for Shattered2/14/2010 c8 starfire192486
WoW! The essay on compassion...I had never thought of it like that before, but after taking some psychology and sociology classes, I've come to consider people's pasts and how they came to be the people they are today. I know I have trouble communicating with people sometimes and I would love to be given multiple chances to make a better impression on someone. I'm enjoying reading your story! You're doing well! :)
WoW! The essay on compassion...I had never thought of it like that before, but after taking some psychology and sociology classes, I've come to consider people's pasts and how they came to be the people they are today. I know I have trouble communicating with people sometimes and I would love to be given multiple chances to make a better impression on someone. I'm enjoying reading your story! You're doing well! :)
1/2/2010 c19 
8wuteva4eva456
Okay, dude. I have to say I skimmed the whole story, but I basically got the gist of it pretty quickly. Let me recap:
Apparently, Mary's being slapped around by her stepdad. Uncool. She almost (key word there) gets raped. Even more uncool. Joey gets shot by psychotic stepdad, but he makes a miraculous recovery. Amazing. They then get married and live happily ever after. Fantastic. I sound enthusiastic, right?
I'm sorry to say this, but your story's just about as original as this movie. I'm really starting to wonder what they teach kids now a days in those public schools we have here in the U.S. of A.
In all seriousness, you dealt with some serious emotions. Abuse is pretty serious, and I liked a few of the lines Joey told Mary. It was very romantic in how he comforted her and told her she was beautiful. You did a good job with the romance, it's just the unoriginal story and a few spelling and grammatical errors that got me...
Keep writing. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing middle school/early high school. You have plenty of time to cook up some good ideas for drama, and school's just the place to find it!
8wuteva4eva456Okay, dude. I have to say I skimmed the whole story, but I basically got the gist of it pretty quickly. Let me recap:
Apparently, Mary's being slapped around by her stepdad. Uncool. She almost (key word there) gets raped. Even more uncool. Joey gets shot by psychotic stepdad, but he makes a miraculous recovery. Amazing. They then get married and live happily ever after. Fantastic. I sound enthusiastic, right?
I'm sorry to say this, but your story's just about as original as this movie. I'm really starting to wonder what they teach kids now a days in those public schools we have here in the U.S. of A.
In all seriousness, you dealt with some serious emotions. Abuse is pretty serious, and I liked a few of the lines Joey told Mary. It was very romantic in how he comforted her and told her she was beautiful. You did a good job with the romance, it's just the unoriginal story and a few spelling and grammatical errors that got me...
Keep writing. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing middle school/early high school. You have plenty of time to cook up some good ideas for drama, and school's just the place to find it!
12/19/2009 c1 11Xx78 secret converseXx
who knew dominique of all pple would find a husband? and poor mary , she doesnt deserve tht at all
11Xx78 secret converseXxwho knew dominique of all pple would find a husband? and poor mary , she doesnt deserve tht at all
12/10/2009 c14 Mariejoe Andres
i read your story up to chapter 14 and it was AWESOME! i love how you combined a love story into a like a murder mystery. i stopped here because I got bored of reading about there marriage. keep writing more stories like this 1.
i read your story up to chapter 14 and it was AWESOME! i love how you combined a love story into a like a murder mystery. i stopped here because I got bored of reading about there marriage. keep writing more stories like this 1.
10/19/2009 c4 Caroline
scary!
GOOD! VERY GOOD!
scary!
GOOD! VERY GOOD!
10/12/2009 c14 JenniferHopeZEqualsMe
u know, it was really cool when u wrote that the wedding date to be set on August 25th? its the date of my birthday!
u know, it was really cool when u wrote that the wedding date to be set on August 25th? its the date of my birthday!
9/26/2009 c8 1scribe de la vie
oh my goshe i had a presentation about rachel scott at my denominational(church denomination) did you know that she drew a picture describing what would happen 5 Days before her death?
1scribe de la vieoh my goshe i had a presentation about rachel scott at my denominational(church denomination) did you know that she drew a picture describing what would happen 5 Days before her death?
8/7/2009 c17 EALRunaway
They broke tradition! Oh well, it seemed like a cool wedding. It was sweet. Good chapter!
They broke tradition! Oh well, it seemed like a cool wedding. It was sweet. Good chapter!