for To the Best of my Knowledge12/24/2015 c1 Guest
nooooooooo 7 years living with a cliffie... *crying*
nooooooooo 7 years living with a cliffie... *crying*
4/2/2010 c1 
17Biisaiyowaq
Oh! Beware!...of the camera dude! Sheesh, I sound like the Box Ghost...
~Biia
17BiisaiyowaqOh! Beware!...of the camera dude! Sheesh, I sound like the Box Ghost...
~Biia
12/18/2008 c1 9Addy.is.not.a.Laddy
Not an evil cliffie at all. In fact, the various reactions of the people are very predictable. Anyway, this format really isn't allowed on fanfiction. net I know, because I once got into trouble for it. Other than the deplorable amount of actual writing, it's... an okay fic.
9Addy.is.not.a.LaddyNot an evil cliffie at all. In fact, the various reactions of the people are very predictable. Anyway, this format really isn't allowed on fanfiction. net I know, because I once got into trouble for it. Other than the deplorable amount of actual writing, it's... an okay fic.
12/17/2008 c1 22Princess of Rose
This has a lot of potential- don't go abusing it, all right?
Don't know what I mean? Let me gave you some pointers.
You could have quite a good story going here if it weren't in script. I know I've published script once, but it only seems to wrok well on comedies. So, If I were you I'd change it to regular.
For example-
Instead of-
Box Ghost: BEWARE OF MY...MY..-
change it to,
"BEWARE OF MY...MY...-" The Box Ghost shouted, unable to finish his sentence.
And,
Danny: (Listening to Living Dead Girl on his MP3)What? I can't hear you! Oh, Okay, no more doom?
Changes to,
"What? I can't hear you? Oh, okay, no more doom?" Danny replied, listing to Living dead Girl on his MP3 player.
And so on.
This is only a critique, not a flame. Take my tips if you want, or ignore them, whatever you choose.
Peace,
RenesmeeScarlet
22Princess of RoseThis has a lot of potential- don't go abusing it, all right?
Don't know what I mean? Let me gave you some pointers.
You could have quite a good story going here if it weren't in script. I know I've published script once, but it only seems to wrok well on comedies. So, If I were you I'd change it to regular.
For example-
Instead of-
Box Ghost: BEWARE OF MY...MY..-
change it to,
"BEWARE OF MY...MY...-" The Box Ghost shouted, unable to finish his sentence.
And,
Danny: (Listening to Living Dead Girl on his MP3)What? I can't hear you! Oh, Okay, no more doom?
Changes to,
"What? I can't hear you? Oh, okay, no more doom?" Danny replied, listing to Living dead Girl on his MP3 player.
And so on.
This is only a critique, not a flame. Take my tips if you want, or ignore them, whatever you choose.
Peace,
RenesmeeScarlet