for Yet Another Move to Forks1/3/2011 c3 FlyingHigh13
Wow, I haven't read a Twilight fanfic in months... Too caught up with my yaoi (or slash if you prefer) XD
But that's beside the point.
The point is that this story was just so... Ehhhnnngggghh. And yes, that is an adjective. At least, in my dictionary. I mean, it wasn't bad. No, definitely not bad. It was no TWILA THE GURL WHO WAZ IN LUV WIF A VAMPIR or anything. Far from it. But it wasn't particularly good either.
It was almost completely dominated by dialogue, which is something that annoys me to no end. Also, what little description there was was so boring that it had me fighting to stay awake. Your grammar and spelling were good, though, which was refreshing to me. But, good writing isn't made up of just grammar and spelling abilities. One has to be able to convey what they are trying to get across, but in a way that is not only detailed, but interesting as well.
I won't call you out on the self-insert, because I've done that too. We all have. No need to be ashamed of it. It is fun, I know. But self-inserts are dangerous territory for fanfic writers. They will most likely crash and burn, but a few can be good. Please make yours one of the few good ones, for the sake of fanfic writers everywhere.
Thank you for reading my overly-long review.
Wow, I haven't read a Twilight fanfic in months... Too caught up with my yaoi (or slash if you prefer) XD
But that's beside the point.
The point is that this story was just so... Ehhhnnngggghh. And yes, that is an adjective. At least, in my dictionary. I mean, it wasn't bad. No, definitely not bad. It was no TWILA THE GURL WHO WAZ IN LUV WIF A VAMPIR or anything. Far from it. But it wasn't particularly good either.
It was almost completely dominated by dialogue, which is something that annoys me to no end. Also, what little description there was was so boring that it had me fighting to stay awake. Your grammar and spelling were good, though, which was refreshing to me. But, good writing isn't made up of just grammar and spelling abilities. One has to be able to convey what they are trying to get across, but in a way that is not only detailed, but interesting as well.
I won't call you out on the self-insert, because I've done that too. We all have. No need to be ashamed of it. It is fun, I know. But self-inserts are dangerous territory for fanfic writers. They will most likely crash and burn, but a few can be good. Please make yours one of the few good ones, for the sake of fanfic writers everywhere.
Thank you for reading my overly-long review.
2/8/2009 c2 ayapark
love to story keep writing, o0o i love the main charters name you know how to spell tori right lol
love to story keep writing, o0o i love the main charters name you know how to spell tori right lol
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