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10/24/2020 c17 recey2010
Really great story
I was a bit confusing and can’t tell who is winning btwn hermione and Tom but I like it and hope for more
6/15/2020 c8 Guest
There's one MAJOR factual error. Minerva should be a student, not a professor. She was born around the same time as Riddle. Use the Harry Potter Lexicon to make sure you get some of those people's history correct.
6/15/2020 c6 Guest
So, Riddle just left her to be raped? also, could you please put a warning on a chapter like this? Mentions of rape a trigger for me, and I'd like to not stumble across that again.
6/15/2020 c5 Guest
I love your story!
6/15/2020 c2 Guest
NOT poor Ron.
5/27/2020 c17 Caza
Great story so far :) Well written and good characterisation :)
7/27/2019 c17 6SectumSemprae
Hmm. He didn't give back the locket she gave him, did he? I wonder if he makes that his final Horcrux. I wonder whose death he uses.
4/25/2019 c17 alannalove1990
Very good story. Have you abandoned it?
9/12/2018 c6 Luumus
There were three things in this chapter that I found hard to believe. The first:
"This is why I need to learn wandless and silent magic." It's canon that Hermione can use silent spells in fact she did so repeatedly and with great mastery in the last few HP books. I think for the purpose of the plot device you are probably working towards (maybe Tom teaching her how to?) not knowing wandless magic would be enough.

Second:
Why the name "Ino"? From what I understand she doesn't have a Japanese or any asian roots so why use such an obviously non British name? A name like Imogen would be perfectly believable, weird enough for a HP name but also fundamentally British but Ino? It's breaking my immersion and making me feel like I'm reading Naruto fanfic xD

Third point: the ambush, torture, potential rape and killing Hermione over some power struggle. I certainly can believe the ambush, it seems like something very Slytherin to do.
The torture with the crucio. Again it's canon that Hermione can whitstand Bellatrix's torture (who is far more experienced than a bunch of children) for some period of time and yet Hermione still tricked her with wrong information despite it. So I don't buy it that she just fell unconscious. Just like that. It's not canon.
7/25/2016 c16 GlowDust7501
Is there a sequel?
7/11/2016 c5 3sorainier
I know how you feel...
(You missed the "o" for "to")
3/6/2016 c7 Cc
Hey, good job on this story! I noticed in some of your earlier author's notes you asked for constructive criticism - the main thing I'd say is don't be afraid to make the story unapolagetically yours. Don't worry about incorporating what we want (or more accurately what we -think- we want) because that will just confuse things. It's best to develop a vision for the future of the story that excites -you- and makes -you- feel passionate and happy with the story.

Doing that allows you to create something novel without feeling the pressure of other people's expectations, and it can often give readers something we probably didn't even realize we wanted. The best stories I've read were ones in which the writer had a real feel for her characters and what she wanted her story to be about. So the plot and any romance or character development just seemed to propel forward as a matter of course, rather than from being forced along. And some people might criticize and disagree, maybe they dislike the direction of the story and want instant gratification of some plot scenario being fulfilled, but that's empty satisfaction. Go at your pace, by your rules, and even if some may not like it, no one can say you didn't write something special and true to you.

All the best! Did enjoy your story and writing style.
4/28/2015 c13 2Bloody Hearts
About Hadrian, I love that kid.
12/25/2014 c16 The Other World
WoW! This is an absolutely amazing story and I adore it. Far more probable than most Tomione pairings, and very detailed.
The part about the release of the memory intrigued and confused me simultaneously - I might need some more detailed explanation later if that's possible.
I'm going to trust you when you say that the story is not abandoned and is in fact just slow to being updated because you're a slow writer. So I hope my review is one that inspires you to update this soon. I'll add this on to my list as soon as I can be bothered to sign in, and I sincerely hope you'll update this soon because this story has too much potential to just be abandoned.
Thanks for sharing
xx
12/25/2014 c5 Guest
Heyy
an awesome chapter, but I have an objection. Riddle is a Parselmouth, not a Parseltongue. Parseltongue is the language, Parselmouth the person.
I know it's a very common mistake and inconsequential in the long run, but I just read your rant on people who don't review ;) so I decided to chip in.
But other than that, I love the characterizations and I love the direction the story is taking.
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