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7/28 c33 Kristen Anne1
Here I am, 2020 and coming back to read this 11 year old unfinished fanfiction for the 3rd time. Still a good story despite being incomplete. Doubting it’ll ever be finished but I still love it.
5/21 c33 Owyheewinds
See, I don't know what you mean about this story chapter not being up to standard, because I was totally captivated and involved in it. I like how you keep the reader informed with the between scenes, I'm sure you have Noticed sometimes that writers forget to tell us how characters get from one location to another scene and headspace. I enjoyed how Jim ends up in sick bay after processing that maybe his better outlet for frustration is to go box with the bag; his reticence and fidgeting while Bones works, until he dozes off...totally recognizable and realistic. The detail is correct, deft and all helps to move the story along organically. I totally believe the world in which I'm living with the characters and action. I like the part where you have Jim, noting in an aside, all the masterful employment of Starfleet terminology, regulations, and sub parts thereof cited in support of the Nelson's mission report. It reminded me of my husband observing out loud to me, in his private medical practice, how it takes years to learn and apply all the language and terminology. (What is one of so many interesting things about practicing clinical medicine, is that using that terminology allows a very precise description of a problem, for example an infected appendix, using clinical diagnosis techniques. He could describe where and how the patient's appendix was lying, what it might be touching and also affecting; everything a surgeon needs to know, without needing to take X-rays. A good clinician saves time, money, and adds years of good life to their patients. But anyway,you make the reader very comfortable and firmly rooted in the characters' reality; it's absolutely delightful.
5/14 c26 Owyheewinds
Wow! You could work work up to writing commercially, from graphic novels to novels! Don't stop! I found I was drawn so deeply into this chapter, I had tightened several muscle groups in response to the tension and action!
5/13 c23 Owyheewinds
Wow...Spock really mastered himself, had an epiphany. The best, maturing person's outcome. Very real life between intelligent beings that are able to open up and examine themselves
5/12 c21 Owyheewinds
"...Bones' hand running something blinky over him" Perfect!
5/10 c19 Owyheewinds
"...crashing around...like a runaway bus" Perfect!
5/10 c17 Owyheewinds
Again, well done. I believe.
5/10 c16 Owyheewinds
Breathy exhalation...Well done, Author!
5/10 c15 Owyheewinds
Very well done!
5/9 c14 Owyheewinds
Masterful grasp on the separate characters and how they interact, spark off each other. I totally believe!
5/9 c11 Owyheewinds
This chapter made sense for me, I wondered if there was an upshot to all the drinking, flinging, and Jim's personal physiology...and you did it all quite nicely, and within our 2009 arcing in Jim's personality
5/9 c10 Owyheewinds
(I was kinda hoping Jim would grab a shower...umm ketones etc. , and more from drinking and flinging...I was expecting Spock to comment on his scents. Too much fanfiction and
5/8 c8 Owyheewinds
Great chapter, again! Very personal for Spock.
5/8 c7 Owyheewinds
I apologize for not writing any reviews, ack! Great writing, I believe the characters that you are writing!

Thank you!
4/28 c33 ijen524
I realise it's been over but I sincerely do hope you come back to this one day! hope you are well during this Covid madness
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