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3/23/2009 c4 2Psyclone
Short chapter! xDD Just kidding, you already know. Hm, I suppose my vote is for Eragon to not get captured, but maybe travel through a few more villages before finally heading to Teirm, or maybe after Teirm go through a couple more. Maybe meet that psycho elf from Brisingr out in the middle of nowhere..
3/18/2009 c3 4Shadowed Nightwings
good story!
3/14/2009 c3 Jasmine .09
what a fantastic story plz plz plz! update soon.^-^
3/3/2009 c3 2guesswho111
The story is good and i think it would be a great story especally if you followed the books.However if you dont follow the books i still find the story very interesting.
2/25/2009 c3 1Hikari Urania
Update soon! i mean two dragons wow! That is going to cause some rivalries.
2/24/2009 c3 2Psyclone
Finally, it let's me review! FF had a glitch and wouldn't let me log in. I did like this chapter, can't wait for more of the fighting for Eragon's attention. xD I hope there's more of them in the next chapter! Can't wait for the next one, goodluck writing! hope to see chapter 4 soon!
2/22/2009 c3 5Fresh blood
Nice chapter, I love your plot, it's just so original, I don't think I've seen another Eragon/Saphira story where there were more than just one dragon after Eragon whilst he remains blissfully unawares. I especially loved the little stunt Saphira performed at the end there, I bet that really annoyed Freya, and speaking of Freya, I'm glad you liked the names I gave you.

Now, your writing just needs a little improvement, you do mix up a few words or mispell them and sometimes your sentences aren't always as well constructed as they could be but I think that will get better over time, you can only improve.

Looking forwards to the next chapter, I wonder how they'll escape the ra'zac now that Brom's been incapicitated.
2/21/2009 c3 2Zechta
WOW great story im not going to miss the next update i cant belive you came up with the idea of Eragon having 2 dragons its brilliant but is this going to be Eragon/Saphira like you said or a Eragon/Freya or both ;) (and how will they mate Eragon being human and the other 2 dragons and all) well good luck anyway and please anser my questions!
2/21/2009 c3 The Platypus Caper
Hmm I have a question, are the dragons speaking mentally or are they speaking out loud. The fonts are exactly the same so I was just wondering. In the books it's just italicized with no quotes. I used to have it italicized with quotes but I dropped the quotes a while back. It's your story though so whatever you feel like typing though you may want to say if they are speaking mentally. It's unlikely that they aren't but since you're rewriting the story I thought maybe you might be changing their form of communication. Anyways great chapter I like all the little rumbles the two dragons get into when fighting for Eragon. I wonder what will become of Brom now that he's been either captured or killed by the Ra'zac. In the book I think they let him go but who know what they might do. Interesting that you made three Ra'zac but I guess you killed so it's back to the way it was. Great chapter I look forward to the next one.
2/21/2009 c2 2Psyclone
So far, I like it! just a few errors I've seen, your instead of you're, to instead of two. But it's got an interesting start. I have a name for the green one, how does Lotus sound? I have a few others if you'd like. xD rivalry for Eragon's affection! Can't wait for then ext chapter, goodluck writing it!
2/20/2009 c1 00MeLiSsA00
Please update soon
2/18/2009 c2 Jasmine .09
i luv your story plz update ASAP. ^_^
2/16/2009 c2 The Platypus Caper
Well that was a good chapter though I couldn't quite concentrate since my sister and younger brother kept wanting me to play some music on my laptop. But the chapter was good aside from the once in a while text talk lol. I wonder what that scroll that Brom had was all about probably some ancient prophecy. I like the little rivalry going on between the dragon hatchlings that's always funny. Great chapter can't wait for the next one so update soon!
2/16/2009 c2 5Fresh blood
I loved this chapter, I thought the dragonesses' behaviours were brilliant, I hope to see more of it. It seems to me you already know which way you want to take the story. You're leaving behind little bits of information that point to future happenings in your story so I dont think the help anyone gives for the plot would be useful. However, if you do intend to make Eragon a dragon to make the E/S aspect more agreeable then I suggest you have a lot of fun with the rivalry that will undoubtedly occur between Saphira and the green dragon. But as I see you've already started with the rivalry you'll probably do that anyway. As for names for your green dragon, I have a few but they may not be good ones. Solaris, Lanea, and Freya.

Well I look forwards to your next chapter.
1/28/2009 c1 1Lord Ezra'eil
Hmm... Interesting concept, but it would have worked much better if you had said they were twins from the same egg...
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