7/21/2010 c17 5flappy101
i decided to give u the 100 review! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

2/26/2010 c19 Paliaya
love the story cant wait to read more

6/11/2009 c19 MyLookOfDenial
So I finally read your story. =P

I started this morning and at first it was a bit of a struggle cos grammer and spelling etc really get to me and in the begining you weren't so big on it.

But after a few chapters your spelling etc.. was a bit better and it was easier to read for me.

At first I wasn't so keen on the story, I do like the general plot etc... But I dunno, it's not really my type of story. I'm really into Dramione atm, and only really Twilight 'all human' and kinda different to this stories if reading Twilight.

But I carried reading cos I like you and you faithfully read my fics and I did want to finish it.

I'm glad I carried on reading cos since the whole Lonnie buisness it's gotten so good!

I like the twist on the original Twilight story.

I also really like Lauren as a charachter and I'm glad I'm not alone in this as she has featured largely in your story so far. =D

I'm guessing when Bella bit Edward's shoulder she turned him human? Or maybe it was just generally the sex? Hm =P

I'm sorry but the first few chapters kinda put me off, I kept reading anyway cos I thougth it would get better and it did.

I think that if you maybe edited the chapters at the beginning bit, or even got a beta to do it or something you could get more people reading.

I'm just being honest cos I do think it's the first few chapters that really draw the reader in.

If you like I can go throught them for you and sort out spelling and capitalisation if you're busy or just cba =P.

As I have basically finished my exams and I want you to get more reviews and people reading!

So you just have to replace the old chapters with the slightly edited stuff.

I mean I can even beta all the chapters for you if you like.

I think your ideas are good, I just think that maybe it would help if you had someone sort out the beginning few chapters.

I don't have to do it for you I just have really come to like this story and I want you to get more reviews and resposnse cos I know you were upset bout only getting one review for this chapter.

NOW TWO! woop woop. Go me =P

So this isn't me critisicing your work at all becuase I like all the raw ideas. I just want you to get more response and I do think that some editing could help. I mean the the first chapter had so many lower case and that kinda got to me. Yeah I know it's silly but a few spelling mistakes and it can put people off a story really qick.

So if you don't have time I would be more than happy to go through them and just sort out spelling and stuff.

So this is one hell of a long review and I look forward to your update. And also talking to you via the message thingy. =D

X

5/14/2009 c18 ZumbaKlaineLVR
OMG...I so want to know what Edward made for dinner. lol. Love your story so much!

4/25/2009 c15 Bookits
This is going to be so kool!

4/22/2009 c18 brandy
love the new chapter and cant wait to read more! please update again soon!

4/10/2009 c17 3louisa.hughes
i dont want it to end! but i love it! :)