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for In Plain Sight

7/3/2020 c13 Duda Makalister
Eu adorei o capítulo, Rose Evans não seria uma versão da Hermione do futuro,né?
4/15/2020 c2 Guest
Alright, I know I'm about to do a shitty thing: write a bad review for an old fic, but man this has a bundle of frustrating issues in only two chapters. So here's the deal, the concept here is okay, but the writing has its flaws.

First of all, there's your manipulative Dumbledore, which actually just turned out to be evil Dumbledore. These are two different things. Please tag accordingly.

Rose feels like a Marie Sue that just came along and saved everything without there being any trouble. And she also feels more like a mountain of exposition in the second chapter than a mother. Then she goes on to keep secrets because Harry isn't "ready", which is ironically what Dumbledore did in canon to gain his manipulative reputation.

Harry isn't acting like a child, or even a person in the story. When he talks to Draco it becomes a rant about how blood purity is stupid, despite the fact that Draco never said anything to provoke the rant in the first place. And then Draco just goes along with it? This isn't how anyone acts, let alone 11 year olds. And it is obviously meant to redeem Draco, but you've gone too fast and too on the nose. So on the nose, in fact, that even Voldemort is jealous. This Harry sounds like a rigid, snotty, righteous, know it all, plot device.

Maybe the fic gets better as it goes along, but I doubt it. I've read a lot of Harry Potter fics and I think this will be a poorly done Independent! Super! Harry.
6/2/2019 c1 pranati
that was a petty good chapter. It was mysterious and fun I suggest you to write more
1/9/2019 c11 kronoan
I've been enjoying this story very much!
10/6/2016 c1 SortingHat
Rather then the usual nosy neighbors if that neighborhood had some kind of *Watch* program that would've raised enough suspicion to dial 999 and summon the police with their yellow vest.
4/3/2016 c8 Jackter
Ya i used to read the dictionary too, like a storybook. still do it
7/8/2014 c18 Guest
I wish there was more of this...
1/27/2013 c18 110NabikiB
1/26/2013 c10 NabikiB
re: "I didn't," replied Chris honestly. "It was just a feeling I had."

Force nudge.

I think I'm leaning more in the direction of think Rose is a knight, minimum.
1/26/2013 c6 NabikiB
Any chance I can get you to take a look at this? I'm a little shaky on the Whovian aspects though I'm not trying for canon in ANY respect. Don't do canon well, too busy trying for 'What would happen if...'

story/story_edit_ ?storyid8913784 I've only had one person read it and I don't think they read it all the way through because the only comment I got was something that was explained later on...and mentioned several times.

I do love this story, though.
1/26/2013 c5 NabikiB
Sounds like I wasn't the only one who guessed Bella...but, in absence of Mrs. Lestrange, I'd have to make an Unknown Jedi, my next guess...unknown, because the only Golden Red haired Jedi I know of was young Obi before Phantom Menace...and Qui's hair is graying chestnut, so he's not it.

Bant's not human so that's unlikely and the syntax tells me that she's probably not Yaddle or Yoda...could be Adi, I suppose...or Tahl.
1/26/2013 c3 NabikiB
Common error, I see it frequently from a LOT of writers, but it still drives me nuts.

re: 'The more Muggle-borns that pop up, the less Muggles there are.'

Should be: The more Muggle-borns that pop up, the fewer Muggles there are."
1/26/2013 c2 NabikiB
re: Why? Cause once I do, the big bubble with the word "Surprise" on it will irrefutably pop and unfold yet another dimension to the story.

Bellatrix Lestrange.
11/23/2012 c18 1vampiremuggle
Awesome story! Please update soon! I can't wait to read more!

vampiremuggle at gmail dot com
6/28/2012 c17 3Larisya
Mmm. So he doesn't speak Parseltounge? Uh oh. Does Rose show up or something? I guess she didn't kill it. A shame.
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