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for The Bed

9/21/2020 c4 1metylerandnaruto
Misspelled words took away from the experience...
2/16/2014 c1 1Atom80sky
"You wanna' make that dream a reality?" that was actually the smoothest pick-up line ever in those play on words! Great job! can't wait to read more!
5/30/2013 c3 Guest
Awesome
5/5/2009 c4 11M.S DARK ANGEL
woaw!

*wipes

nosebleed*

that waz

FUCKIN

AWESOME!

write more

plz! ^/^
4/16/2009 c3 M.S DARK ANGEL
ooh!

nice

move

sasuke!

write

more

plz!

^_^
2/10/2009 c2 HeatingItUp
Eh... this is a story?

Here's some constructive criticism.

1. Format; change it. Normal format, don't put it in the middle, it's annoying to read.

2. Story: Make it feel as though your audience is apart of the story, that will make it more appealing.

3. Characters: I can't really see any development occurring in this story, remember, description, emotion, dialogue. Remember you are creating a whole new world with the story, so make sure to treat it well and put a lot of effort into it.

4. If the chapters are this short; it would work better as a one shot, or two shot, try aiming for at least 1500 - 20 words each chapter.
1/18/2009 c1 1metylerandnaruto
Awesome!

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