for TriWorld Adventure5/15/2014 c3 Sage of Wind Dragons
ok interesting mess, its really going to be hard and interesting to see how you try and balance the world out and stuff... but Naruto reworking and learning some of the things that he need from Jiryias scrolls and stuff (cause frankly, considering how rushed the two and a half years had to have been what with being on the move often enough or hidden enough that no S class shinobi hunting them, and that Jiryia had to beat him up to hell and back to get him SO much better with the fighting... tis nice. always got the sense that fighting and skill with what he HAD was the main point, and rushed fox super charge so he could live long enough to get some other skills. plus that one time he got severely almost killed by the fox training probably made Jiryia out of the commission or a while int he rest up.)
ok interesting mess, its really going to be hard and interesting to see how you try and balance the world out and stuff... but Naruto reworking and learning some of the things that he need from Jiryias scrolls and stuff (cause frankly, considering how rushed the two and a half years had to have been what with being on the move often enough or hidden enough that no S class shinobi hunting them, and that Jiryia had to beat him up to hell and back to get him SO much better with the fighting... tis nice. always got the sense that fighting and skill with what he HAD was the main point, and rushed fox super charge so he could live long enough to get some other skills. plus that one time he got severely almost killed by the fox training probably made Jiryia out of the commission or a while int he rest up.)
3/28/2014 c3 
23Tama Saga
Ooo. An interesting chapter. My biggest concern was that there was no mention of Chao. It would've been a great chance to start the drama if you could do some foreshadowing early on. Maybe it was intentional and Chao isn't the villain this time around?
But how would we foreshadow Chao as the villain...
First of all, is Chao going to be a villain?
If so, you might want to think about whether she knows Naruto in femaie or male form.
Probably, right? Now the question is...does she know Naruto from the past or from the future? Both?
If she only knows Naruto from the future...then you can have a scene where the other girls lead Naruto over to her ("You left before she transferred in.") and he introduces himself to her. Then you can add cues depending on how well she knows Naruto. Like, if she knows Naruto well, her eyes can momentarily widen in surprise.
The reverse holds true as well. If she doesn't know him at all, she can just greet him casually.
Either way, this can set up future events.
If she knows him from the future but not the past, Naruto can have a scene in the future where he remarks that she was acting suspiciously.
If she doesn't know him at all, Chao can have a scene in the future where she's upset that someone unexpected was messing with her plans.
Then...If she knows him from the past and future, Naruto can become worried when he sees her pale upon greeting her.
Or if she knows him only in the past, it can just be an ordinary hi-yo, let's catch up, greeting.
23Tama SagaOoo. An interesting chapter. My biggest concern was that there was no mention of Chao. It would've been a great chance to start the drama if you could do some foreshadowing early on. Maybe it was intentional and Chao isn't the villain this time around?
But how would we foreshadow Chao as the villain...
First of all, is Chao going to be a villain?
If so, you might want to think about whether she knows Naruto in femaie or male form.
Probably, right? Now the question is...does she know Naruto from the past or from the future? Both?
If she only knows Naruto from the future...then you can have a scene where the other girls lead Naruto over to her ("You left before she transferred in.") and he introduces himself to her. Then you can add cues depending on how well she knows Naruto. Like, if she knows Naruto well, her eyes can momentarily widen in surprise.
The reverse holds true as well. If she doesn't know him at all, she can just greet him casually.
Either way, this can set up future events.
If she knows him from the future but not the past, Naruto can have a scene in the future where he remarks that she was acting suspiciously.
If she doesn't know him at all, Chao can have a scene in the future where she's upset that someone unexpected was messing with her plans.
Then...If she knows him from the past and future, Naruto can become worried when he sees her pale upon greeting her.
Or if she knows him only in the past, it can just be an ordinary hi-yo, let's catch up, greeting.
4/11/2009 c2 3Count Papaya
I love it! Your crossdressing twist instead of the usual Oiroke no Jutsu was a nice thing to read and the ending to chapter two was cool too. I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
3Count PapayaI love it! Your crossdressing twist instead of the usual Oiroke no Jutsu was a nice thing to read and the ending to chapter two was cool too. I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
3/15/2009 c2 3shadowzerover5
Cool fic. You have a lot of stuff to work with so I expect this story to be awesome. Update Soon
3shadowzerover5Cool fic. You have a lot of stuff to work with so I expect this story to be awesome. Update Soon
3/9/2009 c2 The Many and One
I'm really looking foreword to your story please keep up the good work.
But if you put Naruto in Negi's class, he will need to lie about his age, because what alot of people don't realize is that Negi's class is only the 2nd (and eventualy 3rd) year of middle school (8th and then 9th grade). so all the students are between 13 and 15. It would be odd if a 16 year old where in the 8th grade.
Anyways. Keep up the good work and update soon.
I'm really looking foreword to your story please keep up the good work.
But if you put Naruto in Negi's class, he will need to lie about his age, because what alot of people don't realize is that Negi's class is only the 2nd (and eventualy 3rd) year of middle school (8th and then 9th grade). so all the students are between 13 and 15. It would be odd if a 16 year old where in the 8th grade.
Anyways. Keep up the good work and update soon.
3/9/2009 c1 5Muffin-crumbs
i like negima naruto xovers, but is this a continuation of another story, people are talking and i fell like i got here 10 mins late and have no clue what is going on. or will it be explained later on?
5Muffin-crumbsi like negima naruto xovers, but is this a continuation of another story, people are talking and i fell like i got here 10 mins late and have no clue what is going on. or will it be explained later on?
3/9/2009 c2 BlueBakaNinja
lol... ok i didn't see that one coming.(I feel sorry for him) plz update really soon. PLZ.
lol... ok i didn't see that one coming.(I feel sorry for him) plz update really soon. PLZ.
2/16/2009 c1 darkside disciple
I love how this story is going, Please please please continue updating
I love how this story is going, Please please please continue updating
1/10/2009 c1 LIGHTNING THIEF
NICE! UPDATE SOON!
NICE! UPDATE SOON!