
10/1/2008 c1
7AsalieDWrite
love the start. The spelling...well...whatever...mine looks like that sometimes too so...
update soon.

love the start. The spelling...well...whatever...mine looks like that sometimes too so...
update soon.
9/18/2008 c1
15Eovin
The story is not bad and has a potential,but it is slightly rashed.Your spelling however is...bad.Here is the right variant:
Saskue=Sasuke;Hokagua=Hokage;Huegu=Hyuuga;Kibuia=Kyuubi;Kibuia no kitsew=Kyuubi no kitsune;Ramie=ramen;Nizamikes=Namikaze;
Moito=Minato;Jewtishis=Jutsus;Heroine Jewtishi=Hirashin no jutsu;Reshingun=Rasengan.
Waiting for your next update:)

The story is not bad and has a potential,but it is slightly rashed.Your spelling however is...bad.Here is the right variant:
Saskue=Sasuke;Hokagua=Hokage;Huegu=Hyuuga;Kibuia=Kyuubi;Kibuia no kitsew=Kyuubi no kitsune;Ramie=ramen;Nizamikes=Namikaze;
Moito=Minato;Jewtishis=Jutsus;Heroine Jewtishi=Hirashin no jutsu;Reshingun=Rasengan.
Waiting for your next update:)
8/31/2008 c1 rewiever
There are alot of mistakes in spelling and grammer. That makes it very hard to read the story. Also I think your moving to fast. You also have to explain some stuff so the readers know what you are talking about. Like about the bloodline. You mispelled some of the major names: heres a list with the right spelling.
Saskue = Sasuke
Hokagua = Hokage
Huegu = Hyuuga?
Kibuia = kyuubi
Kitsew = Kitsune
Nizamikes = Namikaze
Jewtishis = Jutsus?
Reshingun = Rasengan
I liked your story and i hope you will continue it. Maybe you should get a beta.
There are alot of mistakes in spelling and grammer. That makes it very hard to read the story. Also I think your moving to fast. You also have to explain some stuff so the readers know what you are talking about. Like about the bloodline. You mispelled some of the major names: heres a list with the right spelling.
Saskue = Sasuke
Hokagua = Hokage
Huegu = Hyuuga?
Kibuia = kyuubi
Kitsew = Kitsune
Nizamikes = Namikaze
Jewtishis = Jutsus?
Reshingun = Rasengan
I liked your story and i hope you will continue it. Maybe you should get a beta.