for Clockwork Love5/31/2013 c1 Guest
How come theres no more chapters? I was looking forward to reading this, its got potential!
Um, maybe you will decide to come back to this one day...maybe..
If so I would like to read it.
How come theres no more chapters? I was looking forward to reading this, its got potential!
Um, maybe you will decide to come back to this one day...maybe..
If so I would like to read it.
3/23/2013 c1 Guest
This start is intriguing...why no update? Surely you had a story in mind...well hopefully you decide to continue it some time, I'd like to read more.
This start is intriguing...why no update? Surely you had a story in mind...well hopefully you decide to continue it some time, I'd like to read more.
6/16/2011 c1 
2Skyrere
I see promise here. I would very much like to see where you were going to take this. The Opinionated Self Involved Troll who so rudely called you names and bashed you without giving the story a chance to get past the prologue was an idiot, and was probably afraid that you were going to damage his well polished opinion of OC's. XD
I sincerely hope that you pick this story up again when the time comes. I will read it and review it, and give you my opinion and if asked, a critique of your style...
2SkyrereI see promise here. I would very much like to see where you were going to take this. The Opinionated Self Involved Troll who so rudely called you names and bashed you without giving the story a chance to get past the prologue was an idiot, and was probably afraid that you were going to damage his well polished opinion of OC's. XD
I sincerely hope that you pick this story up again when the time comes. I will read it and review it, and give you my opinion and if asked, a critique of your style...
5/2/2010 c1 AsthaRen
Well I'm liking how this is turning out so far. X3 The plotline, from what I can tell, is definitely interesting, and original, and I can't wait to read more.
Gotta love female mechanics! : D
I sense that she's going to be a bit of a handful...It seems like Father O'Hara is eager to get rid of said OC. Is she a klutzy mechanic? Or just really energetic? X3 Either way, she seems like she's gonna be a fun character, even though we don't know anything about her yet...
And I'm glad there will be no Esther bashing! I quite like Esther, she's one of my favorites, and I'm actually a big TresXEsther fan, so I don't like it when she's treated like COMPLETE crap in some fics. ^^;
Anyways, I would love to write a long, detailed review, but as there is only one chapter released, I can't quite do that now can I? ^^;
This story looks promising, and I cannot wait to read more! It seems you haven't updated in quite a while...This makes a bit worried that I won't ever meet this main character. . But I also know how some stories are and how life can affect you and derive your attentiion. It's all good. Anyways, this seems like a great story, good job so far, keep up the great work, and update soon please! Even if it is short! ^^
Well I'm liking how this is turning out so far. X3 The plotline, from what I can tell, is definitely interesting, and original, and I can't wait to read more.
Gotta love female mechanics! : D
I sense that she's going to be a bit of a handful...It seems like Father O'Hara is eager to get rid of said OC. Is she a klutzy mechanic? Or just really energetic? X3 Either way, she seems like she's gonna be a fun character, even though we don't know anything about her yet...
And I'm glad there will be no Esther bashing! I quite like Esther, she's one of my favorites, and I'm actually a big TresXEsther fan, so I don't like it when she's treated like COMPLETE crap in some fics. ^^;
Anyways, I would love to write a long, detailed review, but as there is only one chapter released, I can't quite do that now can I? ^^;
This story looks promising, and I cannot wait to read more! It seems you haven't updated in quite a while...This makes a bit worried that I won't ever meet this main character. . But I also know how some stories are and how life can affect you and derive your attentiion. It's all good. Anyways, this seems like a great story, good job so far, keep up the great work, and update soon please! Even if it is short! ^^
11/12/2009 c1 26Anaxn
This is interesting and I think you could definately have a good fanfic here! Do you read the manga or watch the anime? When will the next one be up?
26AnaxnThis is interesting and I think you could definately have a good fanfic here! Do you read the manga or watch the anime? When will the next one be up?
11/10/2009 c1 10dratcat
"Miles away, in a small workshop in Ireland, a young girl suddenly sneezed."
Lol lol lol.
I'm with you on the not rushing relationships thing. There are quite a few Tres fics out there where it's just -assumed- that Tres is not what he is: that is, a cyborg with an EMOTION INHIBITOR. (Sigh.)
I notice this hasn't been updated in months. Please update!
Ignore the review of your first reviewer, he/she sounds like a rude snob. OC stories have such a bad rep because a lot of people who write them write THEMSELVES into the story (plus some super powers usually), rather than an interesting, ORIGINAL character, which sounded like what you were aiming for. OC stories have the capability of making readers see canon characters from a different angle than usual, which is very valuable, and some writers are really good at doing this. Some OC stories can be really, really good.
Kaiser Washington's assumption that your story will be bad based merely upon the existence of an Original Character is a silly and ignorant assumption to make. Let me make a parallel in the Trinity Blood universe: just because one Methuselah is an evil asshole doesn't necessarily mean that all Methuselahs are evil assholes as a whole. Just because there are a lot of crappy OC stories out there doesn't mean that every single OC story is also crap. This is common sense.
And yours started off well. I think KW is wrong: your prologue was humourous and it DID serve a purpose - that purpose was to establish the reason for the presence of the OC in the story. Without it, your OC would be less likely and therefore less believable. I DO want to know what happens next. I DID understand the dialogue (I don't see how KW was having problems). Please continue the story. Negative, rude reviews like that can put a dampener on anyone's willingness to continue a story. If KW had truly wanted to help you improve, they would have offered suggestions for improvement (CONSTRUCTIVE criticism) rather than simply knocking down everything they could and making nasty aspersions about your intelligence just because of some apparent prejudice against OC stories.
There were no spelling or grammatical errors that I could see; it flowed pretty well. This chapter on its own is not enough for me to be a spot-on judge of your writing style as a whole, but to me there seems to be absolutely nothing to complain about. Please, please continue this story, because if you stopped writing it just because of the one bad review, that would be a terrible shame. This should be a supportive place where people can improve their writing with HELP from others, not hindrance.
I'm sorry for the length of this review; I just hate haters, I guess.
10dratcat"Miles away, in a small workshop in Ireland, a young girl suddenly sneezed."
Lol lol lol.
I'm with you on the not rushing relationships thing. There are quite a few Tres fics out there where it's just -assumed- that Tres is not what he is: that is, a cyborg with an EMOTION INHIBITOR. (Sigh.)
I notice this hasn't been updated in months. Please update!
Ignore the review of your first reviewer, he/she sounds like a rude snob. OC stories have such a bad rep because a lot of people who write them write THEMSELVES into the story (plus some super powers usually), rather than an interesting, ORIGINAL character, which sounded like what you were aiming for. OC stories have the capability of making readers see canon characters from a different angle than usual, which is very valuable, and some writers are really good at doing this. Some OC stories can be really, really good.
Kaiser Washington's assumption that your story will be bad based merely upon the existence of an Original Character is a silly and ignorant assumption to make. Let me make a parallel in the Trinity Blood universe: just because one Methuselah is an evil asshole doesn't necessarily mean that all Methuselahs are evil assholes as a whole. Just because there are a lot of crappy OC stories out there doesn't mean that every single OC story is also crap. This is common sense.
And yours started off well. I think KW is wrong: your prologue was humourous and it DID serve a purpose - that purpose was to establish the reason for the presence of the OC in the story. Without it, your OC would be less likely and therefore less believable. I DO want to know what happens next. I DID understand the dialogue (I don't see how KW was having problems). Please continue the story. Negative, rude reviews like that can put a dampener on anyone's willingness to continue a story. If KW had truly wanted to help you improve, they would have offered suggestions for improvement (CONSTRUCTIVE criticism) rather than simply knocking down everything they could and making nasty aspersions about your intelligence just because of some apparent prejudice against OC stories.
There were no spelling or grammatical errors that I could see; it flowed pretty well. This chapter on its own is not enough for me to be a spot-on judge of your writing style as a whole, but to me there seems to be absolutely nothing to complain about. Please, please continue this story, because if you stopped writing it just because of the one bad review, that would be a terrible shame. This should be a supportive place where people can improve their writing with HELP from others, not hindrance.
I'm sorry for the length of this review; I just hate haters, I guess.
11/4/2009 c1 1inperfection
I think this story has good potential and I do hope that you continue it, I read the reviews of this story, as a habit, and I just wanted to say that I hope you don't take that first review to heart, or let it prevent you from writing some people are just rude.
1inperfectionI think this story has good potential and I do hope that you continue it, I read the reviews of this story, as a habit, and I just wanted to say that I hope you don't take that first review to heart, or let it prevent you from writing some people are just rude.
4/19/2009 c1 40Kaiser Washington
The purpose of the Prologue is to reveal enough about the story to pique the reader's curiosity, and also to hide enough to make the reader impatient to read more. Your prologue, however, didn't reveal anything at all. It was simply a boring conversation between two people that made no bit of sense (and I'm talking from the standpoint of the Sane Man.) I can tell from reading the little you've written that you suck at characterization. Another purpose of the Prologue is to provide a sufficiently strong base to the character of whichever character or characters you're portraying in it. Apart from the name of this person in your prologue, I didn't get anything about him. Then again, I couldn't hope to expect more from a miserable OC-writer. They were fated to have single-digit IQs and languish at the bottom of Society. Your OC is indubitably going to turn out to be an odious Mary Sue - the same species as the stuff you flush down the toilet every day. The smart thing to do would be to never update this sh*t again.
40Kaiser WashingtonThe purpose of the Prologue is to reveal enough about the story to pique the reader's curiosity, and also to hide enough to make the reader impatient to read more. Your prologue, however, didn't reveal anything at all. It was simply a boring conversation between two people that made no bit of sense (and I'm talking from the standpoint of the Sane Man.) I can tell from reading the little you've written that you suck at characterization. Another purpose of the Prologue is to provide a sufficiently strong base to the character of whichever character or characters you're portraying in it. Apart from the name of this person in your prologue, I didn't get anything about him. Then again, I couldn't hope to expect more from a miserable OC-writer. They were fated to have single-digit IQs and languish at the bottom of Society. Your OC is indubitably going to turn out to be an odious Mary Sue - the same species as the stuff you flush down the toilet every day. The smart thing to do would be to never update this sh*t again.