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11/16/2018 c3 Kingkong101
Lame
6/23/2017 c4 Guest
I hope you will update this story someday
10/21/2016 c4 79YeagerMeister31
another cool story
10/20/2016 c3 YeagerMeister31
this was a nice chapter
10/20/2016 c2 YeagerMeister31
this was cool can't wait for more
10/19/2016 c1 YeagerMeister31
a nice first chapter can't wait for more Ino on team 7 aye
9/16/2014 c3 Rongis
Fuck you
4/20/2013 c2 Guest
I didn't know the rookie of the year got the black hit ate, I thought Sasuke asked for histo be black cuz' he's emo... :( Also, I like how you made Sasuke not completely power hungry and have him and Naruto friends. :)
1/27/2013 c4 StaRArm
UPDATE
7/17/2012 c4 R00T'S Sai
Good story
10/29/2011 c2 Udlyssian
4 words

How old are you?

I am holding myself from flaming you by pure willpower and its fading fast.

I stop here to protect my brain from illogical reasoning I found (just in case if it's pandemic)

example(one of many i found):

/Quote

Naruto was running as fast as he could. He didn't want them to see his tears. He didn't want them to see him hurt so easily. "kit." He heard someone and spun around to see who it was but no one was around him. "kit" He heard it again. "I must be dreaming. No one is around me and I'm voices. I'm going crazy." "You're not going crazy. I'm the Kyuubi you brat."

"The Kyuubi?" Then that means I'm going to be super strong right?" He was jumping for joy and forgot about what happened not 2 minutes ago. "Yes I'll train you but on one condition." "What's the condition?" He was jumping because of anticipation. "The condition is that you eat ramen at least once a day and I'll train you to be powerful" Naruto nodded and they began their training straight after.

/end quote

1. He hears a voice in his mind it tells him its "The bloodthirsty demon beast" that people fear;

2. He's the number one person he most likely imagine when he thinks of mauling someones had of his shoulders

3. He got emo the first 3 lines in ch.1 ( Images of him sitting in a tub filled with cold water while he slashes his wrists)

and all things considered he comes with the conclusion: " Then that means I'm going to be super strong right?"

WTF were you smoking are you brain dead.

OK then lets look at this from another perspective and say that really happens do you think people will allow their terror weapon to take off just like that so he can be killed or worse take by another hidden village. He would have a Black OPS at all times so he is going nowhere.

Conclusion: Putting this gently this sucks BIG time

I have a no drop policy on FFs and there are only few exceptions that can make me do this (sadly it happened in this case)

If you plan to write pay attention to what rating you give your fiction T-rated

T=Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

What I rate your fiction (tho i wont recommend it to anyone) is K

K=Intended for general audience 5 years and older. Content should be free of any coarse language, violence, and adult themes.

My point is get a life. learn how the world works from what I noticed you have no real life experience and no sense in what you write, it may sound good when you read it yourself but what you may not understand is that a good author can relay 80-90% of what he can picture happening in his mind while having a fluent and believable narration/portraying. People like to read believable fiction and usually it starts with someone we can relate to not someone OMFG character ( He can be cool but not "emo" or "emo" like for lack of a better term ) he an be strong but have a soft spot for "sth" or he can be completely opposite, he can be dumb, smart, short, usually to extreme points and never perfect no one wants perfect he has to have a drawback of some sort or the relation to as well as the interest drops.

+ avoid the all knowing character that somehow knows all that happens and what everyone is thinking and he is called a genius / gets rewarded for it, that does not happen even in time travel (or better formulated is "SHOULDN'T") because with the small things changed changes the outcome of the things that will happen.

Give reasons not fairytales of why something is the way it is or skip it.

Avoid stupid scenes example: your genin exam questions, reasons they are boring make some unique questions example In the battle between - and - what were the reasons, where the confrontation took place, how many died, who won, what was the reparation penalty. One good question is way better than 5 unintelligent(to avoid using a more offencive word) ones.

Also YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FORM USING THE WORD "LEGENDARY" (for the simple reason of not knowing how or when to use it)(or i am gona give you a legendary smack down)

p.s. I know where you live

/\

^^

^^^^

Hope you learn something from this ^^^^^^ or someone finds this useful when they come in reviews to flame you.
4/11/2011 c4 6Amorphous Entity
Great fanfic, please update soon! Ja ne! ~TheFallenOne ^-^
4/6/2010 c4 3naruto no juubi
this fic was awesome so i really hope you continue so plz continue
7/23/2009 c3 John
This story is crap. I hate how they suddenly forgive one another and they start to fall in love... it seems to rush things way to quickly.
3/16/2009 c4 6deadw8
lets get a new ch now is been almost a year
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