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for Artemis's Mistake

6/20/2011 c1 Luke-Bones
O.K, i will not rip on you for the storyline; it's good. And the fact that you already know it went too fast means i won't have to mention that either. But come on, did you do any research at all? Satyrs are never female, the girl versions are nymphs. Also, no god has 'time stopping' abilities, so why would any demigod have them? i am obsessive over greek mythology, so try and work on historical accuracy for future fics.

Sincerely, and slightly ticked off,

Mr. Luke Bones
6/16/2011 c5 PJ
What were you thinking perpetrating this atrocity? It has zero redeeming features.

Your plot is juvenile, atrocious, poorly planned and ridiculous.

You write terribly, have no grasp of grammar or style, and your pacing is horrendous.

The story is overrun with shitty, terribly developed OC's. Every single one of the canon characters is so egregiously OOC its vomit inducing. Your grasp of Greek mythology is likewise atrocious, which is especially sad considering the biggest plus of the PJ series is Riordan's flawless understanding and weaving of the Greco-Roman mythos into modern times.

Finally, your main charactet is one of the most blatantly obvious self-inserts ever.

Your story is crap and your writing talent is so bad as to be nearly non-existent. Stop writing and go back to your fangirl day-dreams.
5/31/2011 c26 9AxHopelesslyxHopefulxSoul
umm...one quick thing...there was no god named Hepatitis...it was Hephaestus...but other then that awesome chapter!
5/31/2011 c7 25svvanmillsarchive
This is really good. In all the fan-fics that have to do with Artemis having kids, she's always sweet to them. But I love this one because she wants to kill her daughter! Kudos to you!
5/29/2011 c26 5Danielle.daughter.of.Hermes
Haha, please update soon this story is amazing :D (A)
5/23/2011 c25 Danielle.daughter.of.Hermes
you should write more stories i love this one so much :D :D (A) LD
5/22/2011 c1 Danielle.daughter.of.Hermes
i like this story :D
4/4/2011 c19 9Turtlefoot
Daddy's Home. Yes.

Middle name Marie. No.
4/1/2011 c25 Medeina
I loved your book and have honestly always wondered what would happen to a daughter of Artemis. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue writing such wonderful stories!

(FYI I think we need to see a little Ward/Emily rule-breaking going on;)
3/24/2011 c25 dakjh
You do not have horrible writing (well, at first you sorta did, but not anymore)!
3/24/2011 c1 gadasdf
One teeny tiny problem- the dialog was horrible. But other than that, it's okay. It sort of fails with the originality factor, though.
3/8/2011 c4 Irene
Ooooh. So he is that times spawn.
3/8/2011 c3 Irene
I'm guessing Ward is "Chaos's" child. Chaos is the nothingness that made everything. He/she doesn't have a human embodiment, or animal, or anything. Heck, it probably doesn't exist anymore.
1/9/2011 c1 17Clara Fonteyn
I liked it! :D And that's saying a lot. The fast moving-ness, I like it. Good job!

Oh, by the way-and I know that the first chapter is really not a good indication of the entire story, but... you might want to get rid of the basic sentences, like "She looked very excited as she said that." How did she look excited? Did she lick her lips? Did she squint her eyes? Y'know what I mean... :D

xoxo Mira
1/4/2011 c25 justme667
Great ending to a great story. Congrates of finishing this masterpiece. Will there be a squel?
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