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for Artemis's Mistake

5/29/2009 c1 1Zoe Nightshade
Very Mary Sue, too short, mistakes everywhere, and we don't even know the main character's name. This needs a lot of work. I would get a beta-reader.
5/29/2009 c1 abandonedaccount000000
...The plot sounds utterly overused, and you have bad grammar.

1:You start a new paragraph when somebody speaks

2:So fastly paced

3:WHAT'S THE KID'S NAME?
5/29/2009 c1 19The New Ace of Spies
lots of mistakes. Grammar, paragraph mistakes but plot is interesting. We don't even the kid's name!
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