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for Locked Heart of Ice

5/1/2014 c2 rosanegra
bueno .me gusto mucho pero y el proximo capitulo , espero con ansias, es muy buena idea
4/29/2013 c2 Guest
seriously i love it please write next chapter
7/25/2009 c2 Icicleriver22
please update soon i want to know what happens this was such a funny chapter i mean when rukia whacked hitsugaya with a branch i started laughing really hard
5/15/2009 c2 8Seriyan

Good Lord! Can’t she be responsible for one minute!




BAD HITSUGAYA! HE NEEDS TO BE NICE TO YOU! Does he not realize that when he's in a fanfic written by fans... he's at our mercy?

Don't have a brakedown, it's very good and I will paitiently wait on your update.
5/15/2009 c1 Seriyan

Since you have read my first attempt at a HitsuRuki story, the least I can do is read your stories in return.

It's a great start, I can't wait to read the next chappie!
2/20/2009 c2 16BlackBelt
Next chapter! Hooray! XD lol

Hmm, the story sounds good, but there is a major lack of detail. ^^ that needs to be worked on. Seems pretty rushed as well. You need to learn how to take your time when writing. Draw some things out for us.

Now, with how things are I think you should put more detail into why Toushirou became this "devil". We already know the reason, but it was pretty much told to us, just take things slower and detail things out.

Also; You should NEVER use computer lingo like "OMG" unless someone is texting or chatting over the internet in the fic. It is never good to use that. Always write out the whole word or sentence. Novels are suppose to be long, no short-cuts, ok? :3

Other then that it sounds like its going to be a good story. You just really need to watch your writing a bit. ^^ Update soon!
2/20/2009 c1 BlackBelt
Hey there! On this story now! ^^ Pretty good start! =3 sounds like it will be really interesting, good start for a prolouge! ^^

Well on to the next chapter! lol XD
2/14/2009 c2 PassionIsLove
I like this thus far.

It may be a bit quick to read, but it has flow to it. I hope that you do continue.

Best of luck! Keep up the good work! :D
2/9/2009 c2 Nephelae
Very, interesting. But very OCC, though, you captured Toshiro pretty well.. (xD) I see that actually happening.. Very unlikely.. But, then again, it's not OCC for nothing..


OCC can be good though, it just depends how the writer uses it, I suppose. Though the "OMG!" was quite annoying, and you used much to many exclimation points "!" at times.

And, I'd just like to say.. WE CARE!

Also! A great discovery that I would like to tell you of, so you don't wait over 6 months till finding out.. ^^''

When you upload the document into The document uploader on Fanfiction.neet, there is besides the name of the document underlined blue wording in one of the colemns that says "Edit\Preview" right after the word count. Click that, and a screen will come up with your document. It will name the document at the top in Blue and white wording. Below that are a bunch of small icons.

Okay, there is a Big "B", and "I" and an Underlined "U". You want to look on your right from those. There is a bunch of lines, which is the "Aline left" Button, on the right of that, is the "center" button. But what your looking for is the Button right next to that.. (I went through all of that just not to confuse you what I was talking about. So unto what I've been trying to actually tell you about, ne?)

Okay, so there is a button that has just a straight line, you want to be looking right towards that. That my friend is called here a "Horizantal ruler", or simply known as a line or a spacer. Whatever floats your boat kid. Anyway. If you click a certain part on your document, and then click that button a line will appear, that is used mainly for seperating scenes and time diffrences. It also just makes a fiction look more perfecinall then using these: "-" To seperate them. And is much easier. Though people sometimes use the title or numbers, or some special pattern to seperate their scenes, or POV's, this is much easier and simpler.

Phew, Okay. That was just something I thought I should tell you. I'm in a very helpfull mood, and I feel obligated to help someone, and I'm doing this before I start continuing that 5,0 long word chapter again.. Ugh..

Toshiro: Enough with your blabbing, this is only a review and it's PAST 1,500 characters.

Okay.. My bad! Sorry for wasting any of your time with my blabbing.. But anyway, great job on your first HitsuRuki fanfiction! It was much better then mine.. *Sigh* I'll seeya soon, ne Fire-chan?

2/9/2009 c2 31Mistress Fang
Fire-chan, Fire-chan, Fire-chan... this one was rushed my forum buddy. It was good but rushed. What are we going to do with you? Ah well, until next time!

2/9/2009 c1 Mistress Fang
HAHA! I reviewed Fire-chan! I like how this is going, even though it's kinda, sorta, maybe a little- you know what? Fuck it, the prologue is short, but sweet and I shall read the rest of the fic when you post! BYE-BYE! Na-chan.

12/30/2008 c1 2Twilightllove
aww kawaii! i love this whole hopeless intor followed by a light at the ned of a tunnel do u knowwat i mean lol i can't wait to read more hitsugya toshiro is sexy! woot

12/23/2008 c1 3ccmemories
wowy niice beginning :D can't wait to
12/19/2008 c1 Nephelae
Uhh.. Interesting.. Short.. Haha~ It's like Shiro-Chibi-Taicho! Lmao! Update.
12/17/2008 c1 4HANYAxtaiga
do update fellow hitsurukian~!


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