for Ice and Snow10/19/2008 c5 
5Nicole Silvers
YEA! Great job!
Yeah, he's making her day hades tomorrow. XD
Don't you juse LOVE IT! ^^
5Nicole SilversYEA! Great job!
Yeah, he's making her day hades tomorrow. XD
Don't you juse LOVE IT! ^^
10/19/2008 c5 2Stephan Cardin
Very cute. ^-^ I hope you go back to fix it whenever you have time. Personally, I can't stand having my work uncorrected for a long period of time.
Keep up the good work!
§Stephan§
2Stephan CardinVery cute. ^-^ I hope you go back to fix it whenever you have time. Personally, I can't stand having my work uncorrected for a long period of time.
Keep up the good work!
§Stephan§
10/17/2008 c4 32Melya Liz
“When I finally looked at him I noticed that he was already dressed for school.”
Good old Ryou, prompt as usual
32Melya Liz“When I finally looked at him I noticed that he was already dressed for school.”
Good old Ryou, prompt as usual
10/17/2008 c3 Melya Liz
So far I’ve really liked a lot of this story Samantha is really cute I really like her.
The only real problem I have with this is that she’s Ryou’s sister… I’m kind of picky about things like that it’s just the way I am (Ryou’s REAL sister…Amane I think… was killing in a car crash) I know you can’t really change in unless you rewrote parts but… (I mean you could have made it Ryou’s cousion or something)
Anyway it’s still cute :D and I still really like it and we met Mokuba! SQUE he’s so cute!
So far I’ve really liked a lot of this story Samantha is really cute I really like her.
The only real problem I have with this is that she’s Ryou’s sister… I’m kind of picky about things like that it’s just the way I am (Ryou’s REAL sister…Amane I think… was killing in a car crash) I know you can’t really change in unless you rewrote parts but… (I mean you could have made it Ryou’s cousion or something)
Anyway it’s still cute :D and I still really like it and we met Mokuba! SQUE he’s so cute!
10/16/2008 c4 2Stephan Cardin
Eh blissfully unaware of what?
I am tres curious!
Ah hem, anyways. Down to business!
Small grammatical error here: "...You see good dogs come when their called."
It should be they are (they're), not their. And...
To be honest, the elevator scene kind of weirded me out, it was just completely random. Also, the way Kaiba talked to her was not something I'd see him saying to someone he'd just met a few days ago(especially a female). As much as he doesn't care if a person is male or female I just can't see him calling a woman a dog unless she did something absolutely INANE to give him a reason to. The only reason he calls Joey a dog is because he's friends with Yugi and a bit slow. He knows Yuki is smart and doesn't know is she necessarily FRIENDS with Yugi so he really shouldn't have anything against her...
The only way i could see Seto Kaiba being this way is if you're going off of the hard core Japanese, green-haired, evil Kaiba. And if you are then you're doing just fine and you can ignore everything I said from before ^-^
Just to reassure you, I am NOT flaming you. I merely want to help because I have a great interest in your story and would like to help you make it AWESOME SPECTACULAR :D
I'm sorry if I've offended you and if I have, feel free to PM me and ask me not to write like this again if it really bothers you.
§Stephan§
2Stephan CardinEh blissfully unaware of what?
I am tres curious!
Ah hem, anyways. Down to business!
Small grammatical error here: "...You see good dogs come when their called."
It should be they are (they're), not their. And...
To be honest, the elevator scene kind of weirded me out, it was just completely random. Also, the way Kaiba talked to her was not something I'd see him saying to someone he'd just met a few days ago(especially a female). As much as he doesn't care if a person is male or female I just can't see him calling a woman a dog unless she did something absolutely INANE to give him a reason to. The only reason he calls Joey a dog is because he's friends with Yugi and a bit slow. He knows Yuki is smart and doesn't know is she necessarily FRIENDS with Yugi so he really shouldn't have anything against her...
The only way i could see Seto Kaiba being this way is if you're going off of the hard core Japanese, green-haired, evil Kaiba. And if you are then you're doing just fine and you can ignore everything I said from before ^-^
Just to reassure you, I am NOT flaming you. I merely want to help because I have a great interest in your story and would like to help you make it AWESOME SPECTACULAR :D
I'm sorry if I've offended you and if I have, feel free to PM me and ask me not to write like this again if it really bothers you.
§Stephan§
10/16/2008 c4 3Lehra Star
That was too funny. Kaiba needs to learn how to be nicer to his employees. I loved how she was so calm about it. That was the cherry on top. -^_^-
3Lehra StarThat was too funny. Kaiba needs to learn how to be nicer to his employees. I loved how she was so calm about it. That was the cherry on top. -^_^-
10/16/2008 c4 5Nicole Silvers
Yeah! Piss him off! XD
It's only going to make her life a living hades!
Awesome! I can't wait! I need to hurry up and finish my next one.. -_-
5Nicole SilversYeah! Piss him off! XD
It's only going to make her life a living hades!
Awesome! I can't wait! I need to hurry up and finish my next one.. -_-
10/16/2008 c4 9Time on my hands
It's always such fun to remind a man he can't always have things his way. That is until he makes it his personal mission to make you regret giving him the lesson in the first place. The obvious here would be to fire her, but that's too common for him and not as much fun as plotting to make her life miserable. He doesn't get mad, (well, yeah he does, but then) he gets even. Poor Yuki. Let the games begin! Good chapter. Looking forward to the next.
9Time on my handsIt's always such fun to remind a man he can't always have things his way. That is until he makes it his personal mission to make you regret giving him the lesson in the first place. The obvious here would be to fire her, but that's too common for him and not as much fun as plotting to make her life miserable. He doesn't get mad, (well, yeah he does, but then) he gets even. Poor Yuki. Let the games begin! Good chapter. Looking forward to the next.
10/14/2008 c3 2Stephan Cardin
I'm not gonna critique you because i think you've gotten a fair amount already (I completely agree with Element Girls posts). I think your story has great potential you just need to touch it up grammar wise!
§Stephan§
2Stephan CardinI'm not gonna critique you because i think you've gotten a fair amount already (I completely agree with Element Girls posts). I think your story has great potential you just need to touch it up grammar wise!
§Stephan§
10/14/2008 c3 leh
Great job! I loved it! Keep writing and give me a reason to wake up in the morning.!
Great job! I loved it! Keep writing and give me a reason to wake up in the morning.!
10/13/2008 c3 5Nicole Silvers
w00t! Awesome! Heh Heh.. Is it just me or do I see Seto sending Yuki off on stupid errands just to piss her off and get her to snap XD
anyway, great job! I can't wait for the next one ^^
5Nicole Silversw00t! Awesome! Heh Heh.. Is it just me or do I see Seto sending Yuki off on stupid errands just to piss her off and get her to snap XD
anyway, great job! I can't wait for the next one ^^
10/12/2008 c2 3Lehra Star
She was worried about Kaiba getting raped. I loved that. That made me fall out of my chair. Write some more soon. This is just too funny.
3Lehra StarShe was worried about Kaiba getting raped. I loved that. That made me fall out of my chair. Write some more soon. This is just too funny.
10/9/2008 c2 9Time on my hands
You've got the arrogance down pat. Rude, impatient, and expecting the world to be up to his standards, then condescending when it isn't. Why do I get the feeling he just met his match and doesn't have a clue? I'm glad you gave me the 'shameless plug'. I do like this. Looking for more. Please update soon.
9Time on my handsYou've got the arrogance down pat. Rude, impatient, and expecting the world to be up to his standards, then condescending when it isn't. Why do I get the feeling he just met his match and doesn't have a clue? I'm glad you gave me the 'shameless plug'. I do like this. Looking for more. Please update soon.
10/8/2008 c2 5Nicole Silvers
XD Yeah I thought that chick was going to rape him too!
*rolling on the floor laughing but then stops because she's thining about a hangover* That stuff SUCKS!
I would know after consuming four 10oz glasses of vodka in under an hour. Needless to say it was the first and LAST time I drank
-_-
I like this one! No wait, I LOVE it! Awesome job! I can't wait to get more from you. I actually need to get back to editing so I can get the other 130 chapters of LLTSK out before I can start writing new ones! XD
5Nicole SilversXD Yeah I thought that chick was going to rape him too!
*rolling on the floor laughing but then stops because she's thining about a hangover* That stuff SUCKS!
I would know after consuming four 10oz glasses of vodka in under an hour. Needless to say it was the first and LAST time I drank
-_-
I like this one! No wait, I LOVE it! Awesome job! I can't wait to get more from you. I actually need to get back to editing so I can get the other 130 chapters of LLTSK out before I can start writing new ones! XD