for The Lost Stories: Naruto5/24/2009 c1 sdfgjfghjfgyvd
I agree, but unlike the other two reviewers, I'll make it simple. The story lacks in everything. Even simpiler, It kinda sucked. Keep writing, and we'll see.
I agree, but unlike the other two reviewers, I'll make it simple. The story lacks in everything. Even simpiler, It kinda sucked. Keep writing, and we'll see.
2/3/2009 c1 
4peinnoir
Yes, I agree with the previous reviewer. Your showing, put simply, is pathetic, and oh so cliche. I have seriously seen this plot device an inordinate amount of times, all used to the same standard (crappy, with your story included). If you want even a modicum more pageviews, hits, and/or author alerts and/or story favorites, you will need to drastically increase the length of each chapter. This alone is 162 words, and a child can do MUCH better then you did. You also made several grammatical errors, which suggests the idea to me that you need a beta. No, I am not interested. Do you even know what a beta is? I can't really blame you since you've barely been here over three months, but still. Overall rating (between 1 and ten, 1 being the worst, and 10 being the best): 3. The only reason it is not lower is because it isn't riddled with mistakes and typed in txt language. Ex: OMG! [email protected] & sAkurA Had lfet thu Lif villge to fnd SAsuKE! OMG I"M AMAZIN!
Like I said, overall, not the worst, but still barely passable. Note: this is not a flame. It's something wonderful called unbiased opinions. Commonly referred to as constructive criticism. This, in fact, while nasty and mean, is helping you (yes it is) as a writer to mature, and allowing your writing skills to blossom.
PM me when you actually write more then 10 sentences.
4peinnoirYes, I agree with the previous reviewer. Your showing, put simply, is pathetic, and oh so cliche. I have seriously seen this plot device an inordinate amount of times, all used to the same standard (crappy, with your story included). If you want even a modicum more pageviews, hits, and/or author alerts and/or story favorites, you will need to drastically increase the length of each chapter. This alone is 162 words, and a child can do MUCH better then you did. You also made several grammatical errors, which suggests the idea to me that you need a beta. No, I am not interested. Do you even know what a beta is? I can't really blame you since you've barely been here over three months, but still. Overall rating (between 1 and ten, 1 being the worst, and 10 being the best): 3. The only reason it is not lower is because it isn't riddled with mistakes and typed in txt language. Ex: OMG! [email protected] & sAkurA Had lfet thu Lif villge to fnd SAsuKE! OMG I"M AMAZIN!
Like I said, overall, not the worst, but still barely passable. Note: this is not a flame. It's something wonderful called unbiased opinions. Commonly referred to as constructive criticism. This, in fact, while nasty and mean, is helping you (yes it is) as a writer to mature, and allowing your writing skills to blossom.
PM me when you actually write more then 10 sentences.