn how to write anything at all. Have the goddamn decency to get a spell check. THIS pile of rubbish is supposed to be an edited, repaired version of your story? Dios mio, what did the original look like? Did you just bang your fists on the keyboard like a monkey and publish the random vomit that resulted?

Start paying attention in your classes, read a book or two so you can see what writing ought to look like, and don't bring crap like this around. I will not show mercy for someone who so blatantly rapes my native tongue. If you can't do anything as basic as spell a single-syllable name right, you have no right to be on a writing-oriented website.
1/1/2009 c6 PrInCeSS StArK101
awesome! plz rite chapter 7!
11/22/2008 c6 jen
Great story! Update please.
11/7/2008 c6 killercow89
Really gd so far it is starting to get interesting cant w8 to read more. Keep it up.
9/2/2008 c3 3FallenAngel
This story has potential but as the other reviewers have noted it needs an editor. If you'd like a beta, I'd be happy to volunteer!
8/15/2008 c3 1anatomy of kisses
Hey there! I agree with the last reviewer. Your story has potential and an interesting premise. However, your spelling, grammar and punctuation leave a lot to be desired. Your summary alone has several misspellings (examples: "Dos" for "Dawes", "Matropoles" instead of "Metropolis", 'Wayn" for "Wayne") and it is mostly made up of sentence fragments instead of actual sentences. Most people won't click to read a story if there are so many mistakes in the summary. Try revising your summary, and getting a beta-reader. They can really help! Anyways, good luck with your story.
8/15/2008 c3 5Kaydon
Okay, first your plot is interesting and has potential. Your summary is horrible. Second, Misspellings and in complete sentences in the summary turn people off to the story before they've even opened it. I suggest you plug your whole summary into an editing program, than copy and paste that into the summary field. You'll get a lot more readers that way. Third, I think you need to have your work beta-read. The story itself is much like the summary-full of incomplete and fragmented sentences, or confusing/ grammatically incorrect sentences. (ex. "Lora suddenly Lora jumped up in her seat.")

If you follow these tips, I'm positive your work will greatly increase in entertainment value, and with it, your number of readers.

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