for What I Want8/24/2016 c24 Belin
Heyyy Naruka's Phoenix!
I hope you are doing well, just read this chapter and I don't even know how I managed to missed it. I wish you had more time to update frequently, but I understand that you have real life and work. I am sorry to hear about your relationship issues. I hope it is resolved by now.
I enjoyed this chapter and I like how you depicted Eclair. And it was fun reading about Hikaru and Kaoru in this alternate universe. Can't wait to see how it is going to be connected with Haruhi and Nekozawa.
Bella
Heyyy Naruka's Phoenix!
I hope you are doing well, just read this chapter and I don't even know how I managed to missed it. I wish you had more time to update frequently, but I understand that you have real life and work. I am sorry to hear about your relationship issues. I hope it is resolved by now.
I enjoyed this chapter and I like how you depicted Eclair. And it was fun reading about Hikaru and Kaoru in this alternate universe. Can't wait to see how it is going to be connected with Haruhi and Nekozawa.
Bella
17/2/2016 c24 Sasha Aquilina
Thank you dear writer for this new chapter. I was very excited to check the story out and find the 24th chapter updated.
I need to say, I do not have any problem with smutty-smitty stuff in literature, so you can elaborate on those themes. I believe romance stories without good, intimate bits are too dry.
This chapter was really interesting. I liked that you introduced so many characters we knew from Anime/manga in this chapter. I have to admit, it was really strange to read that Renge was a maid. I honestly thought she wouldn't make an appearance and if she does, she would be a snotty, arrogant aristocrat. I am glad she made into your story and I am quite amused that she is the maid Kaoru loves to run to when he is rejected by Eclair.
I could totally picture Tamaki being the innocent prince he was. I must say the part where Eclair was trying to woo him was really hilarious.
Royal Healer was tricky. I am curious how this is going to be connected with the rest of the story. I think soon there will be a clash between Neko/Haru and Ouran castle. This was really a wonderful chapter.
I would be happy to read more of your story. So keep posting and enjoy your activities!
Random Reader~~
Thank you dear writer for this new chapter. I was very excited to check the story out and find the 24th chapter updated.
I need to say, I do not have any problem with smutty-smitty stuff in literature, so you can elaborate on those themes. I believe romance stories without good, intimate bits are too dry.
This chapter was really interesting. I liked that you introduced so many characters we knew from Anime/manga in this chapter. I have to admit, it was really strange to read that Renge was a maid. I honestly thought she wouldn't make an appearance and if she does, she would be a snotty, arrogant aristocrat. I am glad she made into your story and I am quite amused that she is the maid Kaoru loves to run to when he is rejected by Eclair.
I could totally picture Tamaki being the innocent prince he was. I must say the part where Eclair was trying to woo him was really hilarious.
Royal Healer was tricky. I am curious how this is going to be connected with the rest of the story. I think soon there will be a clash between Neko/Haru and Ouran castle. This was really a wonderful chapter.
I would be happy to read more of your story. So keep posting and enjoy your activities!
Random Reader~~
7/1/2016 c24 RepeatingSimplePhrases
Thank you for updating again. Good luck with writing during your busy schedule.
Thank you for updating again. Good luck with writing during your busy schedule.
6/30/2016 c24 SnellsLaw
This was an interesting chapter. I was wondering actually how you were going to introduce the other characters. I think Tamaki's response was really in character and was sort of hilarious. So he has a bride. I wonder if we will see her, or not! I thought Hikaru was the bold one in the couple, so it's refreshing to read a story where it's the other way around and Kaoru that twin.
Looking forward to the next update.
This was an interesting chapter. I was wondering actually how you were going to introduce the other characters. I think Tamaki's response was really in character and was sort of hilarious. So he has a bride. I wonder if we will see her, or not! I thought Hikaru was the bold one in the couple, so it's refreshing to read a story where it's the other way around and Kaoru that twin.
Looking forward to the next update.
6/29/2016 c23 Belin
Looking forward to the next chapter! Good luck wihh finishing the clean up of the next chapter.
Bella
Looking forward to the next chapter! Good luck wihh finishing the clean up of the next chapter.
Bella
6/26/2016 c23 Sasha Aquilina
From my own experience I know that when you leave something for a while, it is always hard to go back and continue it. I really love your story and after the last chapter, you left us with strange dilemma. I'd love to know what happens later on, so please try to work on your next chapter sooner. It would be really appreciated. Good luck with your life and Valhalla, whatever it is ;)
Random Reader~~
From my own experience I know that when you leave something for a while, it is always hard to go back and continue it. I really love your story and after the last chapter, you left us with strange dilemma. I'd love to know what happens later on, so please try to work on your next chapter sooner. It would be really appreciated. Good luck with your life and Valhalla, whatever it is ;)
Random Reader~~
6/24/2016 c23 Belin
I hope you will find time to update the story. It would be really nice. I know you need to do your work things but hoping you will update sooner isn't a crime :/ I want to read more so much. Please get your muses back and write the next chapter.
Bella
I hope you will find time to update the story. It would be really nice. I know you need to do your work things but hoping you will update sooner isn't a crime :/ I want to read more so much. Please get your muses back and write the next chapter.
Bella
5/17/2016 c23 Sasha Aquilina
I really hope to see the new update soon. I know most people need free time for the muse to come along, but I really, really hope, you will find the time to make updates. Especially after you intrigued as like this.
Age gap has always sort of been an issue for me. I tend to be particularly vocal and passionate about it. But no worries, this story is great.
Random Reader~~
I really hope to see the new update soon. I know most people need free time for the muse to come along, but I really, really hope, you will find the time to make updates. Especially after you intrigued as like this.
Age gap has always sort of been an issue for me. I tend to be particularly vocal and passionate about it. But no worries, this story is great.
Random Reader~~
5/12/2016 c23 Belin
Yayyyyyy! I am so happy that you posted finally. Great chapter! I am sad for Haruhi's parents tho, :/ They know if she is alive or dead. They must be in horrible pain not knowing if she is suffering or is alright. Especially Ranka-san, he is always so passionate when it comes to Haru-chan. Must be hard for him. I wanted to break all the teeth in Neko-chans mouth for saying "..You never know, it could been me, keeping her warm in my bed". His nerve! If Haruhi finds out that he is being so evil to her dad, she is going to get mad with him. Will serve him right!
I was drinking tea when I read this and almost choked out all the tea all over the keyboard, when Haruhi and Neko-chan were wrestling. That was funny. He is like, you need to be like a guy. Why did you skip the walk? I would love to read about it. You know, I think, it would be so funny, if the first step was done by Haruhi, like she goes and kisses him and is like, 'Enough of this games! Bring your mouth closer I need to kiss it'.
Nekozawa is one old man! 31 is kind of old! Why didn't he get married? That is why he is so grumpy with Haruhi.
As for the names for the village- Fuyu, Natsu or Haru, or Aki.
Bella :D
Yayyyyyy! I am so happy that you posted finally. Great chapter! I am sad for Haruhi's parents tho, :/ They know if she is alive or dead. They must be in horrible pain not knowing if she is suffering or is alright. Especially Ranka-san, he is always so passionate when it comes to Haru-chan. Must be hard for him. I wanted to break all the teeth in Neko-chans mouth for saying "..You never know, it could been me, keeping her warm in my bed". His nerve! If Haruhi finds out that he is being so evil to her dad, she is going to get mad with him. Will serve him right!
I was drinking tea when I read this and almost choked out all the tea all over the keyboard, when Haruhi and Neko-chan were wrestling. That was funny. He is like, you need to be like a guy. Why did you skip the walk? I would love to read about it. You know, I think, it would be so funny, if the first step was done by Haruhi, like she goes and kisses him and is like, 'Enough of this games! Bring your mouth closer I need to kiss it'.
Nekozawa is one old man! 31 is kind of old! Why didn't he get married? That is why he is so grumpy with Haruhi.
As for the names for the village- Fuyu, Natsu or Haru, or Aki.
Bella :D
5/12/2016 c23 Sasha Aquilina
Thank you dear writer for the new chapter. Thank you Alice for letting me know about the update.
I must say I am feeling a little conflicted about their age difference; 16 year old Haruhi and 31 year old Umehito have a rather unpretty gap separating them. I feel like he is abusing Haruhi, being older and more experienced, he takes advantage of her oblivious innocence. But I assume their relationship from the beginning wasn't a very honest and clean one. I would love if you shrank his age to 25s, I mean it would still give you the 'longer, experienced life' plot thing and at the same time, have a less time separating them. I really needed to say this, as, I know many people wouldn't interpret this element in the story kindly. It is sort of creepy for 31 year old man to lust after 16 year old one. Though, as far as this age of consent laws are concerned, most countries do think 16 year old can decide for themselves if be with an older guy or not. Japan, perhaps, is slightly more liberal about this, having looser laws on the matters. However, that still was conflicting for me. In real life, I wouldn't support this kind of relationship ([Laughs] as if it would exist!).
I understand that you don't want to change the rating for the story and especially having a bit of controversial bits in the story, it would be best to avoid mature themes. I agree and completely support your decision. I do believe though that many people read more M-rated fics than all the rest combined. For different reasons, some for the 'citrus' like you said, some think m-rated fics have better quality and are more realistic as far as the romance goes. I agree and disagree. Some great writers can avoid all the steamy stuff and still write the most beautiful love story. But on this site M-rated usually has better plot and more complexity. But my point is you will still get a lot of reading and following if you decide to change the rating.
I guess, I didn't remember his name (Isao) as it wasn't a name mentioned in the anime and manga and he didn't have much 'screen time' in the first chapters. And I got caught up with main story line and forgot Isao's name. I believe the new character will be the knight Roiji wanted to hire. Looking forward to that part.
This chapter was nearly flawless except the age thing (sorry! still can't wrap my head around that one ). I didn't notice any mistakes, not grammatical, not spelling, not punctuation. Your narration is flawless and like others said already, the 'cuts' from scene to scene are perfect. You get better and better as you continue. Though, I would advise you to put more work on Haruhi and Nekozawa life bits. They seem to get going well with each other and I feel like I missed something. He teaches her magic, maybe more bits of it and their usual routine and conversations and all.
When I read a story, I usually ask myself what was the most memorable thing about the each chapter. So for this chapter (aside from the age gap) was Nekozawa's mockery. That hurt me actually. I felt his real darkness on my skin. It felt dark and overpowering. [Help me someone]
Suggestion for the village name Mura (as far as I know, it just means village in Japanese) would be funny to do it, I guess.
I like the chapter. This is where the plot is taking a twist and we start getting to the actual story. I guess, this will solve Nekozawa-Bereznov problem and will find the point to connect whatever Haruhi and he have. I am looking forward to see what role Haruhi will play in fixing this man who's gone bonkers.
I am sorry for overly long comment and I hope I didn't offend you with my long rant on the age problem. I just believe, writers deserve to know what their story makes people feel. I mean you spend time on this and that gives you no profit and if I enjoy it, I should at least tell you, thank you. Also, I tend to read reviews before starting a story. Based on them I decide to if the thing is worth my time or not. Some very great stories have a boring start and only and only through reviews I know that I should brace myself and the good will come. [laughs at herself]
Hope to hear from you soon and keep posting updates on the progression I usually check them as I have the story bookmarked. ;)
Random Reader~
Thank you dear writer for the new chapter. Thank you Alice for letting me know about the update.
I must say I am feeling a little conflicted about their age difference; 16 year old Haruhi and 31 year old Umehito have a rather unpretty gap separating them. I feel like he is abusing Haruhi, being older and more experienced, he takes advantage of her oblivious innocence. But I assume their relationship from the beginning wasn't a very honest and clean one. I would love if you shrank his age to 25s, I mean it would still give you the 'longer, experienced life' plot thing and at the same time, have a less time separating them. I really needed to say this, as, I know many people wouldn't interpret this element in the story kindly. It is sort of creepy for 31 year old man to lust after 16 year old one. Though, as far as this age of consent laws are concerned, most countries do think 16 year old can decide for themselves if be with an older guy or not. Japan, perhaps, is slightly more liberal about this, having looser laws on the matters. However, that still was conflicting for me. In real life, I wouldn't support this kind of relationship ([Laughs] as if it would exist!).
I understand that you don't want to change the rating for the story and especially having a bit of controversial bits in the story, it would be best to avoid mature themes. I agree and completely support your decision. I do believe though that many people read more M-rated fics than all the rest combined. For different reasons, some for the 'citrus' like you said, some think m-rated fics have better quality and are more realistic as far as the romance goes. I agree and disagree. Some great writers can avoid all the steamy stuff and still write the most beautiful love story. But on this site M-rated usually has better plot and more complexity. But my point is you will still get a lot of reading and following if you decide to change the rating.
I guess, I didn't remember his name (Isao) as it wasn't a name mentioned in the anime and manga and he didn't have much 'screen time' in the first chapters. And I got caught up with main story line and forgot Isao's name. I believe the new character will be the knight Roiji wanted to hire. Looking forward to that part.
This chapter was nearly flawless except the age thing (sorry! still can't wrap my head around that one ). I didn't notice any mistakes, not grammatical, not spelling, not punctuation. Your narration is flawless and like others said already, the 'cuts' from scene to scene are perfect. You get better and better as you continue. Though, I would advise you to put more work on Haruhi and Nekozawa life bits. They seem to get going well with each other and I feel like I missed something. He teaches her magic, maybe more bits of it and their usual routine and conversations and all.
When I read a story, I usually ask myself what was the most memorable thing about the each chapter. So for this chapter (aside from the age gap) was Nekozawa's mockery. That hurt me actually. I felt his real darkness on my skin. It felt dark and overpowering. [Help me someone]
Suggestion for the village name Mura (as far as I know, it just means village in Japanese) would be funny to do it, I guess.
I like the chapter. This is where the plot is taking a twist and we start getting to the actual story. I guess, this will solve Nekozawa-Bereznov problem and will find the point to connect whatever Haruhi and he have. I am looking forward to see what role Haruhi will play in fixing this man who's gone bonkers.
I am sorry for overly long comment and I hope I didn't offend you with my long rant on the age problem. I just believe, writers deserve to know what their story makes people feel. I mean you spend time on this and that gives you no profit and if I enjoy it, I should at least tell you, thank you. Also, I tend to read reviews before starting a story. Based on them I decide to if the thing is worth my time or not. Some very great stories have a boring start and only and only through reviews I know that I should brace myself and the good will come. [laughs at herself]
Hope to hear from you soon and keep posting updates on the progression I usually check them as I have the story bookmarked. ;)
Random Reader~
5/11/2016 c3 Guest
είναι μια καλή ιστορία /./././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././.
είναι μια καλή ιστορία /./././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././.
5/11/2016 c23 Alice Beckheart
Finally, we get to get to enjoy this beautiful piece of writing! This chapter would best be described as smooth. The flow of the text was smooth, the pacing was smooth, the cuts and new scene interventions were smooth. Smooth and fluid!
I found the age gap a little unsettling. I can't imagine a relationship between people of such age difference, but I know this is a fictional work and the purpose of fiction is to entertain all kinds of ideas. I suppose, we assume men in 30s are alt but very often they are actually childish in more ways than one can count.
You quiet successfully created a universe (based on Ouran characters) and now you are expanding it. I am sure you could have your own works publish, just with a bit of more work on the intervals, pauses, chapter lengths and contents, general grammar and plotting tools.
I wonder if Haruhi will do something to get to see her parents. Or will she be upset to know how Nekozawa manipulated the villagers, made Arai crazy and mocked her father's feelings when the later was still mourning the loss of his daughter. Knowing Haruhi, I think, we should wait for a major event/boom between her and Neko-sensei.
Update soon! Good luck with the rest of the things in your life!
Regards
Alice
Finally, we get to get to enjoy this beautiful piece of writing! This chapter would best be described as smooth. The flow of the text was smooth, the pacing was smooth, the cuts and new scene interventions were smooth. Smooth and fluid!
I found the age gap a little unsettling. I can't imagine a relationship between people of such age difference, but I know this is a fictional work and the purpose of fiction is to entertain all kinds of ideas. I suppose, we assume men in 30s are alt but very often they are actually childish in more ways than one can count.
You quiet successfully created a universe (based on Ouran characters) and now you are expanding it. I am sure you could have your own works publish, just with a bit of more work on the intervals, pauses, chapter lengths and contents, general grammar and plotting tools.
I wonder if Haruhi will do something to get to see her parents. Or will she be upset to know how Nekozawa manipulated the villagers, made Arai crazy and mocked her father's feelings when the later was still mourning the loss of his daughter. Knowing Haruhi, I think, we should wait for a major event/boom between her and Neko-sensei.
Update soon! Good luck with the rest of the things in your life!
Regards
Alice
5/11/2016 c23 SnellsLaw
Love the fact that Ryoji and Arai's father are planning on 'investigating' the case. After all, she just disappeared and they wouldn't easily settle down for it. I don't know why but I actually found Nekozawa's taunts amusing. It was evil in some respect and really cruel to have Ranka's daughter and behave as if he ha no idea and even make an inappropriate suggestion. But I laughed finding it actually somewhat childish. I would love to see more HaruNeko interactions. The are really funny and entertaining.
Bereznoff is growing to like Haruhi too. Great Goods!
I wonder who will be the knight they will hire to find Haruhi. Hikaru? :D
Oh, well, as for the village name maybe just Ouran :D hehe I am not very creative with names seems like :D
Waiting for the next update!
Love the fact that Ryoji and Arai's father are planning on 'investigating' the case. After all, she just disappeared and they wouldn't easily settle down for it. I don't know why but I actually found Nekozawa's taunts amusing. It was evil in some respect and really cruel to have Ranka's daughter and behave as if he ha no idea and even make an inappropriate suggestion. But I laughed finding it actually somewhat childish. I would love to see more HaruNeko interactions. The are really funny and entertaining.
Bereznoff is growing to like Haruhi too. Great Goods!
I wonder who will be the knight they will hire to find Haruhi. Hikaru? :D
Oh, well, as for the village name maybe just Ouran :D hehe I am not very creative with names seems like :D
Waiting for the next update!