for My Voice11/27/2009 c4 Nisha
Cool
Cool
11/27/2009 c2 Nisha
awesome
awesome
11/26/2009 c4 blackmoonchristi
hi elon chri-chan here yea WRITE MORE U TWILIGHT FREAK! i want maybe some romance and dont kill bella with the shopping kk but other than that write a different story or something put some drarry u got no yaoi chica o and keep up the good work ur a great story writer
hi elon chri-chan here yea WRITE MORE U TWILIGHT FREAK! i want maybe some romance and dont kill bella with the shopping kk but other than that write a different story or something put some drarry u got no yaoi chica o and keep up the good work ur a great story writer
4/17/2009 c2 
45Ciara in cotton socks
Hey, good story! I really like it, well done! You gotta love Charlie and his inability to cook in his own kitchen... Any-who, well done, update soon! Please! *makes puppy dog eyes*
Ciara
x x x
45Ciara in cotton socksHey, good story! I really like it, well done! You gotta love Charlie and his inability to cook in his own kitchen... Any-who, well done, update soon! Please! *makes puppy dog eyes*
Ciara
x x x
2/13/2009 c2 ur new bestie
Told you I would reveiw LOVE da new chapter and now it is a bookmark on my fone and my bro's luv ya!
Told you I would reveiw LOVE da new chapter and now it is a bookmark on my fone and my bro's luv ya!
2/12/2009 c1 5Disoriented coconuts
“ I guess it wasn't Alice. Someone like m best friend could never in a million years be mistaken for a Male of any kind. But he had said "Doctor" and " only knew one, that i knew and loved like a father but didn't want to think about. My heart started beating erratically, and my blood pumped faster in my veins. I took the phone from him gently and gingerly with shaking hands and he snatched his hand away from my proximity as though I’d burned him. Or considering his temperature, froze him ( A/N corniest thing I know!)”
As I said; This sounds awkward, not to mention a bit run-on ish. You also have a bit of a problem with finishing your work; Doting your I’s and crossing your T’s.
I guess it wasn't Alice...Someone like my best friend could never in a million years be mistaken for a Male. But he said "Doctor" and I only knew one. One that loved like a father but didn't exactly want to think about at the moment. My heart started beating erratically, the blood pumping faster through my veins. I found my shaking hands taking the phone from him gently before he snatched his hand away from my proximity as though I'd burned him. Or considering his temperature, froze him, that is.
The other thing that’s been bothering me was the rapid mood swings that don’t have enough depth given into them. The transitions are just a bit erratic in my opinion.
EX:
At the next word the person spoke I felt my knees go weak with relief and happiness. But then the hole in my chest throbbed at the memory. When he heard my voice I heard him gasp.
“Bella?”
It..It was Edward. Edward. His voice was even more angelic than I dared to remember. The tears started to swim in my eyes. They spilled over. I was vaguely aware of Jacob standing about 5 feet from me looking oh-so morose. This had to be a dream, it had to be. A continuous dream from September. He said he didn’t want me. Why would he be checking back for me a mere human? He had to have found someone else by now. He didn’t love me he couldn’t.
You might want to consider stretching this out into something more to give the readers a better…” feel “ if it. Y’know what I’m saying?
He had to have found someone else by now. He didn’t love me. He couldn’t.
You definatly have talent. Your only problems seem to be not describing the scene in enough detail before skipping over into another thought process entirely.
5Disoriented coconuts“ I guess it wasn't Alice. Someone like m best friend could never in a million years be mistaken for a Male of any kind. But he had said "Doctor" and " only knew one, that i knew and loved like a father but didn't want to think about. My heart started beating erratically, and my blood pumped faster in my veins. I took the phone from him gently and gingerly with shaking hands and he snatched his hand away from my proximity as though I’d burned him. Or considering his temperature, froze him ( A/N corniest thing I know!)”
As I said; This sounds awkward, not to mention a bit run-on ish. You also have a bit of a problem with finishing your work; Doting your I’s and crossing your T’s.
I guess it wasn't Alice...Someone like my best friend could never in a million years be mistaken for a Male. But he said "Doctor" and I only knew one. One that loved like a father but didn't exactly want to think about at the moment. My heart started beating erratically, the blood pumping faster through my veins. I found my shaking hands taking the phone from him gently before he snatched his hand away from my proximity as though I'd burned him. Or considering his temperature, froze him, that is.
The other thing that’s been bothering me was the rapid mood swings that don’t have enough depth given into them. The transitions are just a bit erratic in my opinion.
EX:
At the next word the person spoke I felt my knees go weak with relief and happiness. But then the hole in my chest throbbed at the memory. When he heard my voice I heard him gasp.
“Bella?”
It..It was Edward. Edward. His voice was even more angelic than I dared to remember. The tears started to swim in my eyes. They spilled over. I was vaguely aware of Jacob standing about 5 feet from me looking oh-so morose. This had to be a dream, it had to be. A continuous dream from September. He said he didn’t want me. Why would he be checking back for me a mere human? He had to have found someone else by now. He didn’t love me he couldn’t.
You might want to consider stretching this out into something more to give the readers a better…” feel “ if it. Y’know what I’m saying?
He had to have found someone else by now. He didn’t love me. He couldn’t.
You definatly have talent. Your only problems seem to be not describing the scene in enough detail before skipping over into another thought process entirely.
2/12/2009 c2 blackmoonchristi
u r so dead i dont care if u was watching 6teen do ur work elon . i wanted moree but its really good so ur off the hook right now but next time...MAKE IT LONGER! lolz i lovez ur story its on my favorites so ur good =^-^= kkz well imma subscribe 2 u and o make some sasunaru stories ok with sakura bashing kkz wel good luck and get ur brain working =)
u r so dead i dont care if u was watching 6teen do ur work elon . i wanted moree but its really good so ur off the hook right now but next time...MAKE IT LONGER! lolz i lovez ur story its on my favorites so ur good =^-^= kkz well imma subscribe 2 u and o make some sasunaru stories ok with sakura bashing kkz wel good luck and get ur brain working =)
2/7/2009 c2 25Miles333
This story is really great. I totally love it. :)x3. lol What will happen with Bella and Edward? Will they ever see each other again? Please update really soon, 'kay? Pretty please? Pretty please with sprinkles on top? And a cherry? And if you decide that you want me as your beta, go ahead and drop me a PM.
Talk to you soon!
-M3
25Miles333This story is really great. I totally love it. :)x3. lol What will happen with Bella and Edward? Will they ever see each other again? Please update really soon, 'kay? Pretty please? Pretty please with sprinkles on top? And a cherry? And if you decide that you want me as your beta, go ahead and drop me a PM.
Talk to you soon!
-M3
2/7/2009 c1 Miles333
OMG, this story is AWESOME! I'm going to recommend it to several people right away! :) Poor Bella, too. Does Edward think that she hates him, and hung up the phone? *looks worried* And if you still need a beta, I'd be glad to be yours. ^-^
I'm off to read the next chapter,
-M3
OMG, this story is AWESOME! I'm going to recommend it to several people right away! :) Poor Bella, too. Does Edward think that she hates him, and hung up the phone? *looks worried* And if you still need a beta, I'd be glad to be yours. ^-^
I'm off to read the next chapter,
-M3
1/29/2009 c2 1Sarabiiiiiiii
Aw Babe don't get discouraged! I love your story.I will tell everyone I can about it! Also, update alot later on in the afternoon when people are on, and it will appear in the just in chapters catagorie. =D
1SarabiiiiiiiiAw Babe don't get discouraged! I love your story.I will tell everyone I can about it! Also, update alot later on in the afternoon when people are on, and it will appear in the just in chapters catagorie. =D
1/29/2009 c2 64Bunnylass
Aww, ya! Thanks for updating! Poor Bella, I feel bad for her. Denial is a sweet thing we just can't live without. Seems like she's going through the same thing. ;)
I'm glad Alice came into it, the part with them in the kitchen had me smiling! It was like you were there, watching these two people burst into hysterics and you can help but do the same!
I get like that when I've been overly stressed and haven't had a good laugh in a while. The last time I got hysterical was when I watched the sneezing panda thing on YouTube. I lmao everytime I watch it now. :D
Okay, completely off topic and random. I'm putting that down to being very tired right now, hehe. Hope you update again soon! Thanks hun!
64BunnylassAww, ya! Thanks for updating! Poor Bella, I feel bad for her. Denial is a sweet thing we just can't live without. Seems like she's going through the same thing. ;)
I'm glad Alice came into it, the part with them in the kitchen had me smiling! It was like you were there, watching these two people burst into hysterics and you can help but do the same!
I get like that when I've been overly stressed and haven't had a good laugh in a while. The last time I got hysterical was when I watched the sneezing panda thing on YouTube. I lmao everytime I watch it now. :D
Okay, completely off topic and random. I'm putting that down to being very tired right now, hehe. Hope you update again soon! Thanks hun!
1/24/2009 c1 blackmoonchristi
i love it its so sad in a good way and i loove the twilight saga soo im so adding this as my favorite
i love it its so sad in a good way and i loove the twilight saga soo im so adding this as my favorite
1/24/2009 c1 blackmoonchristi
i love it its so sad in a good way and i love twilight saga so its perfect adding as favorite.
i love it its so sad in a good way and i love twilight saga so its perfect adding as favorite.
1/18/2009 c1 new bff frm u no where
u have such a great story so now my reveiw equals 5 lol
u have such a great story so now my reveiw equals 5 lol