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for Vampire Adept: Rewrite

4/22/2016 c4 Taiyou Ryuu
To be honest, this reads as if it was a sequel to something rather than a tale all its own barring the spelling and grammar errors. Also if Tylendel does die like canon, then things will get really confusing.
4/15/2016 c4 Netchka
Looking forward to reading chapter 5 and on. Hoping they come soonish.
4/28/2013 c4 Mashkai30
Lovely story! I like it thus far and am looking forward to more. Thanks for sharing!
4/8/2013 c4 Guest
I would like u to continue this story
8/11/2012 c4 E
Hello, this is very good despite the inconsistencies, time jumps, and little to no details about anything of meaning. Are you planning to continue it? If so, I would enjoy reading it in future.

Eternally Yours,
E
3/5/2012 c4 1Kelvrin
Savils Students are Mardic and Donnie. Awesome story so far keep up the good work. :)
3/8/2010 c4 Changechild
Oh God this is just getting really cool!, where's the next chapter?
10/29/2009 c4 sephrina
I have most of her books for this series there names are Tylendel(Vanyel's life bonded),the life bonded are Mardic and Donni. If you need any more info please just ask.

I realy like this storyand would like to see where it will go.

Love & Light

Sephrina
7/18/2009 c4 1astrakage
I really like this story so far. I also liked the one you rewrote into this one. Are you willing to consider continuing both? I think that both stories flow very well and look forward to any updates to any of your stories.
7/1/2009 c4 1CleverBast
this is very fun and i can't wait until the next ch. the names are mardic and donni those are her only students other than 'lyndal please let him live?
1/18/2009 c4 10Apocalyptical
This is a very interesting take on the Harry Potter/Stargate/Valdemar crossover. However, I'm not seeing much relation to Valdemar at the moment-your first attempt was much better at this.

In addition, this story is tending to jump all over the darn place, and without reading the original version first I have no idea what's going on. Even without reading the original, this story tends to be confusing in places. May I suggest you at least mention how much time is passing between chapters, even if its through a 'X years later, Stefan...'

I suggest you refer to Stefan as Stefan, and not Harry throughout the narrative bits, such as '...Harry told X...'. He's not Harry anymore, he's not referring to himself as Harry anymore, so stop calling him Harry!

Last but not least, your characters seem flat, besides Stefan, of course. May I suggest that you try to flesh out your characters more, no matter how minor they are? In addition, I'd like to suggest a longer scene involving Justyn and Stefan and their first meeting. Even if they are mates, there's no such thing as love at first sight, and Justyn should show at least a little hesitation about randomly jumping into bed with some powerful stranger, or perhaps exhibit lust that eventually turns into love? And try to add some more on Garion: how did he appear? Is he adopted? If not, who gave birth to him?

I suggest you take this rewrite, trash it, and meld it in with the original. This version has some good parts, and the original also has some good parts. If you mesh the two together in some cohesive form, add some more stuff to flesh it out and change it a bit, then you'll be good to go. :)

I can't wait to see where this goes.
1/14/2009 c4 autumnannette19
Whats next, whats next?
11/23/2008 c4 Anhk d'Aiath
I've enjoyed reading this are there going to be more crossovers?
10/20/2008 c4 2Kalissa
I love what you're doing with this story though I'd like a bit more background and details on Harry's new world. (i'm only passably familiar with the series)

If you're having trouble getting to a local library or a bookstore try downloading e-books or going to information sites (wikipwdia for general things and fandom specific ones for everything else)

^.^

Hope to read more of your works

Kalissa
10/19/2008 c4 1Neqs
Hi, cool fic! I love Valdemar and this is one of the best HP/Valdemar crossovers I've read.

As for your info request, the lifebonded students are Mardic and Donni - had to check the book! I'm really sorry you lost your copies.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
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