for Fall From Grace10/13/2019 c9 KOTHP5532
It's very good. Polished.
Only one complaint. Scatterspark is recognized alongside Wildquake as a willing Decepticon gladiator and general dick by Sideswipe when Jazz mentions he's in the repair bay in Chapter 7, but in the next chapter Jazz affirms he was forced to sign up. Is this is an inconsistency, or is this just a case of Jazz knowing more than Sideswipe. In the latter case, it would be easier for a reader to pick up on if Sideswipe made a comment about it in the second scene I mentioned, even if it breaks the flow a little, along the lines of: ::Scatterspark was forced to sign up?:: Sideswipe thought guiltily to his brother ... and Sunstreamer says something back, I can't think of how he'd respond, or alternately Sideswipe could speak out loud, '"Wait, Scattershot?" Now he felt a little bad about cutting him down.' Maybe it could be brought up in more detail later, like with the Seeker brothers. Just a thought.
Dang, just realized this was the first time I have any real advice to give, except for occasional spelling error, but they're rare and don't break the flow of your writing. I'm only an amateur, but I can tell that you're a proficient writer.
It's very good. Polished.
Only one complaint. Scatterspark is recognized alongside Wildquake as a willing Decepticon gladiator and general dick by Sideswipe when Jazz mentions he's in the repair bay in Chapter 7, but in the next chapter Jazz affirms he was forced to sign up. Is this is an inconsistency, or is this just a case of Jazz knowing more than Sideswipe. In the latter case, it would be easier for a reader to pick up on if Sideswipe made a comment about it in the second scene I mentioned, even if it breaks the flow a little, along the lines of: ::Scatterspark was forced to sign up?:: Sideswipe thought guiltily to his brother ... and Sunstreamer says something back, I can't think of how he'd respond, or alternately Sideswipe could speak out loud, '"Wait, Scattershot?" Now he felt a little bad about cutting him down.' Maybe it could be brought up in more detail later, like with the Seeker brothers. Just a thought.
Dang, just realized this was the first time I have any real advice to give, except for occasional spelling error, but they're rare and don't break the flow of your writing. I'm only an amateur, but I can tell that you're a proficient writer.
4/11/2013 c9 
1RagdolDark
Ýou blew my mind. I didn't expect much from this, you know, you saying "twin OOC" and "Sideswipe/OC", but... I should've. I totally should've. 'Cause this is just so good. And the feels it gave me... Ugh, I don't wanna even go there.
1RagdolDarkÝou blew my mind. I didn't expect much from this, you know, you saying "twin OOC" and "Sideswipe/OC", but... I should've. I totally should've. 'Cause this is just so good. And the feels it gave me... Ugh, I don't wanna even go there.
11/25/2010 c9 5animelover1993
This was awesome!
Though I kinda wish it was continued or had a sequel... adding more adventures and what not as they get used to being in the autobot ranks. They were after all the undefeated Gladiators in a Decepticon ring.
But other that my bout of curiosity, I definitely enjoyed reading this.
~Animelover
5animelover1993This was awesome!
Though I kinda wish it was continued or had a sequel... adding more adventures and what not as they get used to being in the autobot ranks. They were after all the undefeated Gladiators in a Decepticon ring.
But other that my bout of curiosity, I definitely enjoyed reading this.
~Animelover
8/7/2010 c1 1dead relic
I love this story so much I just keep coming back to reread it. I love the way Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are portrayed and I loved how Prowl and Jazz came into play. I don't know, it just seems overall wonderful to me and I like having it on my favorites list to come back to again and again.
1dead relicI love this story so much I just keep coming back to reread it. I love the way Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are portrayed and I loved how Prowl and Jazz came into play. I don't know, it just seems overall wonderful to me and I like having it on my favorites list to come back to again and again.
5/17/2010 c5 Ell Bee Someone Else Now
Took me this long to get around to reviewing the entire story, but despite a few spelling glitches, this tale of the brothers' evolution is well worth reading. It's one of those stories which, after reading, you say, "Of course it must have happened like that" - an original interpretation of events lightly, if at all, covered in the canon. Here, covered intelligently, and with the brothers' personalities intact. This is an excellent explication of how Sunstreaker came to be who and what he is: an artist who is also a stone killer. Sideswipe, a more sympathetic character, is shown to be molded by these events as much as was his brother. A lovely piece of work.
Took me this long to get around to reviewing the entire story, but despite a few spelling glitches, this tale of the brothers' evolution is well worth reading. It's one of those stories which, after reading, you say, "Of course it must have happened like that" - an original interpretation of events lightly, if at all, covered in the canon. Here, covered intelligently, and with the brothers' personalities intact. This is an excellent explication of how Sunstreaker came to be who and what he is: an artist who is also a stone killer. Sideswipe, a more sympathetic character, is shown to be molded by these events as much as was his brother. A lovely piece of work.
9/20/2009 c9 1Pablum
Wow. That was just so... them. I've seen fanfictions where it touches their past, but never like this before. And I'm glad that someone has finally touched on a love interest, even if it's only for one of the twins.
That was a brave move on your part, and I loved every moment of it, even the bittersweet end. I do wish you wrote more like this, but I love having this at all.
A fan,
Pablum
1PablumWow. That was just so... them. I've seen fanfictions where it touches their past, but never like this before. And I'm glad that someone has finally touched on a love interest, even if it's only for one of the twins.
That was a brave move on your part, and I loved every moment of it, even the bittersweet end. I do wish you wrote more like this, but I love having this at all.
A fan,
Pablum
7/8/2009 c9 9tomorrow4eva
Great story! Congrats on finishing it. I think you did a very good job of dealing with bad circumstances, but still keeping it light and keeping it moving. The story didn't lag or drag, but kept the characters believable even while changing them. I liked that your Sunstreaker kept some nobility despite his learned tendancies to violence. It makes his joining the Autobots make more sense.
9tomorrow4evaGreat story! Congrats on finishing it. I think you did a very good job of dealing with bad circumstances, but still keeping it light and keeping it moving. The story didn't lag or drag, but kept the characters believable even while changing them. I liked that your Sunstreaker kept some nobility despite his learned tendancies to violence. It makes his joining the Autobots make more sense.
7/4/2009 c9 6ocean's pebble
I think that this was ridiculously well written. I love the backstory you've given the twins!
6ocean's pebbleI think that this was ridiculously well written. I love the backstory you've given the twins!
6/22/2009 c9 2Saberfrost
Aw I love the ending!
The obliviousness of Sideswipe made me laugh!
Will there be more?
2SaberfrostAw I love the ending!
The obliviousness of Sideswipe made me laugh!
Will there be more?
6/22/2009 c9 4Meiza
Poor Sides...;_;
But it was funny he didn't recognize Sentinal Prime, and I liked how passionate he was about going back for Inertia, even if it was already too late.
I really enjoyed this story. Thank you. ^_^
4MeizaPoor Sides...;_;
But it was funny he didn't recognize Sentinal Prime, and I liked how passionate he was about going back for Inertia, even if it was already too late.
I really enjoyed this story. Thank you. ^_^
6/21/2009 c9 4Dark Angel Dragon
Great story. I love your rendition of the twins past and hope to be reading many more stories written by you about the exploits of my two favourite mechs!
4Dark Angel DragonGreat story. I love your rendition of the twins past and hope to be reading many more stories written by you about the exploits of my two favourite mechs!