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6/22/2020 c1 3Wahtiff
Not bad for a first fanfiction, kinda reminds me of my own, which was also for Pokémon. The paragraph spacing could’ve been just a little bit better, but that’s a minor issue. Your grammar is pretty good, most sentences seem well-structured, and you’ve got a decent word choice. I especially like how Chikorita’s introduction to the story was also part of a decision that Ash could’ve actually made in the show, so bonus points for realism.

To be honest, I feel like that’s one flaw of the entire series. The strict balance between the types is good in the games, but I think Ash is the only trainer (and one of the few people) I’ve seen who would want his Pokémon to win even at a disadvantage, training them up to be practically unstoppable- hence Chikorita fighting fire types. He uses Pikachu often against types that have an advantage over him, he even uses same-type matchups, but I feel like winning more and more against opponents using an type advantage is an obvious foothold to becoming a true Pokémon Master that the writers kept missing out on.
8/15/2017 c1 Guest
Pikachu is a dude his voice actor is a girl though
8/28/2015 c1 Holly M
Pikachu is a boy! Here's proof: in the tv show Pikachu has a flat tipped tail. According to the pokedex male pikachus have flat tipped tails whereas female pikachus have two lobes on the tips of their tails that make the tail sort of heart shaped.
4/23/2009 c6 51Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
(Overall review) This story is so cute and original! I absolutely adored Chikorita and it's a shame there aren't more fanfics about the little grass type. The Pokeshipping was very sweet, too, and had a great balance of romance and drama. Your giving Chikorita such a good role manages to separate this story from typically cliche Pokeshippy romances, making this fanfic a breath of fresh air for me.
12/20/2008 c6 Nikuke Nikki
I really loved this story. It was bittersweet in the beginning then sweet in the end. Those kinds of stories are usually my fave. Keep up the great work, I look forward to updates from you!

Nikuke Chan
4/10/2007 c6 1poka
that was a great story
1/29/2007 c3 Hannah
i've noticed this a bunch of times in your fic so fat i can tell what you mean but togepi is spelled like this not like this togepei just thought i'd point it out
10/13/2004 c6 Guest
First of all the writing in this story is brilliant. the emotions and descriptions are written perfectly and give the situations good emotion.

The style of writing and the romance between Ash and Misty get better as the story progresses, especially the last chapter and the epilogue which has a lot of romance and a nice cute ending that will please people.

But even though the writing is brilliant the plot fails. The deal with humans understanding entire pokemon speech is too far fetched, and this story tries to make pokemon act like humans too much e.g pikachu swearing and attempting to attack another pokemon. The first two chapters are nice and clean and can be passed for G rating but when chapter 3 comes up is suddenly changes to PG-13 where dangerous drinking is brought up, this rapid change in the style of the story makes it shocking and undesirable to read.

But the last chapter and epilogue finish off the story pretty well with the good backround history of the charecters and a romantic ending. Overall the atmosphere of the story is Ok with good writing, but the plot is what lets it down while trying to build up in the later chapters but doesnt pay off well.

4/10
6/5/2004 c6 Nicole
Good story! at chapter six, you could have made it R. it would have been really interesting
12/23/2003 c6 4Melchior the Mewthree
Hey there Dan! I kinda read this fic before, but didn't review it at the time. So I'm making for lost time and doing it now!
Sol: Melchior, always the punctual.
Sol, shut up, will ya?
Sol: **humphs**
Well, back to the review,the plot was great, the characters were great, though you should probably revise and replace these chappys, since there are quite some mistakes in them.
Anyway, I'll be reviewing your othe stories now.
Sol: See ya!
-Melchior-
12/21/2003 c1 jesse
"bind whip"? It's vine whip!
12/21/2003 c1 jesse
"bind whip"? It's vine whip!
10/25/2003 c2 DeityofEvil
bind whip-Vine Whip

Too Hot to handle-Pokemon Red or gold

Togapei-Togepi
7/1/2003 c6 2Ashura The Destroyer
really good story

but why don't you write an alternate ending for this story

It would open even more options like misty & co going after him and such

just to give you an idea

Bye

ATD
11/4/2002 c6 DJ
Pretty sweet fanfic! Keep it up!
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