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for Tales of The Cosmic Wars Vol Three: Light of Hope

3/19/2011 c82 darkknight713
Also, remade my account so I'll review from this name from now on. Need to catch up on Chad's story too, haven't read it in a while since I've been busy.

I did mean to mention a couple more things that slipped my mind a couple minutes ago. Hopefully for Zandoris, you'll use the full effect of his attacks before he bites (no real spoiler there, me thinks). I am curious to see how you're gonna pull what he does with his two swords.

And Zannacross, he's really stepping up his game huh? Good to see he's not wasting any more time, and he certainly rose the stakes there.

One more thing, after my first review of this chapter, I went on to check out a couple of the other users who review this story. In one of them (I think Lizard Valis), saw a review with my name on it; one I didn't personally write. I'm gonna guess that was you judging by what you said, so I'm gonna ask you nicely not to use my name in place of your own feedback or remarks. I wasn't even surfing the net on March 16th _

That aside, I hope to see that the conclusion to the finale is as good as you can make it. I already have that similar over-the-top feeling from Gurren Lagann. :3
3/19/2011 c82 WORD UP VEX
Ah man, it's sure is boring around he-**gets punched by Knuckles**



Not bad. Good to see there's an actual competent villain for a change, Zandoris is certainly different from the usual kind of villain you've had in this story. A shame he won't be seen for long, but he is just a cameo so it's all good :3 Morgoth agreeing with him puts him in the same ballpark as Zan.

Not much else I can really comment on, that's what stood out the most. Good call with the Exorcism of Light, nice to see that raw power doesn't always win for a change. It was definitely an effective way to remove the main hero from the field and give his comrades a great chance to shine.

Well, I look forward to the conclusion of the battles, so keep it up man. :)
3/16/2011 c80 1Lizard Valis
A relaxing chapter before doom. Some go to dinner, some go to a Bowling alley, others plot world doom, some plan strategies for the upcoming battle. Okay, this is different then the usual relaxing chapter with some mature content D: .

[Before he can go on he feels a soft hand go over his right hand before he looks up to see a genital Lacus stroke his face] = -_- a {genital} Lacus?

[Now then, I came here because the chiefs have informed me that dinner will be ready in a matter of minutes.] = This should be = [Now then, I came here because the {chefs} have informed me that dinner will be ready in a matter of minutes.].

[even his other cousin took delight in bushing his buttons to far.] = This should be = [even his other cousin took delight in {pushing} his buttons to far.].

[Myers responds with,"

Yes, we prepared as much as we could, not its time to see if all of it, are dreams and are struggles, will amount to anything. After coming this far I refuse to let us lose if we can do anything about it."] = This should be = [Myers responds with,

"Yes, we prepared as much as we could, not its time to see if all of it, {our} dreams and {our} struggles, will amount to anything. After coming this far I refuse to let us lose if we can do anything about it."] And many other {are} when it should be {our}.

[Don't feel bad, they were both very secretive people that hid there emotions form all.] = This should be = [Don't feel bad, they were both very secretive people that hid there emotions {from} all.]

[Oh well, at least I feel ready as ill ever be to do this.] = Shouldn't this be = [Oh well, at least I feel ready as {I'll} ever be to do this.]

[The digimon grins and says," Moring boss! You sleep well? Oh, what is Lacus doing?"] = This should be = [The digimon grins and says," {Morning boss!} You sleep well? Oh, what is Lacus doing?"]

[I promise you will lover the pancakes."] = This should be = [I promise you will {love} the pancakes."]

This chapter like many other chapter of Tales of the Cosmic Wars is full of spelling errors and weird grammar :( . What sort of typing program do you use?

[" Oh Ben, I am sorry. It's not you, your hands felt so genital.] = What's with the [your hands felt so {genital}.] type? Is this the mature content you mention in the beginning of this chapter?

[I would just like to say that Xenogears {is not} out for the PS network in America and if you call yourself a RPG fan and have either a PSP, a PS3, and the cash needed I would say do yourself a favor and get it pronto so you can see what a true ultimate RPG is hehe.] = So Xenogears isn't available for the US PS network? Interesting choice of words.
3/10/2011 c79 Lizard Valis
[With that Max succumbs to the magic of the emperor of evil, and a blinding light flashes all over heaven! When the light fades the followers of Zannacross open there eyes, and sees that everyone of those that refuse to submit to Zannacross are now nothing but glass like crystal statues!]= A Grandia III reference. I never thought I read one here :) .

This is a good fic minus a few spelling errors like Krios when its suppose to be Kiros. Also [I agreed to Cosmos's idea to be the guarding of the Axis of Time]= should be [I agreed to Cosmos's idea to be the {guardian} of the Axis of Time].

So Zannacross never truly absorb all of Cosmos's power to him. What a plot twist, I though the bad guys would win but turns out victory comes through many despair.

Erotic next chapter D: ? Not like Game Master: The Next Generation right :( ?
3/9/2011 c81 Manus McDougal
Not bad dude, sadly I don't have too much to remark on other than that the build up to this conclusion makes me excited to read what's to come! Nice on giving Doug, Aqua, Ben & Lacus some last minute training in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber; sounds just like me to stumble in there by chance, and end up making the best of it all. Lol, trivial events. Haha, I see what you did there.

Well, keep up the good work bud! ^^
3/1/2011 c80 2mangagor
ALRIGHT! first and foremost I wanted to say that I'm sorry for not reviewing in a while. You were so fast at releasing these long chapters that I really couldn't keep up. I love the entire plot twist, BUT Zannacross HAS become way too powerful. No, listen please. If he has complete control over spacetime continuum, he can only when and if he gets defeated just switch to another timeline where he wins or do something else. put simply, HE CANNOT LOSE, unless you manage to seal him before it starts going bad for him and even then he could have travelled in time to prevent it. however I praise you for not having an explicit scene with Ben and Lacus in this chapter, I fully agree that you should not try to push it for one scene. though I wouldn't mind tw- AHEM! awesome chapters as always. please keep it up for the finish.
2/28/2011 c1 Manus McDougal
Not bad at all. The drinking contest made me chuckle, totally sounds like something I would do.

I agree with dragonridley, the Ben & Lacus thing did feel like it went a bit far, going by what he referenced. In terms of mature content, I hardly even think it was worthwhile to put a warning (though still considerate of you regardless). The dialogue at times felt good, but at times it felt kinda cheesy. Like, I know couples can say cheesy stuff to one another, but some it...cheesed. The corny as hell "Adam and Eve" scene aside, I think some of Ben's dialogue was particularly good in terms of being in character. It was good to see that he didn't suddenly become this macho womanizer, I think more introverted and/or shy people could really relate with something like that.

And for some reason, I kinda laughed when Lacus said that at one time, Brad wanted her to get breast implants. So glad that character is gone.

It was nice to see the other characters' relationships also grow, and I liked the dialogue with Myers at the end too. That's a character I wish we saw a little more of throughout the story, but eh, oh well.

So, the final battle truly approaches? This'll be one interesting descent from the insane roller coaster this has been. Keep it comin' :D
2/28/2011 c80 2Keyblader Chad
well another chapter. them getting the time to rest makes a little more sense now but it still feels hilarious for Zannacross to be like this.

No surprises on the DougXAqua and EzanXAerith moments, theirs been plenty of obvious hints for it, nice to see, finally something on those moments though.

As for the certain scene...i can honestly say you don't need to worry at all about it being a breach of anything. i mean

A: Nothing full or major happened


B: pretty much all that did happen was them both being naked and Ben running his hands down her once or twice.

that's perfectly T territory, so you got nothing to worry about. i mean the very brief scene i done in the old x-mas chapter was very brief and was just stepping into the M rating, then the scene with Blue and Iris for me was definitely for the M rating hence why i put it up.

but i'd say you've got nothing to worry about for this scene.

one thing i will say though and like always, it's constructive criticism. i can understand what you was trying to do with all the conversing to get a really loving scene between Ben and Lacus, god knows they deserve it.

But they started to work themselves up for it and then spoke for ages about right in the middle of basically working themselves up. and then their conversation choices were about war, death, blood and the garden of eden story.

it feels like a mood killer, i see the point of it...character development, finally get them past their regrets and the horrors of the past. but to have that happen right in the middle of what was basically them slowly starting foreplay, it breaks the mood.

I'm all for character development and loving scenes, so again i understand what was trying to be done but it probably could've worked being earlier in the chapter instead of suddenly right in the middle of that scene. so it's just a matter of placement basically.

well that's about it for this review, keep up the good work. looking forward to the now truly final battles, until next time, so long.
2/28/2011 c80 5dragonridley
...hmm. that was...interesting to say the most.

felt it pushed itself a little far...especially the whole adam and eve thing between the love birds..or the...move Lacus used...still.

well, can't wait for the next one as always! :3
2/27/2011 c78 1Lizard Valis
Hmmm, so Zannacross is merging with Cosmos? Intriguing, I suppose.
2/20/2011 c79 5dragonridley
oh Zanny! oh why give them time? kill'em all now damnit you ego-filled GOD! ...ah well, guess he'll just get re-taught the lesson.

also, Ben and Lacus smexy time :3? lets see how you work it!

now to be serious.

overall, these last few chapters have been good. great to read as always, just it feels like Zannacross has lost the ball (the lesson he learnt from his last ownage.) from his court the moment he begun to taste the sweet sweet cake of victory.

lesson soon to be learned by time. the cake, is a goddamn lie...ESPECIALLY to villains!

keep on rockin'. President Eden, signing off, my sweet, sweet Amercia.
2/19/2011 c79 Doug was an interesting chapter, as a whole. Having Max & the others lose, while a shame, wasn't anything unexpected. And it further shows how much more powerful Zannacross and his demon lords are. That was pretty good.

I kinda agree with Chad on his remark about Zannacross, though I understand why you did it. It mainly falls into questioning Zannacross's ego, when he's seen countless of his powerful subordinates fall from similarly arrogant mistakes. "Inflated ego & arrogant" has been a pretty common recurring theme of villain for you. Also, you've made it clear many times in the story that Zannacross has the end goal of "recreating the universe in his image", which means wiping out those who oppose him and all that jazz. Knowing his minions failed against the heroes throughout the course of the entire story makes it seem a bit silly that Zannacross is under the same state of mind. Realistically, someone like that would eliminate the most powerful threats immediately. Seeing a dark being who isn't overly arrogant and big on the ego would be nice. But hey, at least there's still hope for one of the demon lords. **crosses fingers for Zandoris**

Buuuuut, I excuse that (somewhat, enough to not nitpick too much because I'm anal about that kind of stuff-just that if you don't hear this kind of feedback, you'll not get the feedback needed to help your writing skills get better ^^) because if Zannacross had that mentality, the story have ended when Zannacross was first released, when we saw how terribly outclassed the heroes were. ...AND WHAT ABOUT BOOMER?

Ben & Lacus's love scenes seem kind of weird. I'm all for the hero gettin' laid, go him, but I think it's the way you write it that seems a bit awkward, like the author's field of expertise is writing battles and story progression, not character romances. Ask me for suggestions when we head up to NYC later if you want.

Oh, and were I you, I really would have made no mention of their "love scene" next chapter in your a/n. Felt unnecessary and kinda kills the surprise. I'm just waiting to see some Ben show Lacus why he is the Chosen One...hopefully he doesn't fall limp. LOL! :D

And Lacus being all like "Oh, you couldn't save the others but at least you saved me" (I know that isn't what she said verbatim, but you get what I mean) kinda made me chuckle, it's kind of condescending, but in a modest way. Her motive was well meant...but I still chuckled at how counterproductive that sentiment could have been taken. Silly women.

Moving on, I think it's nice that Ben's friends are back. They've come this far, it would've been a real shame for them to bite the dust. And, it's good that you made that battle with them quick; I would've been personally disappointed if you had that fight be long, considering by this point, the main character is obviously more powerful than the rest of them.

But those aside, it was still pretty good. Don't take the constructive criticism in a bad light, it's all to help you as a writer bud. The finale definitely seems to be imminent, and with so much at stake, how can one not want to see what's coming next? Ben gets laid, Zannacross unleashes his hellhound Boomer and someone chucks a galaxy as a shuriken!

Well, keep up your momentum man. You're almost done. :D
2/19/2011 c79 2Keyblader Chad
well this was another great chapter, glad to see more of the fighting come to a close...i'm seriously starting to question Zannacross' intelligence though.

evil beings being connected to him in some way is damn right, he's as ego maniacal as them. you'd think the chosen hero and his girl coming back to fight him AGAIN would be a tip off that he best just end this now, but no he takes the chance.

how nice of him to sit back and give the heroes time to gather their strength, rest up, eat and in ben and lacus case: have sex.

Zannacross truly is the ultimate embodiment of darkness...he's as stupid and overconfident as every single one of them...ah...irony.

anyway it was another great chapter, looking forward to more, especially since now we'll be getting onto the final, final, final fight, after the rest. keep up the good work.
2/17/2011 c78 Keyblader Chad
well this was another good chapter, i can honestly say i'm not surprised at what happened to Cosmos though, i knew some sort of bad fate awaited her in this chapter due to the influences of Dissidia.

so far the battles are running quite well in heaven too, looking forward to seeing how they'll escalate, especially now that Zannacross is clearly winning. He's definitely Crazy Prepared.

heh as for the Castiel, Lysander and Azrael bit, but upon seeing the note, yeah that makes sense. i was wary at first but that's because Lysander was just a randomly picked name, by looking at latin and Azrael's name was just taken from the god in Discworld. The confusion i had was on whether you thought they were actual angelic names, hence using them for angels in this too.

Castiel is completely understandable though, in actual biblical lore he is indeed an angel.

overall pretty good chapter...i do have one little niggle mind you but i'd say it's more of a fanboy thing then anything. Darkness Beyond Time/Time's Eclipse from chrono cross is a completely different thing then The End of Time from chrono Trigger. End of Time is a zone outside the natural flow of time existing at both ends of the timeline where as the darkness beyond time is the void that all deceased timelines end up in.

of course if you decided to merge them into one for this story, that's fine, it still works like this anyway. i just can't help but get all fanboy technical about it.

Well anyway, keep up the great work, looking forward to whatever happens next.
2/13/2011 c78 Doug
Nice work, I enjoyed the conclusion to this fight. While it was no surprise that Zannacross won (because if Cosmos won, all of the build up for the main characters would really have been for naught), but it was still good.

I like how Max used his best attack, but Zandoris didn't use any of his. Makes it intriguing to see what this demon lord can actually do :3

Cool homage to Chrono Trigger too, one of the best RPGs in existence.

Keep up the good work dude. :D
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