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for Tales of The Cosmic Wars Vol Three: Light of Hope

3/22/2014 c45 37Piccolo Sky
Well, NOW Doug is being a d*ck for the sake of being a d*ck.

Hmm... Well, the fact that they're polishing off would-be villains faster than a donut in the fat farm definitely indicates what you think of the bad guys in FFXIII. :P I guess the real test, however, will be how long it takes to kill Ubertroll the Superpope, who just made the critical mistake of all Bond villains: "I'm going to leave them alone...not actually 'watch' them die...just assume it all went according to plan." Pretty sure Garma and Mateus will be the "real" threats of this arc.
3/22/2014 c44 Piccolo Sky
Wow, this chapter's the longest in a while. I'm going to be a bit clueless as I never played FFXIII, but...hopefully I'll get a general idea like I did for Brave Vesperia...

BOWSER: "What do you mean 'for once', Robotnik?" ...No comment. Obviously you have memory issues, Bowser.

...Toad kidnapped the Princess in exchange for a hug? Hmm...that raises an interesting philosophical question. Should kidnapping be tolerated if the ransom is ridiculously simple? Like, should a person be allowed to kidnap a hundred people if all they want in exchange is a pack of gum? Huh...

MYERS: Oh, Ben...you already killed a few billion the last time you were mad. What's one more? :P

Seriously, though, I don't think anyone misses that guy.

MYERS: Doug, shame on you for doing your own thing on Venom. And Ben? Thank you for doing your own thing on Venom. O_o

Myers...shove it. If you let Brad literally get away with murder for two years, you can just turn your pretty little head around and look the other way at everything Doug does. I think two volumes of stupidity has proven that your "instincts" about who is going to do what are about as sharp as a pound of wet leather. :P

I like Myers' idea for a "contest", as Brad would never turn down a chance to show off...but after what happened with the Dark Tekken tournament, I have a hard time believing he'd be willing to "sit through a bracket".

After what happened on the Brave Vesperia world, I'd be a tad more cautious about being too eager to help these guys.
3/22/2014 c43 Piccolo Sky
James: "Doug, how dare you try to find out why Lacus clings to Brad! Now get back here and keep being sad and wondering about it instead!" This...little altercation doesn't make sense. If Doug DID break off from the Enji, it'd be perfectly understandable. They're not only stupid...they're jerks too.

...It IS Lacus' own fault for not being able to snap out of it.

Ah, Doug...I love you more all the time. It feels like my thoughts are being injected in the story.

Lacus, on the other hand...heh, Darth, I have to be honest. You're not making Brad look worse with any of this. You're making LACUS look worse. At first, I thought your intentions were just misconstrued, but now I think you're actively trying to make the audience lose all respect for Lacus and share Doug's sentiment. At this point, I don't think the greatest novelist of all time could redeem her character. And 30 more chapters of her just sinking lower and lower? She's already human garbage. How can it get worse?

"You don't enjoy it"? Could have fooled me considering how you keep ramping it up. Like I said, at this point I think you're purposely putting in more to make Lacus the most loathesome character in the story...which she is. At least Zannacross, Damonus, and the others have some self-respect. Lacus, on the other hand, is worse than a person who became a drug-addicted prostitute of their own free will. Once a person has no self-respect, it's impossible for anyone else with self-respect to respect them.

BEN: "Alright, see you around Lacus. I'm sure neither Brad or the rest of his goons will come to rape you while I'm gone..."

BTW, Brad is supposed to be invincible "inside and out", including to thinks like poison and toxins. In that case, he can't get drunk. Drunkeness is the result of ethanol poisoning.

Darth, I'm sorry...but the f*** is Ben blabbing about at the end of this chapter?! Doug is RIGHT! Who was the one who kept saying he wasn't going to let anything get between him and his dream? Who was the one who said he wasn't going to end up being his dad and just "wishing" for something instead of letting it happen? Doug just spelled out Ben to a 'T'! Sure, Ben's friends helped with it, but he was the one who had to choose to go after his dream! All Doug is saying is that people shouldn't just lie around and wait for things to get better! Ben's full of crap, and you're contradicting yourself!

You may want to tell me to stop the edit now, Darth...because I'm changing this around. Doug was in the right; Ben was in the wrong. And he's making himself look dumber by insulting Doug. Just as I was getting to really like Ben, this happens. I might not run to Brad after this, but I'd never speak to Ben again. Not unless I got an apology.

I meant to keep reading all night long as as much as possible...but it's not Lacus who's turning me off this time. It's Ben...and, more importantly, how you're trying to make him so sickening self-righteous after this. It makes me want to vomit. That's right, Ben...keep doing the same crap you've been doing for three volumes and keep getting the same results and keep meeting the definition of insanity. It feels like you're trying to rub this in my face with that little scene at the end.

This time Lacus AND Ben need to die.
3/22/2014 c42 Piccolo Sky
Uh...I don't know why you're calling Doug "increasingly shady" or even trying to make him look that way. The only people who think he's "looking shady" are the brainless Enji, and yes...I'm calling bullsh't on this. Brad's been pulling crap for years. Ben killed billions. And now...Doug pretty much does what Ben is doing and he's supposed to be "shady"?

More than ready for this series to come to an end. All the villains are just saying stuff I already knew about Lacus. "Surprise move" or not...she's useless.

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/22/2014 c41 Piccolo Sky
Sigh...I really wish the heroes would stop saying crap like "you've gone too far" and "you won't get away with this", because the bad guys are always right...they WILL get away with it. Pretty much the only thing the villains can't get away with is destroying Corneria. They succeed with everything else.

Um...no, Lacus. Your will is pathetically weak.

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/22/2014 c40 Piccolo Sky
Wow...if I didn't know any better, I'd say Doug and I have a psychic link... I'm actually surprised he's matching my own thoughts so closely... I mean, if I didn't know that I didn't start reading Tales until after you had finished it, I'd say you were incorporating my thoughts into him...

Sorry, Lacus...you ARE an ice cold witch. :P At least Larxene gets to claim she's insane.

...Considering the fact Brad has a bunch of wimps for his henchmen, he should choose his words carefully before "building them up". Then again, Brad is such an ape he's incapable of higher cognitive thinking, it appears. He thinks the fact HE can beat up everyone naturally means everyone who likes him can ALSO beat up everyone. Wow...I think only four year olds are that dumb.

Wait...is it a clean "death match" or are they only fighting until one of them gives up or can't stand up? "Death Match" implies "to the death".

Kind of wonder if Charley was inspired by Bacterian, the first opponent in the first Dragonball tournament. At least he didn't have his, ahem, "dirty" fighting style. Ha! I made a funny! (Gets hit by bricks)

"The Masters won't stand for this. That's for sure." (...Epic Picard Double Facepalm)

"Crashing the Pot"... Hmm...

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/22/2014 c39 Piccolo Sky
"It's just that for every bad guy beaten, two more take its place!"

...Did Ben learn how to read my mind?

The Enji are bigger fools than I thought if they end up wanting to kick Brad out over illegal fighting when blowing up planets and killing billions is no big deal. :(

Gee, Ben is dumb. I can tell what's going on right here from a few context clues and he can't? Well...no one ever said heroes had to be intelligent... Hope he's ready to get beaten to a pulp AGAIN and have Lacus spit in his face AGAIN.

At any rate, he lucked out on his disguise. I can sort of imagine Ben and James trying to pull off the "Mighty Mask" deal in DBZ... It would have made for more humor. :P

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/22/2014 c38 Piccolo Sky
In all fairness, aside from the Blue Eyes White Dragon, the rest of those celestial beasts seem kind of hum-drum. I mean, they've already beaten two of them. And Damonus? I think the Blue Eyes knocked something loose in there. Your solution to beating someone you couldn't beat is...sending someone weaker than you? Whatyoutalkin'boutWillis?

At any rate, not familiar with this dude. Only "Emperor's Hands" I know of is Mara Jade from the Star Wars Expanded Universe.

Cloud has a good point. Although WWII had numerous causes, historians agree the major cause of WWII was the aftermath of WWI where the Allied Powers "punished" Germany for the war and bred a generation of hatred. Besides...it's what Tolkien would have done. :P Theoden forgave the Dunlandiers so long as they agreed to help rebuild, and Aragorn forgave the survivors of the Easterlings and Southrons.

Doug...you are now my favorite character. Thank you for pointing out the elephant in the room. Darth, you may be trying to make Doug look like the "bad guy" in all this...but I hope at some point Ben takes at least some of what he's saying to heart, because he's right about almost everything. Give up on Lacus? She gave up on YOU, man, and everyone else. Stop acting like she's worth looking out for. She doesn't even want your help.

And from personal experience...nothing good ever came from trying to just "ignore" this sort of thing and try and pretend it's not there. And it certainly hasn't resulted in a good outcome yet in this story.

...Did they elect a machine to be part of the Subcommittee? Eh...makes more sense than President of Earth for Life: X. :P

I'll admit, I didn't bother reading any of the bad guy sections. So long as it's "bad guys being bad", meh. :P

Seeing as Lacus has the same mentality as Sithanos, how come she hasn't joined up with them yet? Waiting for a "formal invitation"? At the bare minimum, how come she hasn't quit the Enji? She doesn't even want them to win. (I'd be SO happy if she did join Sithanos...a perfect reason to kill her.)

And you should have been a bit more "subtle" with Ali, Darth. Killed him before he had a chance to say as much as he did. Now the only way Lacus can be seen to have any IQ points whatsoever is if she can't recall the last four words she hears from anyone at any time due to a brain defect.

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/21/2014 c37 Piccolo Sky
...Why do they all care about Lacus?! She doesn't care about anyone! She's as bad as Brad! None of their reasoning at the beginning of this makes sense. If they were really this wimpy about letting "loose cannons" go out of control, I'm surprised they didn't surrender to the bad guys to begin with to keep them from killing things. Who the (Bleep) is Lacus that she should be some "gold standard" that everyone in the order should be making accomodations for? You realize how simple everything would be if she would just get killed? And all of these idiots deserve to get killed by Brad. This is what got me to drop things last time...crud like this. I honestly believe she could kill half of the Enji Knights herself and they'd still just look sad that Lacus was "hurting so much". I'm trying to think what it would be like if the cast of "The Sorceress Cycle" spent the remainder of the book sad that Mianyl was hurting so much when she started blowing up cities and summoning apocalypse beasts. Well...there'd be no Gaia left, for one thing.

...Ok, all of that stuff earlier about "sensing" evil is obviously a bunch of crap and they'd all been hit with stupid sticks if they think Brad is "good". And even Ben saw a "collar" on her.

Lacus needs to die. :( For that matter, so does Sabin, Terra, and Myers. Especially Myers. The amount of stupidity he's done over the course of this story and how many people he's gotten killed by not using his brain...sheesh.

...Lacus called Bezan a horrible monster that has no right to exist. (Pauses...then double facepalms.)

Oh, shut up, Lacus. Of course you enjoy seeing people suffer, just like you enjoy having people tell you what to do. Miserable tool. I'd call you a pathetic excuse of a woman but that implies you're something besides a puppet. You make Cloud in his worst spots of FFVII look good. I know you'll never consider rewriting the story to have Ben waste her, Darth...but I'm just fantasizing that it would be real nice if that happened. If she's too worthless of a person to stand up for herself, then Ben can at least be man enough to realize she's not worth the effort.

Anyway...toward the less annoying part of the chapter...

Since Weil is so big, I'd just stand on the back of his neck and hack away at his head region or spine. His arms probably don't even reach all the way around at this point. BTW, are they just "flying around in space" around him? I thought they had to worry about things like air and pressure?

To me, Weil's end was...rather disappointing. Considering he was mostly just talk and madness until this point, I expected a little more or different from a couple plot devices elevating him to the status of "every other standard major battle" and a fairly identical death to Marluxia's dialogue-wise. Especially considering the fact the difficulty seemed "skewed". When Ben was weaker he could blow up planets. Now that he and others are stronger, a planet-sized robot shouldn't have been much of an issue.

FUN FACT: Although from Weil's perspective he would instantly be "spaghettified", everyone else in the universe would never see Weil go in. They'd only see him falling into the black hole for the rest of eternity.

Just one "loose end" they should have tied up. They probably should have done something to ensure no one can ever use Abel's Ark, their side or otherwise. You mentioned earlier they can't blow up the Halos without serious consequence, but I'm not sure if the "master control" couldn't be turned into dust or thrown into a different black hole or something.

So, although I don't feel terribly satisfied with how this arc ended, at the bare minimum it should mean no more, to borrow a phrase from Vegeta, "trash puppets". Plus we don't have to deal with at least one villain's craziness anymore.

Anyway, just wanted to finish this up this morning.
3/21/2014 c36 Piccolo Sky
I've been moving quick over the Gundam stuff since I don't get it...but nice to see that they were able to torture one of the subvillains by letting him live and be dishonored.

It could have done with them all not standing around letting Weil ramble again and again, though. Especially since after every time they say something like "you really are a murderous psycho" or something. That's been clear for a couple chapters now. The guys still haven't learned to "open" with all they got...

But aside from that, I'll admit, this cycle was pretty good...except whenever there was more of the same from ape-like Brad and too-weak-to-live Lacus.

But...seriously? Another "drag out"? Yeah, I want to see an end to this story arc, but...this is taking too long. I'll finish it tomorrow.

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/21/2014 c35 Piccolo Sky
...Did Red XIII call one of the lesser badguys "filler"? ...Well, it was true, but still.

Pity none of these suicide bomber bad guys can tell their comrades that doing that never works. But...uh...by definition, I guess they couldn't...

Well, no more peons to hide behind. I'll admit, this saga is clearing a lot of the list of "people to kill", even if they're all the guys on the bottom of it. Well...I'd say Weil has hit Villain Breakdown, but...that happened way back in Volume Two if not Volume One.

I'm pleased with Ben, though. He just might be someone worth rallying behind even without his power... Hope he keeps it up.

Now...to see if Zabi gets a death fitting for a delusional nutcase...

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/21/2014 c34 Piccolo Sky
Hmm...going forward with Ezan/Aerith, eh? Well, it was only a matter of time. All of us FFVII fanfic writers are obsessed with bringing back Aerith, but if we keep her around long enough...we have to marry her off to someone. (Ragnar will fight you for her. :P I wonder who's stronger, though...Sorceress Aerith or Minerva Aerith? Uh...don't answer that. We'll get into a war...)

Where's a two-meter-wide thermal exhaust port when you need one? :P Well, of course, now that they're ON the Death Star that wouldn't be so good. Instead...find one of those Self-Destruct Buttons like in Spaceballs.

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/21/2014 c33 Piccolo Sky
Wow...that was an epic fail on the part of the bad guys. :)

Most of the fights were pretty much a breeze compared to Castle Oblivion, but nothing wrong with that. After all, these are only the second-string villains. I'd like Weil to get an ironic death at this point...he's certainly set himself up for one...but who knows if he'll get it. I'm guessing not...

Seriously, has Lacus ever done anything to merit everyone in the entire Enji Order cutting her slack? Lacus needs to die. :D
3/21/2014 c32 Piccolo Sky
Again, I kind of sped through the Gundam sections since...yeah, don't know Gundam. :X And since at least half of the fighting was Gundams...yeah, I went through quite a bit. Still got to catch some of it, though.

Lacus needs to die. :D
3/20/2014 c31 Piccolo Sky
"Why does someone like him always get away with this?" Uh...Ben? You're talking to the reason he always gets away with this. :P So much for the whole "last chance" crap.

Hmm...I can understand the citizens being too terrified to oppose Weil, and they'd have to be. Propaganda or no, as he hasn't done a single thing that's benefited anyone but himself, I can't imagine any of them actually like him. Hence it's hard to believe they'd be nuts enough to commit suicide for him.

Well, lots of low-level peons to crush this chapter. As I'm not up on Gundam, I kind of speed-read those parts, but the rest is good for a warm-up.

Lacus needs to die. :D
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