for Life Isn't Fair4/19/2009 c1 loveisthegreatestmagic
This is really good. It's quite similar to how I pictured their reunion. It's just them conforting each other instead of Ginny being really angry at Harry and Harry feeling all guilty. I know he will feel guilty but I think that first meeting should have them just holding each other which is obviously what you've done. So well done for that.
However, the one big paragraph almost put me off from reading it. You need to break it down into paragraphs and start a new line when someone speaks. If you did that it would make it much easier to read and you might get more reviews.
It's a really good first story though. Keep it up.
This is really good. It's quite similar to how I pictured their reunion. It's just them conforting each other instead of Ginny being really angry at Harry and Harry feeling all guilty. I know he will feel guilty but I think that first meeting should have them just holding each other which is obviously what you've done. So well done for that.
However, the one big paragraph almost put me off from reading it. You need to break it down into paragraphs and start a new line when someone speaks. If you did that it would make it much easier to read and you might get more reviews.
It's a really good first story though. Keep it up.