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for Final Attempt

9/15/2009 c1 cabrera1234
cool story
8/6/2009 c2 noodle-monster
wow, i honestly didn't think fanfiction could get this bad.

did you even put any thought whatsoever into writing this?

piece of junk fic. sorry it just is. do us all a favor and delete it.
7/13/2009 c8 goku90504
GAH! this is difficult to follow what the heck is going on here

why is it king not queen? what is going on?
7/7/2009 c7 goku90504
huh? what's going on here?
7/6/2009 c1 Pryde Kitty
You misspelled Shampoo's name frequently, not to mention It's Ucchan, NOT Utchan. It seems like this MIGHT be interesting, but I can't get past these errors. Not to mention the whole thing with Akane and Shampoo turning into lovers comes almost out of nowhere, and also seems a bit forced, and done too quickly. Like a real "insert plot device" rather then a natural progression of the story.
6/6/2009 c4 2Lightspire
Well, just as ill-paced and fractured as I remember. Missing a LOT of information. Otherwise, still just as entertaining now as it was when I read it back then. If I recall, I think Circe would be taken from a fanfiction where Akane was the reincarnation of a silver millenium engineered super-soldier, yes? I can barely remember the story, but I think it fits in with what you have here. But the last two chapters are really quite choppy. The reader has to assume a LOT and fill in the blanks from having read other fanfiction and watching series, etc. Still, it's fun, though I've always questioned the multiple wives thing. I've only really seen it done well once, and that was with a Gargoyles fic. Still, I think this could be really great, it you'd just fill in the many, many missing chunks. I'll have to see if your voyager fic is up on FF. That was a fun read, if I recall.

I don't mind the use of Japanese, personally. I'm actually kinda fond of it. But it DOES frustrate readers. All in all, I like the story, it's just missing about, say, 3/4 of itself.
6/1/2009 c4 8Dumbledork
Did you skip a chapter? You went from Makoto learning that she's a sensji to the final battle. And who's Circe?
5/16/2009 c2 5Nysk
The story has potential, but I have to agree with another of your reviewers, I had to stop reading the story because I do not know Japanese. Some I can muddle through.. that much.

No thanks.

Luck with future chapters!
5/16/2009 c2 8Dumbledork
Well, this is a rather strange story. Entertaining, though. I'd just like to know if Ranma's curse is locked somehow or if there's a reason why she stays female? I'd think that the adoption process would be much easier if he were a guy.
5/15/2009 c2 22ellf
Too much usage of gratuitous Japanese. It makes the writing seem sloppy. If you're going to write in English, write in English.

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