for Life For Rent2/8/2021 c20 Jennifer C
Ok, and here it all went completely ooc! There are no baby showers in British tradition! Some borrowed the tradition from the US lately, but I can't believe for a second that someone like Narcissa would go with american muggle tradition like that.
The way they talk to each other, the way they behave. It is simply not Rowling's characters. It reads like an American tv series. Nothing wrong with it in itself, but it doesn't go well with decidedly british characters, let alone these characters.
And what is it with everyone getting pregnant? I can imagine Ginny being happy about it, she comes from a big family and she's been in love with Harry for years. but Hermione? No. She is happy about studying and teaching, and she is only twenty something. Their relationship with Snape is very new. For her not to ensure that she would get pregnant too soon is very ooc.
And I personally can't read another fic describing the joys and horror of pregnancy and all the uncomfortable situations the author plans to put Snape in. There are too many of them. Sorry, it is a pity really, I liked this fic from the start but the ooc-ness and cliches got to much to bear.
Ok, and here it all went completely ooc! There are no baby showers in British tradition! Some borrowed the tradition from the US lately, but I can't believe for a second that someone like Narcissa would go with american muggle tradition like that.
The way they talk to each other, the way they behave. It is simply not Rowling's characters. It reads like an American tv series. Nothing wrong with it in itself, but it doesn't go well with decidedly british characters, let alone these characters.
And what is it with everyone getting pregnant? I can imagine Ginny being happy about it, she comes from a big family and she's been in love with Harry for years. but Hermione? No. She is happy about studying and teaching, and she is only twenty something. Their relationship with Snape is very new. For her not to ensure that she would get pregnant too soon is very ooc.
And I personally can't read another fic describing the joys and horror of pregnancy and all the uncomfortable situations the author plans to put Snape in. There are too many of them. Sorry, it is a pity really, I liked this fic from the start but the ooc-ness and cliches got to much to bear.
2/8/2021 c18 Jennifer C
What Narcissa did, she did for her own family and out of self preservation, not to save Harry, but to save Draco, Harry was only the instrument for that. Malfoy was a monster before Voldemort's return. We first met him when sneaked Voldemort's diary into Ginny's cauldron knowing it will lead to deaths of children (we know that he knew because of Dobby's words.) He can be charming all he likes, he can make public gestures to show that he's changed, but he spent 40 years of his life literally doing evil and wishing evil and bringing evil to others even when there was no pressure on him. And Hermione knows all that. I can't believe that she would be so superficial to so easily start being friends with him just because he was charming at the dinner table.
What Narcissa did, she did for her own family and out of self preservation, not to save Harry, but to save Draco, Harry was only the instrument for that. Malfoy was a monster before Voldemort's return. We first met him when sneaked Voldemort's diary into Ginny's cauldron knowing it will lead to deaths of children (we know that he knew because of Dobby's words.) He can be charming all he likes, he can make public gestures to show that he's changed, but he spent 40 years of his life literally doing evil and wishing evil and bringing evil to others even when there was no pressure on him. And Hermione knows all that. I can't believe that she would be so superficial to so easily start being friends with him just because he was charming at the dinner table.
2/8/2021 c17 Jennifer C
Please don't take it personally but it is like the author understands that Snape is a private person and Hermione understands it and isn't the gossipy type herself, but the author doesn't really feel this way and isn't used to private people, so she constantly slips up and makes them behave ooc for the private people they are.
As to the chapter, I don't really understand why Snape would be guilty in this case. It was Hermione who was deliberately sabotaging things. Considering that Snape isn't used to relationships he is behaving remarkably well and is showing quite a bit of patience. Not to mention that Hermione could have just skipped the dinner if she weren't forcing him in Harry's company so much.
Narcissa is annoying and doesn't show any amount of guilt which is disturbing.
Please don't take it personally but it is like the author understands that Snape is a private person and Hermione understands it and isn't the gossipy type herself, but the author doesn't really feel this way and isn't used to private people, so she constantly slips up and makes them behave ooc for the private people they are.
As to the chapter, I don't really understand why Snape would be guilty in this case. It was Hermione who was deliberately sabotaging things. Considering that Snape isn't used to relationships he is behaving remarkably well and is showing quite a bit of patience. Not to mention that Hermione could have just skipped the dinner if she weren't forcing him in Harry's company so much.
Narcissa is annoying and doesn't show any amount of guilt which is disturbing.
2/8/2021 c16 Jennifer C
That's good that they called each other on the breaches of privacy. Of course there is privacy in a couple's life, a degree of it is essential.
I'm still waiting for the moment when Hermione realises that knowing how intensely private Snape is she should not share so many intimate details either. Considering that Hermione never was gossipy in school it is quite ooc for her to reveal so much to Ginny.
That's good that they called each other on the breaches of privacy. Of course there is privacy in a couple's life, a degree of it is essential.
I'm still waiting for the moment when Hermione realises that knowing how intensely private Snape is she should not share so many intimate details either. Considering that Hermione never was gossipy in school it is quite ooc for her to reveal so much to Ginny.
2/7/2021 c10 Jennifer C
Ginny being a gossip is fairly ic or at least doesn't contradict it, but Hermione isn't one. It is good she managed to realise that it's better not to share all the private information, but it would be more ic if she didn't share any information of a more personal nature. It's one thing to say that they kissed and whether it was good, and another to give a minute description.
Also, why no one mentioned the fact that David entered her flat without her permission? It's not like he could have magically move them there.
Ginny being a gossip is fairly ic or at least doesn't contradict it, but Hermione isn't one. It is good she managed to realise that it's better not to share all the private information, but it would be more ic if she didn't share any information of a more personal nature. It's one thing to say that they kissed and whether it was good, and another to give a minute description.
Also, why no one mentioned the fact that David entered her flat without her permission? It's not like he could have magically move them there.
2/7/2021 c8 Jennifer C
I'm glad there isn't much drama, it often feels forced, like the author thought more about finding something hit the readers over the head with, than actually working to advance the plot and develop the characters.
I'm really worried about this Ginny bit: " If she was going to keep his hair care secrets from Ginny she was going to have to have something else to tell her." It is good that Hermione can keep at least something to herself, but why on earth would she think that she has to tell Ginny something at all?! We can see the effort it takes him to open up to her, his future wife. Doesn't she stop to think how it would make him feel that while he is forcing himself to open up to her, she is sharing that information with her friends just to satisfy their curiosity. That actually is a betrayal on her part.
And last but not least about Lily. I wonder why so many people try to vilify her. We don't choose who we love, how often does it happen that we see someone great that we would be happy to love, but can't, because it doesn't work like that. From the books we know she didn't just leave him because of one word. It was because of Voldemort, because of his affinity to them. He didn't see the inherent evil, she did, and she saw him going deeper and deeper. It hurts thrice as much when you see your friend going down that road. The word was just a culmination of that. Would things be different if she forgave him? Who knows. It is right that she didn't? No. But it is understandable and it is not as simple as 'oh, he called me a bitch.'
Sorry :-)
I'm glad there isn't much drama, it often feels forced, like the author thought more about finding something hit the readers over the head with, than actually working to advance the plot and develop the characters.
I'm really worried about this Ginny bit: " If she was going to keep his hair care secrets from Ginny she was going to have to have something else to tell her." It is good that Hermione can keep at least something to herself, but why on earth would she think that she has to tell Ginny something at all?! We can see the effort it takes him to open up to her, his future wife. Doesn't she stop to think how it would make him feel that while he is forcing himself to open up to her, she is sharing that information with her friends just to satisfy their curiosity. That actually is a betrayal on her part.
And last but not least about Lily. I wonder why so many people try to vilify her. We don't choose who we love, how often does it happen that we see someone great that we would be happy to love, but can't, because it doesn't work like that. From the books we know she didn't just leave him because of one word. It was because of Voldemort, because of his affinity to them. He didn't see the inherent evil, she did, and she saw him going deeper and deeper. It hurts thrice as much when you see your friend going down that road. The word was just a culmination of that. Would things be different if she forgave him? Who knows. It is right that she didn't? No. But it is understandable and it is not as simple as 'oh, he called me a bitch.'
Sorry :-)
2/7/2021 c7 Jennifer C
I like your writing, don't het me wrong. It's just lately most of the fics I read have some intrusive annoying character that makes it harder to read and enjoy. Here this role as it often does falls on Ginny. I really really want to hex her mouth shut, so she would stop prying and commenting. I hope Hermione stops her at some point and it doesn't become a permanent feature.
I like your writing, don't het me wrong. It's just lately most of the fics I read have some intrusive annoying character that makes it harder to read and enjoy. Here this role as it often does falls on Ginny. I really really want to hex her mouth shut, so she would stop prying and commenting. I hope Hermione stops her at some point and it doesn't become a permanent feature.
2/7/2021 c5 Jennifer C
I understand Hermione wanting to have friends nearby for support, but it is very unfair towards Snape to allow them to observe them and eavesdrop. Specially knowing how private he is. Wanting something and even needing something do not make doing that something honest and fair and permissible. They are starting anew and that is not a good start.
I understand Hermione wanting to have friends nearby for support, but it is very unfair towards Snape to allow them to observe them and eavesdrop. Specially knowing how private he is. Wanting something and even needing something do not make doing that something honest and fair and permissible. They are starting anew and that is not a good start.
2/7/2021 c4 Jennifer C
The whole process sounds terribly intrusive. If it were done purely by magic, it would be one thing, but if someone has the access to this information... Not a pleasant though. Right up there with reading someone's diary and perform legimency against someone's will.
The whole process sounds terribly intrusive. If it were done purely by magic, it would be one thing, but if someone has the access to this information... Not a pleasant though. Right up there with reading someone's diary and perform legimency against someone's will.
2/7/2021 c3 Jennifer C
So they basically stole an evening from their friend and have put him in Rita's crossfires just to laugh at him? That's a prank someone plays on an enemy, and they have to be quite nasty individuals to do it even to an enemy. To do it to a friends would show them to be completely untrustworthy and not worthy of being friends.
So they basically stole an evening from their friend and have put him in Rita's crossfires just to laugh at him? That's a prank someone plays on an enemy, and they have to be quite nasty individuals to do it even to an enemy. To do it to a friends would show them to be completely untrustworthy and not worthy of being friends.
2/7/2021 c2 Jennifer C
That's an original beginning. I guess, if she is considering whether to wait with her answer or not, she has already decided. Nicely done.
That's an original beginning. I guess, if she is considering whether to wait with her answer or not, she has already decided. Nicely done.
2/6/2021 c31 Sky Hallow
I really enjoyed this story, I hope that you will come back and give us updates. It would be fun to see how their children grow up in the castle and how Snape treats them as little children and then as students. I think that they're a good match as a couple I see them reading by the fire discussing potions article and also the children both theirs and the students.
I really enjoyed this story, I hope that you will come back and give us updates. It would be fun to see how their children grow up in the castle and how Snape treats them as little children and then as students. I think that they're a good match as a couple I see them reading by the fire discussing potions article and also the children both theirs and the students.
3/29/2020 c31 NoonaMaya
intense story, I feel it answer so many question about Snape' feel bout Dumbledore (if he was surviving war). And beautiful love story with hermione. I dont feel he's OOC, I feel that what he will do if he survive, find true love and live happily ever after
intense story, I feel it answer so many question about Snape' feel bout Dumbledore (if he was surviving war). And beautiful love story with hermione. I dont feel he's OOC, I feel that what he will do if he survive, find true love and live happily ever after
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