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for A Friend's Sacrifice

10/2/2008 c1 7Woohehe
Hey!

So I really liked the idea, how it portrays the suffering of one individual who finds himself so caught up in his emotions that he forgets about others.

I had to read a couple of parts over because there were errors that prevented some of the sentences from making sense. I'd suggest you revise it again, or have someone else do it for you.

I thought it was really sweet that Harry sacrificed himself for Ron, but I thought Hermione was excessively harsh in dealing with him.

Overall, interesting and creative plot, but watch your spelling and grammatical errors - as well as typos.
10/2/2008 c1 199Red Bess Rackham
Well, your summary pulled me in. I'm going to be honest, this was quite full of grammar and punctuation problems and errors. I think you have a good idea going, but it became almost a bit difficult to read because of those issues. Also, I think your story may have been more effective if we didn't find out it was Harry who'd died until the very end of the story. Again, I like your idea, but I just think needs perhaps some polishing by a beta or something. :)

~Red

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