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8/23/2022 c1 Ninjapizza8247
because Lupus O'Fluna is dyslexic I recommend you read their comment as best you can because they make some great points
5/2/2010 c1 1Lupus O'Fluna
[not a flame, pleas reed it all for if you don't you'll lose the advice and positive ponts in my littel rant ^_^]

To be honist this is just too unrealistic!
For starters this is a tipicol fanfic mary-seu, imposibel situwathion! To have one thing like a bloodline for Naruto is tetering on the edge of unrealistic and devaluws the carictor, but to have him have a superpowered abilety, a mortel enemy and kage-esk power is redicules, you have complitly lost the origenel beauty of the fun dopy carictor.

As for Sasuke... lets face it, Sasuke was a very disterbed boy and with a supereorety complexs so big that it blinded him to all else in the begining, he had the chans to turn out well but the cunen exsam showed him what it was like to wiled godly power and him mined was thereafter going back to that power even though he could still be saved he would not want to even without the seels inflwens... he was just that stuben and damiged. fanfic writers can change a caritor over time but we must remwmbor to keep true to what the carictor IS, not what we want them to be.
your stile is good though but this story has all the halmarks of a super fic, Naruto is a slightly comic carictor with a good hart and a pure soul... if you wantid sasuke changed then use that... have him realise that pontles vengens is in all ways stuped and that he values his life more now then his pety vengens... have him chuse Naruto other his brothere. drop narutos power by ten!

well this can be a good fic if you just put the super naruto down to a odenery naruto, sory I would have wrote more but its 5 am and Im tiyed so male me if you want to talk about my words and I am sory if I ofendid you;
L.O'Fluna, dislexsik ^_^.
2/5/2010 c1 7Myra the Dovahkiin
great story. keep writing. update soon. I can't wait to read more! This is getting interesting.
12/24/2008 c1 1Bobboky

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