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9/29/2011 c15 15overtherisingstar
Hi, new reader. :) I apologize in advance, because this is the only review I'm likely to give you... Yes, I'm really that bad at reviewing.

Anyway, I like your story so far very much. Not too out of character, and rather catching.

I do want to comment one of your author's notes, though. That thing you wrote about Rowling being into stereotypes... Well, it might be true, but in the case of Tom Riddle, I really think she was just adhering to the general nature of a psychopath. It's a mental affliction (you'll have to excuse my not knowing the formal term to use, English is not my mother tongue) that is actually entirely factual. Psychopaths very much exist in reality, and the way Rowling describes Voldemort fits in perfectly. Even the possible cause of the affliction fits (being in some way abandoned by a parent or by parents at an early age). Look it up, you'll see what I mean.

End of rant. Of course, for this story to work at all, the fact that Tom Riddle is a psychopath must be completely ignored. As I absolutely love happy endings (hint hint), I'm completely fine with that. :) Keep up the good work, and though I very well might not review again, I'll most likely read it till the end. Actually, you could take my not reviewing as a sign that I have nothing to complain about, if that makes you feel better. ;)

...Aaand this turned out a lot longer than I meant it to be. Sigh. Hope you had the patience to read through it all!

/the from now on most likely invisible fan slash overtherisingstar
9/13/2011 c2 KatyLies
I think my favorite part of this chapter was Hermione's interaction with The Sorting Hat. I thought it was aptly, erm, characterized (is it still character development if the character in question is a hat?). It's nice to see that poorly-kept accessory hold its own against our notoriously domineering girl!
9/1/2011 c1 25Kanki Youji
AH-HAH! I have found you again! I started reading this in 2009, my computer crashed, and I haven't been able to find it since. It's rather haunted me, actually. This is an amazing story, and I regret getting taken from it. It's a pairing I generally do not understand, nor like, but you write it brilliantly and really make me want more of it. Which, believe me, is hard to make me do as I am very hard to get into a pairing of which I do not approve.

EEEE. Re-reading this from the beginning!
8/11/2011 c15 Riana
I've been reading your story all day and I truly adore the characterizations that you've created, especially for Hermione. In particular, the explanations about pure-blood society are well-thought out and fascinating to read. It seems like a part of JKR's world that was largely unacknowledged in the books, and your elaborations fit well within the canon world.

Just a few negative points, though I hope you won't mind. It just seems that the depth and detail that you have added to your story so beautifully at some points is starting to backfire. The immense number of OCs is getting to be a bit much. While I appreciate the strong characters like Corentin and understand the need to populate this largely unpopulated era, going into immense detail about his aunt, for example, is pointless and drags attention away from the plot.

I was also a bit disappointed with the alarm scene. After so much buildup (even a cliffhanger!) it ended very suddenly with not much character development. Maybe instead of the cutesy scene with Minerva, you could have explored a bit more of Hermione's thought process or perhaps provided a discussion between the characters. If you ever do an edit, I would expand on that part a bit.

Also, I'm a bit thrown off by Tom, although you might be doing that on purpose. He's the Dark Lord. Where did that aspect of his personality go? Suddenly he's the foster father of muggle born orphans?

It's such a good story and was so so excellent that I don't want that to end. Please continue writing!
8/2/2011 c15 crossforces
*Adds to favorites and subscribes* I really like this story. I've always been a sucker for the "Hermione goes back and gets Sorted into Slytherin" storyline and you've really added your own twist to it. There might have been a few times where one of the characters seemed out of character but now it all works perfectly to me. I love your Abraxas, by the way. I've always seen him the way you're portraying him. Also, I find the idea of the Crup puppy to be very interesting.

I hope that you update soon as I'm eager to see where you go with this story. =)
7/29/2011 c15 10Aling
Hi! You guilt-tripped me into reviewing because I read all 15 chapters in one day and kept seeing your notes at the end/beginning of each...

In short, I'm really enjoying this story so far. It can be difficult to make a Tom/Hermione time turner original and interesting (while simultaneously maintaining a high standard of writing), and I think that you've done a great job of that so far. I love reading Hermione's interactions and eventual friendships with the other Slytherins, as well as little additions to the story like Hermione's new pet Crup (so cute!).

There are just a few things I'd like to point out, for the sake of constructive criticism. I'm not a huge fan of the occasional POV switch, by which I mean the comments during the story that allude to the writer. It can feel very abrupt, and it normally takes me out of the story. I understand you're trying to be tongue-in-cheek (or maybe I'm misinterpreting that entirely), but I think there are other ways of doing that as well, and I'm under the impression from what I've read that you're a skilled enough writer to get that across without the break in POV. Also, I hope that the two children from the orphanage aren't going to be playing too large of a part in the rest of the story. I like a lot of your OCs, such as Corentin and passing acquaintances like the bookstore owner, but I don't find myself very interested in Lavinia and Hadrian (it also seems like too big of a coincidence that two additional children at the orphanage are magical).

I was wondering, you mentioned at the beginning that Hermione's leg had been injured by a dark curse, but you haven't made a note of it since. What exactly are the effects of the curse? The injury in the latest chapter reminded me of it, because that's what I initially thought was bothering her.

Sorry for the ridiculous length of this review... I got carried away. Anyhow, I'm curious as to where you're going to take this story, and I anxiously await your next installment!
7/15/2011 c15 5MysticValkyrie
Wow I cannot wait for you to update this story. Very few people can take a rather standard plot for this ship and make it unique enough to be interesting, but you have gone above and beyond. I love how you transition throughh the story smoothly, and SLOWLY. Many people cannot resist the urge to get straight to the main action, and while some can make it work, the majority cannot. You, however, have achieved a balance of anticipation and believable, realistic happenstance. I also love how you have characterized, particularly how you've captured Tom's charm without making him some kind of teenage overlord already. Many people overlook the fact that while, yes, Tom is a prodigy, he is still human, and learning. He's not Voldemort yet. I also like how you've captured Hermione as being strong, but human and not some kind of expert fighter who is used to batting off malicious attacks every day of the week. The only constructive crtiisism I can offer is that your supporting characters fall a little flat unless they are participating in a soliloquy. Some people might be a little disappointed in that, but I find it nice that I don't have to skim through some character's angst that I really don't care about. I do however hope that in the future you will bring that delightful shopkeeper back as I have taken a liking to him, and I'm also looking forward to seeing how our the pureblood boy who's name I cannot spell, :) manages the news that Hermione is not the pureblood that he thought she was. And somewhere down the line I'm hoping for a protective Tom. Something about protective men tickles my fancy! I also love Malfoy, Argus, and the kitten. You characterize them beautifully, although Malfoy could use a little more personality. Beautifully written, and I can't wait for the next update!

7/7/2011 c15 Dy
I... do not mind Hermione's chink to be unable to do wandless magic if she learns. If there was something holding her back, like the terrible circumstances of the war or never an appropriate use of it. I nearly thought she threw off her attackers during the attempted Rosier scene and was very disappointed. However, I am still hopeful for Hermione's progress, if there is progress. I always found Rowling's dismissal of Hermione as an inferior wizard to Harry incredibly demeaning. She's the only one who seems to make any effort. And effort (more than inherent talent, because talent only carries you so far), like any good sport or instrument, should be rewarded.

The chapters are a bit confusing on 13-15. They jump around too much, introduce filler OC muggle characters (don't care, changes canon character's personality too quickly for the purpose of making him a better person), and were only interesting for the krup and purity-blood alarm, the latter needing a much longer sequence (it was the revealing point). The bookkeeper was also right to worry that Hermione would leave in a week. We jump from dregs of society to pompous princes in seconds for what? Contrast? Neither was dealt with sincerely enough to warrant it.

And the descriptions which so entranced to this story in the first place are more lacking now. I was enamored with the boat and Charon. It was fantastical. It made me happy. I was also interested in all the minor details of the Slytherin protocol. That's why the Coretin fiasco wasn't well dealt with. If her parentage was to be revealed, which is part of the set chinks to this pairing (although it probably would've been more interesting and snake-like if it hadn't been), it should have been in depth. The friendship angle isn't good enough. There has to be substantial reason why he would even consider betraying his aunt. Perhaps if he wanted to marry her? It otherwise doesn't fit with all the intense protocol of this story.

For a T-rating, there's a lot more implied sex than an M too. Don't dance around it. If you're T, be T. If you're M, be M. Don't have a Riddle walking into the cafeteria with Hermione and his tie untied, if there isn't ramifications. (And suggestion into their relationship...) But more importantly, don't spent inordinate amounts of time on rape and prostitutes. You're adding shock and edge for the sake of shock, there's no point and no weight. Making her more amicable to Riddle because he was her "savior" was also lazy. And why the heck does Hermione even consider becoming a prostitute? Is that a thought that pops into a intelligent, even desperate, mind? No. She's magical. She can steal a house and squat like the bum-wizard in Bedknobs and Broomsticks for Pete's sake. Better than him, actually, considering she can put up wards. It doesn't need to be in there.

And Riddle's lost his edge. It WAS there in the first couple chapters, at least subtly. And later, with the scene with Myrtle and Hagrid. It was well done. Hermione was suitably disgusted. However, there's no evaluations of human's being worth recently and that orphanage scene was atrocious.

Also... why are we seeing Voldemort? If he's in the text, he's being affected by Hermione's alterings concurrently. There's no substantial change or follow through. Alternatively he is already affected and the past remains the same, but then, there should have been a longer follow-up on Hermione's disappearance.

That's all. I'm sorry it's so critical. But I really did like it in the first ten chapters, and I know you wanted reviews upon pain of death. If I didn't think there were enough good qualities about it, I wouldn't bother.
6/24/2011 c15 my guilty ghost
I'm kind of in the same boat as ber1719. It's a little too late for me to go back and review every single chapter, so I'm going to review it as a collective whole.

Basically, I'm a lover of Tom Riddle, and I absolutely cannot stand all of these poorly written, clich├ęd, romantic stories surrounding his character, which so painfully distort his personality.What a lot of people (excluding you, my lovely!) do not realize about Tom Riddle isn't misunderstood-he's manipulative and evil. Sure, he's polite, but it's only a facade he puts on to get what he wants. He's a twisted, sadistic S.O.B., which you capture SO WONDERFULLY in your characterization of him, for which I applaud you!

Your writing is absolutely mesmerizing to read, and this story has a certain grittiness to it that really appeals to my senses and to the characters and situations present.

I quite like your OCs, too, and my personal favorite is actually Catherine. It's just refreshing for me to see another character that doesn't buy into Riddle's bullshit, and I think her motherliness and genuine caring for the children is really quite touching. :)

I also think the way Riddle and Hermione's relationship is progressing is superbly done. I like the way he's so curious about her without actually being infatuated with her, and I really like Hermione's feistiness. She'll be a worthy adversary for Riddle, I'm very sure.

Bravo to you, and I can't wait for the next update!
6/7/2011 c15 ber1719
Well I know that I'm SO LATE in the game now, but I do have an excuse for not reviewing up until now. I mean...I could always go back and review every chapter, which I would honestly be more than happy to do. :D I just started reading this story yesterday when I felt the inexplicable need to read a Tomione story. When I found this one I was so happy and I didn't want to stop reading in order to review. Mostly because I didn't want to stop reading this incredible work of fiction, but also because I was reading it on my phone and it's kind of aggravating trying to review from it.

But, I think that I should take my time leaving you some of my thoughts on what you've written so far. First off, I think that the OCs you have in this story are particularly well written. It's often the case, I've noticed, that fanfiction authors add in OCs that either have no place within the narrative or that have no personality and no depth. My favorite OC(I'm also positive he's an OC) is Corentin. He is so amazing and I really feel like he should be a character in the series. He caught my interest from the first mention of him in the story and that interest has only grown throughout the chapters. I can't wait to see what happens between him and Hermione when school starts up again.

I also think that your interpretation of characters that are included in the Harry Potter universe are very well thought out as well as having your own twist on them. One of my favorite characters that you've managed to put your own creativity into is Abraxas Malfoy. I love it when Tomione stories include him. And I am completely in love with your version of him. I think it's fantastic that he isn't exactly like all the other Slytherins. It makes him stand out and I think it fits very well with the plot that Hermione is saddened by the fact that Tom corrupts him when it's obvious that he isn't like Tom at all.

On to my final point. I love where this story is going and I love that you are taking the time to actually develop the characters, Hermione's relationships with all of them, and the plot. It is exasperating, though in a really good way, seeing how distant Hermione and Tom still are at this point, but it will make the point where they actually start to become friends that much sweeter. Speaking of which, I can't wait for the next chapter. I can honestly say that this is one of the better Tomione stories that I've ever read and it's been a real pleasure since I stumbled across it yesterday.
6/3/2011 c15 4PintoNess
Man I hate when I catch up.
6/3/2011 c11 PintoNess
Argus Filch...? O.o
6/3/2011 c5 PintoNess
I'm reading this and it's great so far. It really is. I normally don't review, but since you posted that thing at the end of the chapter it reminded me too. :P
6/2/2011 c15 14Alalaes
A very enjoyable read so far. Your characterization is solid, especially Riddle. Other fanfics eventually fall into the OOC trap and the effect his past had on shaping his personality is conveniently glossed over.

I also like how you've incorporated various aspects of pureblood culture and other wizarding society trivia- they add substance and I would like to read more if possible.
5/31/2011 c15 mia
As a first time reader who just stumbled upon, then obsessively read the entirety of the story so far, I figured I should probably review. Let me just say, I love this story. I'm a little put off by the introduction of "author talking directly to reader" bits, but the story itself, and the quality of the writing in general is fantastic. At the moment, I'm too excited about the discovery of a new story that I like to give a proper review, so all I can really say now is, please update soon!
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