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for Creature of Habit

12/30/2019 c28 2TrillionSchiffer
omgggggg the mind reader get surprised AGAIN!. not only that, He and the person is is supposed to be looking out for are completely ambushed by minds he didnt hear till he got kicked across the forest. Jesus Christ! ...eye roll to the heavens...

smgdh

Clear manipulation of known advantages due to lack of writing creativity. Sorry tired of being nice about it. It is what the hell it is. I really hope you've stepped it up a notch since writing this. I really do.
12/30/2019 c28 TrillionSchiffer
Edward again. this is what I mean. He has a 3 mile radius mental reach. one that was confirmed. yet he is againsurprisedwhen newborns are so close that he could smell them and hear the ruffling of thier clothes all before he can even register thier minds.

smgh. #justsaying #JustPayingAttention.

My main point in bringing this up again is this. If you are going to write people with gifts that provide for them well known advantages...then you are going to have to accept those advantages and get "creative". Dont water them down to fit your plot or momentary inconveniences!. #justsaying Because having a 3 mile advantage in this whole story would've solved alot if not All the drama that was faced here. Especially if all the villains have to approach Edward is knowing exactly where he is at any point and time. . it would be hard to track him or hurt things that belong to him of he was always aware that a strange vamp has step into his range. #justsusingmyheadtothinkcreatively
12/30/2019 c27 TrillionSchiffer
I cant really say I get your watered down Alice, Edward and Jasper.

Alice is a fighter. Even Jasper stubbornly admits she is good and can even best him, yet she is captured. plus even if she can see the decisions james and Victoria makes she could see her own! she should've known running in alone was going to end in captivity. it was her visions that kept her out of trouble when she was totally alone. it told her what to do and not do... yet you've watered her down so much for your plot to work she is next to useless.

Same with Edward. In this version, people literally have to be steeping on his toes before he notices their mind...yet it is hismind readingthat is suppose to save Alice? pfft... yeah okay. which is it? is he useless of useful? because he was useless till Carlisle said he needed help finding Alice. he was useless till your plot decided otherwise. sorry to keep pointing out clear manipulations but I'm #JustPayingAttention

As for Jasper ... dont care enough about this version of his character to go In detail. All I would say is, his power is stronger than what most have been able to write about creatively. Most fanfics get it wrong so imma give you a pass altogether on him.
12/30/2019 c25 TrillionSchiffer
another thing there's so much technology in play here it's crazy. Why aren't they tracking the phones? And why didn't car loan or Jasper no. Victoria and James have been to the house why did they need the kid to tell them that? or why did Edward even think he needed to repeat Victoria and James has bit have been to the house
12/30/2019 c25 TrillionSchiffer
Jesus Christ! how many times does a vampire have to be on Edwards toes before he decides to keep his mind open to Danger question! It's ridiculous right now! every time another vampire creeps up feet away from him I have to roll my eyes. it's a clear manipulation for drama. does he have a 3-mile radius or not. Because he could read minds 3 miles out right? If so why is every vampire he meets just pops up in front of him? Vampire minds are different than human ones he should know when another vampire is coming no matter the number in the crowd. It's ridiculous completely ridiculous. a clear manipulation for plot drama
12/30/2019 c22 TrillionSchiffer
I am not really a big fan of lemons, but this Edward is just way too repressed interested. this level of repression to my mind, should have ended 5 chapters ago. especially before they even moved in together. it's getting ridiculous now. There's so much other avenues of interest in this story that you need to get to but this is taking up. too much space. whatever needs to happen between them needs to happen already and we need to move on from. It.
11/24/2019 c31 3ReadM0re
Great story! Enjoyed reading it!
11/22/2019 c19 ReadM0re
I am really enjoying this story so far!
10/14/2019 c10 Guest
No denial by Edward. Not good.
10/14/2019 c9 Guest
Loved her soliliquey. AND his response. Thank you!
10/14/2019 c8 Guest
Excellent! Thank you.
10/14/2019 c7 Guest
Interesting. More about Edward and hunting nomads. Curioser and curiouser. Thank you!
10/14/2019 c6 Guest
Edward. Hahahaha. Readiing on...
10/14/2019 c5 Guest
Ooh. There are predators out there. I have a feeling he will be stalking Bella at home, protectively.
10/13/2019 c4 Guest
He has claimed a dog. Hahaha. Reading on! Thank you.
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