
4/19/2014 c1
4annea101
awww. i find this to be one of the sweetest wishology one shots i've come across and the best series of FOP iv read

awww. i find this to be one of the sweetest wishology one shots i've come across and the best series of FOP iv read
5/7/2012 c1 violet2008
A wonderful one shot. You captured Chester and AJ's thoughts and feelings to what was going on was wonderful. Very nice job indeed.
A wonderful one shot. You captured Chester and AJ's thoughts and feelings to what was going on was wonderful. Very nice job indeed.
2/23/2012 c1
21fan-freak121
I've always did like to see A.J. and Chester's loyalty to their friend Timmy. Nice one-shot.

I've always did like to see A.J. and Chester's loyalty to their friend Timmy. Nice one-shot.
11/2/2010 c1
9LIMBO Dib
That was...heart-wrenching. Those last few sentences were filled with so much hope...

That was...heart-wrenching. Those last few sentences were filled with so much hope...
10/30/2009 c1
32TTCyclone
Ok, that was just a pure tearjerker! *sniffle* MAN, THIS IS SO GOOD! T_T XD wow, am I bipolar or what? XD great job though, really.

Ok, that was just a pure tearjerker! *sniffle* MAN, THIS IS SO GOOD! T_T XD wow, am I bipolar or what? XD great job though, really.
10/19/2009 c1
32Radar1388
aww. and i think we can all agree that Timmy must've been terrified with the Darkness swallowed him up, nice one shot, very good, very good

aww. and i think we can all agree that Timmy must've been terrified with the Darkness swallowed him up, nice one shot, very good, very good
6/23/2009 c1
153candelight
WOW. O.O
I didn't like this Darkness fiction.
I LOVED IT! ^^ ^^ ^^ :) ;) =)
Very nice style...a peek into Chester's past...some original touches alongside those already in the movie...
Bravissimo. Very sweet. I'll be hoping for more of these in the future.

WOW. O.O
I didn't like this Darkness fiction.
I LOVED IT! ^^ ^^ ^^ :) ;) =)
Very nice style...a peek into Chester's past...some original touches alongside those already in the movie...
Bravissimo. Very sweet. I'll be hoping for more of these in the future.
6/7/2009 c1
11OddAuthor
Thanks, everyone. Your reviews were really encouraging. RinFang, I didn't found you harsh. I actually appreciated your suggestions. When I wrote it, I knew the ending was kind of abrupt, but I wasn't sure exactly how to end it. However, your three period idea seems pretty good. I just tried to edit it, but it didn't seem to take! Help! lol!

Thanks, everyone. Your reviews were really encouraging. RinFang, I didn't found you harsh. I actually appreciated your suggestions. When I wrote it, I knew the ending was kind of abrupt, but I wasn't sure exactly how to end it. However, your three period idea seems pretty good. I just tried to edit it, but it didn't seem to take! Help! lol!
6/6/2009 c1
50acosta perez jose ramiro
Very good job with both boys' thoughts.
Keep the good writing.

Very good job with both boys' thoughts.
Keep the good writing.
6/6/2009 c1 James Birdsong
Cute
Cute
6/5/2009 c1 Rin Fang
Here I am for review, part deux!
Now, for the story itself. It could use more... um... creativity. Nice concept, flawed execution. I see you wanted character development-good job on taking a stab at that! It came off as slightly sacrine, and although I'm a sap for wuv, it's best to ignore the experiences of the character and get down to the raw emotion, which is what the readers really care about. Throw out this style of prose-go for imagery! Find your inner poet, and unleash it. Wrap this bare skeleton in true flesh and blood (a bad metaphor, but you get my point). This is just screaming out for details, poetic prose. Eliminate the passive verbs. Show, don't tell.
The ending was a bit abrupt. It sort of left a sour taste in my mouth. Use the trusted triple-period thing I do a lot...? That might improve it.
Overall, this was a nice piece to read. I remember my first fanfiction-full of cliches and wallowing in epic fail. You didn't use cliches. Good for you!
The only thing you need is practice. I've been refining my style for years, and even still, I'm not publishable. I hope my review wasn't too harsh! Keep writing. Everyone has an amazing story inside them. It just takes them a while to find it.
Here I am for review, part deux!
Now, for the story itself. It could use more... um... creativity. Nice concept, flawed execution. I see you wanted character development-good job on taking a stab at that! It came off as slightly sacrine, and although I'm a sap for wuv, it's best to ignore the experiences of the character and get down to the raw emotion, which is what the readers really care about. Throw out this style of prose-go for imagery! Find your inner poet, and unleash it. Wrap this bare skeleton in true flesh and blood (a bad metaphor, but you get my point). This is just screaming out for details, poetic prose. Eliminate the passive verbs. Show, don't tell.
The ending was a bit abrupt. It sort of left a sour taste in my mouth. Use the trusted triple-period thing I do a lot...? That might improve it.
Overall, this was a nice piece to read. I remember my first fanfiction-full of cliches and wallowing in epic fail. You didn't use cliches. Good for you!
The only thing you need is practice. I've been refining my style for years, and even still, I'm not publishable. I hope my review wasn't too harsh! Keep writing. Everyone has an amazing story inside them. It just takes them a while to find it.