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for The day I learned how to live

4/13/2009 c1 DullyBeautiful04
WOW! absolutely WOW. I have no words to say. if this is really the first story you wrote in english, then you deserve a medal. i didnt see any mistakes that should be pointed out. your grammar is very good and you got the message across so well.

at first i was confused by her behaviour, you know rebirth. she was supposed to be reborn again,start a new life, not kill herself, but then i got it..this killing herself, or parting from the world was her 'rebirth'.

i didnt expect edward to show up in the story because it already seemed to end and i just thought you posted something about Bella, but when Edward appeared, i was so surprised but happy at the same time.

the emotion you that captured in the story is unbeleuvable. so much depression, sadness, defeat..it was very well done.

i know it would sound weird, but is there a chance that you might make this into a story? it doesnt seem like this is the ending, i feel like there's more to it... but only if you want to.

great story, again..i really enjoyed it!

CG30 :)

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