Just In
for Empty

9/8/2008 c1 5itsjustmeoverhere
aw, im crying. poor shane, poor mitchie, POOR SHANE! this is one reason i dont like one-shots they're sad... but it was a good story
9/4/2008 c1 69Emma Is Mrs Kevin Jonas
This Is So Sad. Poor Shane. ILL COMFORT JASON. (Alice. emma, why are u out of your closet? ) emma. Funny Story.
9/2/2008 c1 205mamaXunicorn
aw that was so SAD! I hate yet love reading these types of stories. I torture myself by reading them but i can't help it! Great job!
9/1/2008 c1 32Alyssa4Music4Life
Spelled "Torres" lol and i loved it! Made me sad, tho. maybe you could add onto it
9/1/2008 c1 ForGottenThoughts93
Aw! Poor Shane, and poor Mithchie. This was cutish/sadish.
9/1/2008 c1 10Denell
Seriously, this made me cry.
9/1/2008 c1 PutYourSmileOn
really, really good!
9/1/2008 c1 21XoxMountainGirlxoX
9/1/2008 c1 35SimplyCuteBambi
Hey aww this one-shot was so sad I can't believe you killed Mitchie poor Shane how on earth is he gonna survive? I liked how you described his feelings they were very well done so this was a pretty good one-shot

xoxPeace out
9/1/2008 c1 14Stills and Photographs
Hmm. Well I wish there had been a little more set upas to how Mitchie had dies, how Shane had found out, and that sort of thing, but this was okay.

Purely aesthetically, I had a bit of a problem with how each paragrph took up less than one line. I mean, the lines breaks are your friend, but this might be considered too much of a good thing. For example:

"He looked down at her face.

It was pale.

Her lips were purple and unwelcoming, yet she looked so calm, peaceful."

Could have been combined into "He looked down at her face. It was pale, and her lips were purple and unwelcoming. But she looked so calm...peaceful." And it might have packed more of a punch, in addition to looking a bit neater.

But like I said, that's purely aesthetic commentary.

Also, you might want to re-read this or have a beta check over it, because I think you missed a word or two here and there while you were typing this.

It was an okay job, overall :D

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service